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Ever tried to quit?
When I found this forum my cd life change tremendously. I have made some great new relationships that have taught me a lot and forced me to look deeper into my CD world. I absolutely love dressing and feeling pretty but I know I don't have to do it to be happy 100% it's just a hobby that I enjoy. Sometimes I wonder should I just find another hobby?
The situations and harassment that can come from bending the norm can be horrible. I see that a lot of you are courageous and dead fast in your position to be you and that is very admirable. But I don't see myself that way. I also read some horrible things that some members went through and I wonder if I stopped I can avoid those situations myself.
I also wanted to add that every single person in this forum that I have had the pleasure to come in contact with have been completely amazing and understanding.
I find myself thinking of trying to stop and am just wondering if others have felt the same way or just came up with different ideas. Also, for all of you that have accepted yourself as a cd or transgendered, I honestly want to let you know that you are awesome and amazingly brave in doing something that makes you happy no matter what others may think.
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I've purged at least three times, no more purging for me. Dressing enfemme is in my DNA and I love that it is. HUGS to Shelly ! :)
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Hi Shelly,
Welcome to our world!! :hugs:
I would bet everyone around here has tried to quit a time or two. I have tried 3 or 4 times myself but always started again. After you quit and purge you'll find it much less expensive to just put your things away for a while. I really miss some of the skirts, bras, & panties I let go during a purge. Now I no longer want to stop....I enjoy every minute being a CD'er!!!
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Most ladies here will echo what's already been said. Tried to quit a few times myself and failed miserably. The need to CD keeps coming back. It's just how we are wired.
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I think I have purged with every major relatnship I had convinced they wouldn't accept. Some did, some didn't. In the end, I wish I never did and did stay true to myself.
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I think any experienced cross dresser who has not quit or purged at least once is probably lying. :-) Having doubts and playing mind games with yourself is natural and to be expected. Fear will always be a part of it, but it tends to decrease with time, experience and maturity.
It is easy to focus and dwell on the bad. Bad stories and experiences stick with you much more than good ones. For example, you tend to remember all of your speeding tickets or car accidents and forget about each of the days when nothing happened while driving. Significantly more people die in car accidents per day than from shark attacks in a year, but car accidents are not news worthy or interesting unless spectacular. Shark attacks make the news because of the rarity and spectacular nature of them. You still drive because the odds of having a fatal accident is miniscule compared to not having an accident and forget about the comparative odds of a shark attack. Bad things that can happen while cross dressed are more like shark attacks and not fatal car accidents. Humans are wired to notice and remember exceptions, strangeness, the unusual and patterns, but wired to push the usual and mundane into the background. If not, our brains would be hopeless cluttered with the inane and inconsequential bits of every day life.
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no point in purging, most just buy it all back. I've purged at least twice and now I have more than ever. No more purging for me either. Relaxed when dressed fem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
Shelly117
Ever tried to quit?
Yup. But it's like dieting. Just like I keep finding ice cream in my freezer, eventually there'll be new panties and bras in my wardrobe. The longest time of 'being on the wagon' was when I was dating and married, about seven years. Perhaps now I'm overdoing it 'to make up for lost time'.
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I didn't willingly purge. I've been a few weeks without my fem clothes. All I have left are a few pairs of panties. My wife bought me male underwear and right away they bothered me. I wear whatever is washed in the man underwear then panties until they get washed. I haven't worn man undies in a few days even though they are clean. I miss my clothes and am sorry my wife purged them.
I need my clothes, they are part of my life.
I could never willingly quit!
xo
Jen
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Emotions always run highs and lows when you are a CD. One thing to keep in mind is that you are a CD and whatever you try to do, like trying to erase all aspects of your feminine side, "THE DESIRE ALWAYS RETURNS, even after you have purged all your expensive clothes and accessories. YOU THEN HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN. Just tuck everything away for a while.
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I can pretty much take it or leave it. I found that things were better once I made it a total choice and realized it wasn't all about just me.:)
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Let's face it, life would be easier if we didn't CD or whatever. The fact is we are different and especially the way we express ourselves. Otherwise we wouldn't want to quit. We would put on our outfits and go where we want to go with the people we want to go with. CDing makes a lot of things dificult. Accepting that we are different and continuing it shows that there is a drive within us to express ourselves in a certain way. I've tried on several occasions. After a few small purges and one big one when I went on an eating binge, when I dropped back 2 dress sizes I regretted it so I quit purging early on.
