After all I discussed with her

Hi all,

After thinking about a year last night I talked to my wife in about my Crossdressing. I told her that I am feeling to do crossdress when I saw her in new outfits. I told her that I have this desire from childhood and I dont know what to do with it. I told her that I was scared to tell her and because of that I kept this secret to me. She listened everything and told me that "I am your wife and you can share anything to me there is not need to be afraid". She told me that give me some time to be prepared mentally. She said that she will help me in CDing but she need some time.

I was so surprised with her reply. I am now relaxed about my CDing.

Is there any suggestions for me to go ahead in this? I mean is there any suggestion that how I need to talk to her regarding CDing which make her more comfortable about my CDing?

I would recommend that you take your time and try to let her set the pace. It can feel frustratingly slow, but let her dictate the pace.

Some avenues to opening up to conversations is while you two are out, point out someone that has an outfit on that you like and ask her questions. Find out what she thinks and get her input for a style that would be best on you. Start small with clothing and very slowly work your way towards the complete package. Give her time to let it soak in and get used to any changes to you.

My wife is going to take a long time getting used to me shaving my legs. What I am doing about this aspect is getting her permission to shave my legs and increasing the time limit to slowly desensitize her to the "Weirdness" factor. She is used to 15 years of Sasquatch legs and going suddenly to legs as smooth as hers is a shock.

Again, take it slow and let her set the pace.

Jamie

thanks Jamie for your reply.

You are right I think its going to be slow. I am happy that she said that she is going to support me... I will go slowly in this...

Just love her and listen, she will most likely bring it up again.

Hugs
Jolene

She has said give her time,. Wait a couple of days and just bring the subject up but if she doesn't want to talk then leave it because the more you push the worse things will become. When you are talking be honest with her and answer her questions as honest as you can, don't give answers that you think she wants to hear, as that will come back and bite you.

Keep the lines of communication open but don't rush things. You could also suggest that she joins here and comes and joins the GGs in FAB.

Give her lots of time - and lots of loving to reassure her that she still has a man!

Its great that she is being open to you...
Let her set the speed and the timing of your next discussion. Give her all of the time that she needs to "sort this out" and please try not to pressure her at all. If she offered to help you dress, wait and be patient and let her bring it up when she is ready...

Hi,

Allow your Wife to take the lead. allow her to be comfortable with this new part of your lives, & youll have what you need to do other wise will cause a lot of grife, & remember to both have a fun time together, as well.

...noeleena...

Keep the dialog going.
I only told my wife 3 months ago. We are much happier for it. Talking about you feelings to your wife will help her to understand and to realize that you are still the man she married.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by andrea lace

Talking about you feelings to your wife will help her to understand.

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That is right but you also have to make sure that you understand the SOs feeling as well, and work together on things.

Always remember she is your wife and your best friend. Dont forget her feelings and just take things slow.
Tour off to a nice start by telling her and not hiding it from her.
Hugs
Renee

Yes, TALK about your cross dressing with her and let her take the pace of acceptance. Do NOT dress in front of her until she says it's ok. Now, it is ok for you to ask her if she has questions and you will answer anything honestly. I told my wife two years ago. Life has been better than I ever imagined. Remember that you have had decades to come to grips with this. She has had days. Talk, talk, talk.

This is a great outcome, on that I think almost all women are capable of. They are better than us in that regard.

Go slowly with anything you do and do not overwhelm her.
Do things like dressing only when asked.

Again, my vote is go slow. I think it's great that you've got past this stage. it seems to me, that this whole idea is, if not new, somewhat unclear and puzzling to YOU, never mind her. Yes?

My own experience leads me to believe that your feelings about this will change, and you may get curiosity to explore other facets, i.e. your orientation. Treat this with caution. Before getting a clear understanding that gender identification, expression, and sexual orientation, ARE DIFFERENT THINGS, there is a tendency to think that one follows the other. Before you experiment, think deeply on this, be as honest as you can with yourself. Curiosity does not mean that's your thing. Raising such subjects with your wife can be terrifically difficult, and may cause unneeded complications. For a long while when i was younger, I wondered if I was gay, some may say that's stupid, how can you not know one way or another? But depending on your upbringing, and how others around you express themselves, it can be very difficult to examine it clearly.

I think if a year has gone by without her bringing it up, it's time for you to say something, or am I missing something in your first sentence? A year is a long time to "think about it" my guess is if she hasn't brought it up in the amount of time, she's brushing it under te rug.

I agree with the others , give your wife time to think about what this means to you both , I am glad it went well for you as your wife seems to accept it, just be careful it does not send you into a pink fog , it is amazing how some wives can be when you trust and share with them .

Hi Kendra, The ball is in her court now go easy and don't over whelm her.