Printable View
I'm sitting here thinking about my life and were I am. I've been dressing for almost 50 years, but only realized about my real fem side about two years ago...that there was truly a complete otherside of me and she deserved to be here. I know raising a family probally slowed her being here...but I've noticed that we become more open about who we are as we get older...am I right? What do you think?
I think it's true. Maybe it's because we are past the point of no return, or we are at a point in our lives where we no longer feel the need to hide - especially from ourselves. For me, the change has come from within, as in greater self acceptance and greater self confidence, and from without, in the support of my wife, family and friends.
Since retirement going on 9 years now. Dressing has been pretty much fulltime. Am enjoying it real well and answer to nobody.
I agree, Diana. I think the first half of life we spend trying to fit in, and the second half we spend realizing mortality and that being ourselves is far more important than trying to be what someone else thinks you should be. With age comes a certain amount of freedom from worrying what everyone else thinks and enjoying ourselves for who we are.
It certainly does come easier now than when I was younger. Like others, I guess I'm less concerned about others judgment of me, and less paranoid. Also, I spent so many years doing everything for the others in my life that I no longer feel guilty for indulging myself a bit.
Miriam
I like to look at it this way. When we decide that we have finally reached and merit that "old" and "senior" monikers, we can justifiably state that we probably do know better and can see clearer. We worked many years and had all kinds of experiences both good and bad. Sometimes the bad are much better for us in the long run. We also start thinking about that extremely bright light at the end of the tunnel and begin to realize that the old saying, "Live today like it is the last day of your life" really does make a lot of sense.
In my case, I lived all over the place, worked hard and reached my eventual level of incompetence, had cancer (an eye opener), raised my kids, kinda, because I was married at that time and she did most if not all the work, have two married kids, one going through divorce, dated before and after marriage, found this side of me only 7 years ago, am more opinionated than before, if that is even possible, definitely care less what other people think and have decided to totally embrace this side of me with only minor restrictions (my own restrictions).
I also sometimes wonder what it would have been like of I had started way earlier in life. That is where my great common sense and pragmaticism (if that is a word?) come into play. I try not to worry about that which I can do nothing about, and that makes my life so much easier to manage and more importantly, to live. I probably could never have done that when I was younger. So, even though I am certifiably and legally "old", it really does help me enjoy life like I never did before.
Diana, you're right! Check out the post I started about those of us who are 60 and beyond. I suppose there comes a time when many of us just say *********! and move beyond, throwing all caution to to the wind and essentially telling everyone else just to deal with us and our being. I've recently outed myself to a lot of people who have proven to be loving, caring, intrigued, and accepting to become even better friends. How can they affect us? I really don't care anymore about what anyone thinks of me. What anyone thinks of me is none of my business anyway. I'm just going to enjoy whatever years I have left. I'm tired of conforming to what anyone "expects" of me!
Cheryl Ann
I have been dressing a lifetime on and off.. I know what you mean about raising a family and putting the dressing aside ( as much as I could anyways).. But I am not so sure about being more open as we get older.. For me it's true in part but I also add that times have changed and more people are open to it, so being lynched isn't that big of an issue anymore..
Yes, we seem to be more open as we get older...I think it's really we just don't give a S$#T what people think anymore...LOL. It's become the "This is me, deal with it" attitude for me. At this point in our lives we've been through a lot, seen a lot and done a lot and I'm not about to have someone 30 years younger telling me what's ok for me to do.
I don't think the openness is a function of age, but rather of changing situations (over time) that previously suppressed openness, such as job security or retirement, empty nest, single again, etc.
I suppose I could say that I am more open about my dressing, but only to myself. I now readily admit that I love wearing women's clothing and do so without any feeling of guilt or shame. I spend most of
my day when I am at home fully dressed. I have a closet full of lovely dresses and am always on the lookout for more pretties to add to them. The only drawback is if I look in the mirror all I see is a
little old man wearing a dress. LOL.
Vieja
Yes, I agree. The turning point for me was the death of my parents. They lived a long full lives and but it was then that I realized that we don't live forever and therefore we need to be true to ourselves. Both of my college age children know about my dressing and I am not as hesitant to be dressed at home around them. My wife still does not embrace my dressing in public with her so I dress according to her wishes. I don't hesitate to go out dressed when alone and really no longer care about what strangers may think. I have received no ridicule or threats and have either been ignored or unrecognized.
I do have a hypothesis: The older we become, the more men and women look alike (as long a you can maintain a reasonable body shape). As gravity starts to affect our facial features, women start to resemble men and as a result, if you put age appropriate female clothing on a old man, he looks just like a typical old woman. No offense, just a personal theory.
So by older you mean close to retirement age. I wasn't more open at age 40 compared to age 20, or even 50 compared to 30. We have to play whatever game is necessary to earn a living during most of our lives. If we were somehow magically surrounded by others that approved of crossdressing at an early age, we would have been open about it from the start.
Diana,
Hello! Yes, I agree with you...I have become more open, and less stressed, about my cross-dressing, as I have gotten older. I just don't let the little things bother me any longer. "We are who we are," as you say. I think the older I get, the more powerful my femme side becomes, and I am embracing that part of me...I love it....
As time goes on,if we truly develop as a person, we become more comfortable with ourselves and our feelings mostly and don't really care what others may think.:)
You are right I will be 60 next Monday and each day I get more open, I started to wear make-up to work about 2 years ago , I wear a lot more make-up today than then when I started. I start small and now wear a bra with padding to work. So yes I am more open to who I am.
Let me chime in with very similar comments posted here. I am 73 years old and to be very honest, I didn't accept myself until about age 60. Once I reached that point, I began to embrace my natural feminity (even told my wife after 37 years of marriage), and things have been much better for me. Now if only my wife would on from "tolerating" to "accepting", things would be even better.
It could be that. Or, more likely what Cheryl says.
Listen, I'm running out of time! I can't be pussyfooting around or I'll have many regrets later!Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheryl T
I don't know about being more open the older I get... all I know is I'm getting more wrinkly as I get older and it sucks!
Acckk! Me too! Add hair loss and more aches and pains, not to mention stupid pills I never needed before and it gets maddening! Am I more open? I'm just getting to the point of not caring so much, those other things are more worrisome for me now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
I think you are very correct with this. I see people of both sexes at advanced age that show strong features of the opposite sex. I think too that many of us have been dressing for so long that it's second nature to us and we've become more used to it that it begins to be so much a part of us that in our minds it becomes more normal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie D
In another situation a friend of mine had passed away at 84. A couple years before that I had asked him if he wanted to be laying on his death bed wishing he had done something different. He wanted to retire from his business and never did.
Cheryl Ann
As far as similarities of looking alike, the people who know me when dressed as a male and dressed as a female all agree that I look at least 10 to 15 years younger as Annie than as my male self. I realize now that make up makes such a huge difference in our appearance and I was foolish not to have discovered that fact years earlier. I think that at this point in my life that I should continue to be dressed as Annie because I much prefer to be a middle aged woman rather than an old man. Besides, it is impolite to ask a woman her age and nobody wants to hear, " just how old are you, you old fart?"!!
I do mourn the passing of Beverley aged 20, she was a looker.
I hear people say act age appropriate, if I had to do that I think I would die.
Do not contemplate what the future may hold, live life to the fullest whilst you can.
I know some who have drawn a short straw and I do feel for them.
For those here that I do not know reading this, I have you in my consideration too.