Going to Court tomorrow

So I've got to be in court tomorrow. It's a hearing for a bogus contempt charge filed by my ex. The divorce was finalized as of June 27th and she filed this charge six days later. Money grubbing B*!@h. And she's already remarried! Anyway, I had to go into the guest bedroom closet to get clothes to wear for court. Dress khakis and button down shirt. That's where I stashed the remainder of my guy clothes as a just in case for this type of situation. I hung them up in my bedroom from a post. And looking at them hanging there just gives me such a dreadful nervous, anxious feeling. I'm sort of wondering if I can even pass as male anymore. I'll be wearing a sports bra under my shirt to kind of squash my boobs down a little. But I have a smallish frame and my solid A cups are getting really hard to hide. In my daily life I notice plenty of those sideways glances people give when they aren't sure what they are seeing (male or female). Unfortunately though, I do have to try and "man up" for court on this. Even though my trans nature finally coming out was the initial reason for our split, it was never brought up in the court proceedings so far. (Good thing, I guess.) But I don't know how I'm going to handle those couple of hours in the man suit. I'm already uncomfortable about having to go to court and deal with her in the first place. At this point, I wish she would just leave me alone so I can get on with my life. Well, wish me luck. Hopefully I won't have a panic attack in the courtroom.

Cheyenne;

Take a deep breath and realize that in a court case, the other side wants you to be as rattled as possible. take the time to compose yourself and realize that you can do this, think of it as the last costume party you will have to do. You will do well, everyone is pulling for you.

good luck .keep your head up high Cheyenne

Cheyenne, I wish you all the best tomorrow. Right shall prevail - hang in there!

U DO have a good attorney representing u, Chey? If so, don't worry. Trust him or her to take care of u. If u don't have a good attorney I wish u good luck!

By the way, sounds like u already would have lucked out if u lived in Calif. Divorced spouses that r the beneficiary of the court settlement get alimony for life here. If u were married for 10 years or more. Getting remarried stops those payments! On top of that, eventually her new hubby will occupy her thots, energies, and receive any residual venom!

Cheyenne, just keep positive thoughts about yourself going as you do this. Judges are not stupid, and can sense when BS is going down, as long as you have a good lawyer to make sure your side gets out there. Deep breaths, and this moment too shall pass.

Barbara

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Originally Posted by Barbara Ella

Judges are not stupid, and can sense when BS is going down, as long as you have a good lawyer to make sure your side gets out there.

Barbara

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You would hope so but that is simply not the truth. I could tell you stories.......

Good luck in court today.

I wish you all the best.
About a month ago I presented male for the 'last' time. I kept the pants and shirt cause I just know there will be another 'last' time. Life is weird (and a little unfair) that way.
That dreadful, nervous, anxious feeling? I takes me a few hours, and some false starts to get into guy clothes. First comes anxiety, then tears, then the runs. Once I'm all dressed up, I feel like people are staring at me!
I hope you win your case, then burn the drab.

Good luck keep your head up and stand tallas any good woman would Hugs Ronda

Its sucks, but at least its just for a couple hours. Just let your attorney handle it and keep your head up. Remember what a friend once told me: "The best revenge is to life a good life"

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Originally Posted by tgirlceleste

That dreadful, nervous, anxious feeling? I takes me a few hours, and some false starts to get into guy clothes. First comes anxiety, then tears, then the runs. Once I'm all dressed up, I feel like people are staring at me!

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I used to feel the same way about going out dressed female. Heck, I still get that feeling sometimes! Funny how these things reverse.

Cheyenne:

Hang in there I can understand your feelings and wish you the best.

Been there honey as going to court with a bitter ex is not fun nor do the courts treat you fair as a male. You might be better off going as a female. Not really, just hope the court see's that your wifes claim is bogus and she can let you alone. Fortunately she's married again as that means in most states alimony is cut off but not child support which none of the may apply to you... good luck honey....

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Originally Posted by almostalady

You would hope so but that is simply not the truth. I could tell you stories.......

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So could I, Lady! Quite a few judges r not only incompetent attorneys that had connections, but don't really give a crap about the cases they're hearing!

So I'm back from court. As expected the judge denied her claim for contempt. However, something amusing did happen. When speaking to the judge, my ex kept referring to me as "that person" instead of using my name or saying gentleman. The judge sternly corrected her saying that in the court she was to refer to me as "Mr. B*******". She countered by saying "But he's not, he's a...." At which point the judge cut her off again and told her to be quiet. As she started that statement, I said to myself, "Oh crap, here it comes." (As I said in my OP, my transness hasn't come up in the proceedings.) When the judge cut her off, I just had to chuckle inside. And now I'm laughing hysterically about it. She was getting so riled up the bailiff kept inching over to her side of the room to restrain her if necessary. So I still owe her money for the equity buyout of the house, but at least as long as I make my payments when I'm supposed to, I won't have to deal with her in person again. Now to shove the monkey suit back in the closet.:whew!:

awesome, i always was of the opinion that whoever got rattled the most in court lost, and itlooks like you rattled her pretty good. glad you are doing well.

Good for you Cheyenne! Had your ex labeled you as trans in a public court, my feeling is that her comment could be taken as slanderous in the courtroom especially if she were made to validate her statement. Glad the judge saw through it. Just speculating here.

Cheryl

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Originally Posted by Cheryl Ann Owens

Good for you Cheyenne! Had your ex labeled you as trans in a public court, my feeling is that her comment could be taken as slanderous in the courtroom ...

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Why do you feel that way? It's not slander if it's true, and denying it would constitute perjury in a court setting.

I'm glad it worked out well for you Cheyenne. She sounds very vindictive and the judge didn't allow any BS. Now you can get back to your real self and life. Sorry about her luck...

So glad for you Cheyenne. Now just get back to your real self and life, and enjoy.

Barbara

It reminds me of the day in court with my first wife for divorce. They were trying to crucify me and she kept saying things about me like he did this and he said that and interrupting the judge. He finally told her.............." I know you don't get along that is why you are here, so please be quiet!"

Cheyenne I guess it has to be said point blank.
GREAT FOR YOU!!!!

I feel so bad for you since you had to do this. When I got divorced, I went to court presenting female. I didn't even have my legal name change yet, but had been living full-time as a woman for a few months and decided I wasn't going to let this situation stopme from being my true self. When I entered the court room I went up to the clerk to register. I said, "My legal name is Paul N**** but I am a transgender woman and prefer to be called "Paulette". The clerk looked at me and replied, "yes, and you are a pretty woman too!" Now that made my day! I was so taken aback by what she said. There was no reason for her to compliment me. Yet she did. That so cool! I stood there in front of the judge. She listened to both our stories. She didn't give me any kind of a hassle. Everything was cool. My x-wife explained that because I had chosen to become a woman, that was the cause of our divorce. I agreed. It was over before I knew it and I left. To make a long story short, I have often thought about that day and take pride in the fact that I had the courage to do what I needed to while dressed and presenting myself female.

I'm sorry you didn't have that experience. I wish you could have just went there as yourself. It would have made you feel so much better, and the results of your divorce probably would have been exactly the same. I don't know about your state, but here in Michigan divorce is a "no fault" state. All the judge is concerned with is dividing up the property/assetts correctly. It's all split 50/50 no matter what the cause. So I knew I had nothing to lose by dressing and presenting myself as the woman I am. I wish it could have been that way for you.

Paulette

Good luck. Hope all goes well.

Shrlly