More on the don't tell list

So coming out all or part way always has the issues of who to tell, when to tell, why bother telling etc. And I'm transitioning into the queer/ gender outlaw middle and don't want to be that far out at work. There's no hiding my shoulder length hair, but the rest can be hidden.

But friends and family, that's where I yearn most to be out and comfortable. So I'm out to wife and kids and 2/3 of my best friends. Im an only child so extended family is mostly ALL on my wife's side, and I'm letting her call the shots about telling as these are her close relationships and she needs to be comfortable. And she has A LOT of family, 7 siblings, all of whom have been in town for a memorial service for my wife's mom who recently passed away.

So my wife is working with two of her sisters sorting family memorabilia from her Moms house and she gets a text from a TG girl forum friend. My wife tests the water with her sisters by outing the TG girl friend as a TG "business contact" and explains the TG friends life.

And her sisters unload the born again Christian, act against the Bible, sin to God, bad choice, gays are abominations lecture. My wife's efforts at reasoning about any of it were rejected. It really wasn't a surprise one used to go to Pastor Ted Haggard's congregation before his fall from grace amid scandal about his secret gay crack dealing prostitute hook ups.

So 2/7 of my wife's siblings are on the don't bother telling list.

They love me just fine and it's not essential to me they know anything except that I loved their Mom too, and I love their sister and she loves me.
There's no point in telling the ones you don't have to, right?
I mean why court trouble, right?

Well, I would agree. I don't need to publish to the world everything about me. It's not necessarily a reflection on the regard with which I hold the person, it's based on need/lack of need.

btw...I really respect your approach. And you are WAAAY ahead of me on the curve.

Regards
-stephani