Printable View
I've come to realize that part of my battles with my gender identity have been that my father is a misogynist and my mother is a misandrist. My father is a very likable person who in some ways seems to truly care and love me more than my mother. How/why in the world would I want to be female given the hate I've been taught? At the same time, how can I feel comfortable in my birth gender given that my mom hates men? Does anyone else struggle with this in one form or another?
Likely because you were born with more femininity than most other males. I see a lot of threads and posts where the members related more to their mothers. Or grew up in a more feminine environment. It is not likely that that is the cause, only that it allowed them to figure out this part of them sooner. In my case, I was closer to my father then my mother. I never had a good bonding with my mother. While my father was not in any way a hateful man, he was a very typical man who grew up in the 40's and 50's. So, where did I get it from? birth is the only logical explanation for why I am the way I am.
Funny but our family joke is that the women in our family were all small breasted men hatters.... And I fit that description perfectly....
Nope, somewhere along the line my male half and my female half decided to stop fighting and joined forces. Works for me Hon. ;):)
Cici, you need to separate yourself from your parents' issues and realize that you are your own person with your own particular personality, beliefs, system of values, etc.
Hello Cici
It sounds to me that there is a lot of conflict between your parents. That is not a healthy or positive environment to grow up in.
Perhaps a qualified and licensed mental health counsellor can help you sort things out. I'm guessing here, but I suspect the gender identity is what therapists call a presenting issue. That means that is what brought you to therapy, but it isn't necessarily the real issue. In my case, the gender identity issue is a coping (escapist) mechanism for bullying, and has been for most of my life. The crossdressing is probably part of me now.
A consultation with your family doctor is an excellent place to start the process.