I just wanted to share what was quite a milestone for me...
I have been dressing since I was a child ( I am now in my 40's) and am in the closet as far as my friends are concerned, although my Mrs knows and is cool with me dressing at home.. I have been to a few Tgirl clubs but in all honesty haven't had the greatest of nights.. I always seem to stand on the edges watching everyone else having a good time while I feel like a bit of a spare part. I'm not flamboyant, so it's hard for me to just go up to a stranger and start talking.
I share this story with you because it is NEVER too late to push your boundaries a bit ...
I had to go to Cardiff on business this week and I thought, why not stay in a T-girl friendly hotel so that I can dress and go downstairs and generally have a nice relaxing evening. After a search, I discovered tyrosa.com/ a lovely hotel run by a couple of gay guys. I called up just to double check that they were ok with me dressing ... "Yeah no problem - dress - come downstairs and have a glass of wine".
On my journey from London to Cardiff, I was feeling the urge with every passing mile, so about half way along the motorway, I stopped at a service station and in the car park, completely made myself up, put some big ear rings in. Put on my nail varnish... Bra, boobs, girly top, and just left my jeans on which are quite androdgynous anyway.
It felt SO wonderful to be driving on that long journey as Debi! and as the clock ticked by, I was just feeling more and more ok with myself not to mention 'pinker and pinker' if you know what I mean.
My first adrenaline moment was paying the toll for the bridge. You have to remember that I have virtually no experience with being out in public, but to my surprise, I handed over my money and I didn't feel odd at all. Nothing was going to happen! I wasn't going to get arrested or anything. That was easy!
I arrived at the hotel and was greeted by one of the owners Stuart. He was SO friendly and put me at ease. "Go in there my lovely - make yourself at home - would you like a cup of tea?" This was great - just doing something normal as a girl ... having a cup of tea.
He proceeded to tell me about T-friendly places in the area and then said "or alternatively myself and my partner are going to a pub and then onto a Karaoke place - you are welcome to come out with us"
Because I have almost NO experience with going out in the open, I thought to myself- well that's a whole lot LESS scary than going out on my own. I am in a city MILES and MILES away from home, so I'm not going to get spotted. YES..that would be lovely!
We got dropped of by Taxi walked along to a pub and had a couple of drinks in there and then we walked for about 10/15 minutes (lovely to walk along the street in heels) on our way to another bar. Here's the funny thing ... we were walking along chatting and I felt TOTALLY at ease and amazingly NOBODY murdered me! I didn't even get one derogatory comment.
We ended up at a gay bar that had a karaoke night on and after that usual discussion "are you going to get up and do a song?" I thought yeah! **** it! put me down! After half an hour or so, my name came up on the screens.
I got on the stage in front of all these gay men (I wasn't sure what the dynamic is being in a gay club, as I've heard that some gay men don't particularly like T-girls). My two new friends were clapping..
Now I'm a pretty decent singer thankfully .. infact I'm rather good! .. well to be honest - I am a musician and singer who performs at rather a high level! but I WAS a little nervous to say the least getting up under the spotlight for the first time as a girl with the whole bar looking at me..
I chose 'Not That Kind of Girl' by Anastasia as I thought it might be an appropriate song! After two lines, the bar erupted and I MEAN ERUPTED! ... I was totally hammering it out for everything I was worth and I was totally in the zone. (It is such a lovely feeling when that happens).
After I finished my song, everybody was cheering and I had loads of guys coming over to me saying how amazing I was and so on.
It just felt that on Monday night - Debi finally came out!
I was not only accepted as being a girl, but I was celebrated for being a girl singer. Even the door man kissed me on the cheek when I left!
I want to thank Stuart and Paul from the hotel for making Monday night not only such a fantastic night, but in Debi's life ... the BEST night of my life!
I can't wait to do it again...
If only I didn't have neighbours where I live!
xxx