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You can stop dressing, but you can't stop being trans. That is, you can stop dressing for a while. Eventually you might decide that when you stop dressing, it simply costs you too much. It's a question of your own happiness--where will you find it?
I'm trans. I was always unhappy when I tried not to think about that fact.
Best wishes, Annabelle
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I've been doing this since I was 4 years old and never wanted to quit. I was very careful not to get found out and would not dress for periods just because it wasn't prudent to do so. I never really wondered why I do it either, I always knew. But like I have said Inever that I can remember decided to quit or even had the urge to stop doing it. Even during times when I couldn't dress safely I still wanted to and looked on as I saw the clothes of the real girls around me.
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I did try to quit but it only made me want to dress more. The reason why is that I was told to quit. It was not my decision at the time.
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I began wearing my mom's clothes when I was about 7. Over the years (too many of them... :) ) I've purged and attempted to quit more times than I care to think about. All the lovely clothes I bought only to discard to some donation bin or trash bin, what a wardrobe I would have had. It would have been so much simpler had I accepted myself in my 20's and been free of all the guilt that caused me to toss all those items, only to find myself back shopping for replacements weeks or months or even years later.
Yes, I've tried and come to the realization that quitting would be denying who I am. It would be trying to put aside a big part of my being and I will no longer do that.
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I have quit and started back up many times and always felt guilty. This time though I have come to realize that this is who I am. There's nothing wrong us we work , pay taxes and take care of our families. The best part of crossdressing is when you can finally accept yourself for who you are.
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I've tried to quit a few times, but Candice always clawed her way back into my life. The longest I've quit for is six months, I usually only last a month or two. I've given up on trying to deny that I'm transgendered, so now I try to just take a break here and there to keep thing fresh. The last time I quit was after spending 90% of my time off for two months home as Candice, it was to see with practice how good I could look. Due to not going out much because of unwanted attention, I neglected a lot of other things in my life. At the end of the two months I was disappointed with myself, I had accomplished what I wanted, which was perfecting my look and seeing how spending a large amount of time as Candice would effect my decision on whether or not to transition. But at the cost of lost opportunities, really made me stop and smell the roses, and decided that I had enough and quit for about six weeks.
Currently I'm at a cross roads again, and not sure where Candice and me will end up.
If I have any advice for anyone, it is when you decide to quit DO NOT purge, take everything for dressing and put it away out of sight. And if you do quit and feel comfortable with the decision then purge.
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Quitting to me is like losing weight. You go on a diet lose the weight and then put it on again and some. You try quitting CDing. After a couple of months you go back to it putting more into it than you did previously.
Maria
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Quitting has come and gone, and come again to mind, but, as much as i dress up pretty, there is still partly a man underneath it all. I have not purged totally ever.
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At this point, I don't think I could ever quit completely. I stopped dressing for about a year and a half after being caught by my wife (had been actively dressing about eight months till then), and like so many others before me, was drawn back to it and I'm on the down-low again.
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I've never tried to quit and being here allows me to read others experiences and know how far I wish to take my CD'ing. My wife knows that i don't wish to be a woman but she also knows that I enjoy wearing lingerie, painting my toes, and I'm hinting to her that i'd like to try wearing something pretty. She doesn't know that I would love to go out for coffee or a drink with her dressed up as Amber. I think we all have a certain level of comfort with what we do or who we are and we should go with it. It's our life and our decision how far we take it. While there are some unenlightened people in the world, live your life for you.
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Quote:
Ever tried to quit?
Yes. Two times. The last one was so painful. I threw out some jewelry a former GF gave me and some of my mom's stuff that I can never get back. When I need a good cry, all I have to do is think on it for a few minutes.
My advice if you need a break is find a friend or a local transformation business and have them hold it for you. It's not an addiction, so the normal addiction intervention stuff won't work on it. It's tied to identity and that's a whole 'nother thing to change. I believe that people can change their identities; however, you have to make sure that it's really you you're changing into or someone else's idea of you. We carry that societal voice around with us and it's really strong in the beginning of our lives. It was essential to fit in as a teenager because social acceptance is part of development. In our case, as CDers, it's the reason why this place is so important. You fit in here by being outside of societies normal male profile. We are equal time.
