A chat with the therapist

Just one part of an all-round great day out today. We talked about my birth mother's recent passing, and how she is now at peace and free from suffering. Then, I asked her a very blunt question: "Because I crossdress, does that mean I'm ill?". We talked about how I first dressed when I was 12. She told me that things that go on at the time of puberty can often determine where our life goes from there. In my case, apparently crossdressing got "locked in" to some degree.

Bottom line: I'm not ill. Therefore, I can't be cured. :)

You're damn right you're not ill! Self-acceptance, actually more than that...was the first step in becoming my true self. Embracing my CDing has completely changed my life for the better and made me a much happier person!

I stumbled across this quote by author Alex Elle online, and it really resonated with me. "I'm not afraid of my truth anymore, and I will not omit pieces of myself to make you more comfortable". This is a piece of me. I will NOT omit it!

I started a new job early last year that allowed me to used headphones while I work. Instead of listening to music, I started bibliotherapy and became very interested in self-help books and literature about spiritualism. I also really found Taosim to be very influencial. Here's a quote I really like: "“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ~ Lao Tzu

Be yourself. Love yourself. Own it and all sorts of doors will open.

I've been crossdressing since I was 12 and like you, I think it's terminal.
Just told my therapist about being a CD today for the first time. Been crossdressing since I was 12 but feel like I've been a crossdresser all my life. I have a very strong feminine side. I'm only now just coming out and talking to others about it.
I really enjoy making myself look beautiful. I just have to learn to be able to accept myself for it.

Joanne, you're perfectly normal. Accept yourself. Embrace CDing. :)

I dont think you are ill at all. I think most of us have had that feeling at one point or the other though.

Joanne,
Do you want to be cured?
If so continue with the therapist.
If not......

I feel like I'm missing something... I should have a therapist..? (No: thank you, I'd rather have the money... :bonk:)
There are far worse things in life than wanting to make oneself look beautiful, dress as a female, or simply achieve some degree of personal satisfaction (!)... and that does not make anyone ill, sick or perverted!! :wall:
I like Amanda's quote - there's a lot that eastern philosophy can teach us about coming to terms with ourselves, unfortunately the western world is quite angst-ridden and materialistic: hard measures of success; you will fit in this square hole!
It's a shame that more professional therapists and counsellors don't support changing this but they all have one eye on their bank account...
And now that you know you're not ill - you can switch off therapy! :yahoo:
Katey x

Good quote Joanne. Thanks.

Just to clarify, I don't see the therapist on any sort of "regular" basis - I've been popping in on occasion as my late birth mother's mental health declined to get some understanding and perspective, and decided to go as Joanne! Judy is very supportive and very clear that it's not an illness, more of a "coping mechanism". At the end of the day, this is what I do, and the world will just have to learn to live with it!

Saw a therapist (at wife's urging) for over a year. $90 an hour to tell me I had to work on my (male) self-esteem problem. Said my femme side was result of Sarah having more self esteem than male side. I wish I had the $5 K back! I could buy a few pairs of C. Loubs!

Sorry Joanne, public apology for my rant! :surrender:
I was ranting about the profession overall - it's good that you've found someone supportive as I gather that's not always easy when Cding is involved.
And I like your approach and that quote too - we do often suppress parts of ourselves to compromise for others sake, and sometimes we can go too far. We all need a coping mechanism - I think this is for me too... :bighug:
Katey x

Couldn't say it better than Katey did!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Katey888

I feel like I'm missing something... I should have a therapist..? (No: thank you, I'd rather have the money... :bonk:)
There are far worse things in life than wanting to make oneself look beautiful, dress as a female, or simply achieve some degree of personal satisfaction (!)... and that does not make anyone ill, sick or perverted!! :wall:
I like Amanda's quote - there's a lot that eastern philosophy can teach us about coming to terms with ourselves, unfortunately the western world is quite angst-ridden and materialistic: hard measures of success; you will fit in this square hole!
It's a shame that more professional therapists and counsellors don't support changing this but they all have one eye on their bank account...
And now that you know you're not ill - you can switch off therapy! :yahoo:
Katey x

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I don't believe cross dressing is an illness. If you're going to a therapist to "cure" yourself, I think you're wasting your hard earned money. If you're going to resolve the conflict that may arise within yourself or with a spouse, then going may be beneficial. Sometimes it is necessary to have a third party mediator to resolve "issues."

Hi, I'm going to see a therapist next Monday for the first time. I'm hoping to find what's the best course for myself and my spouse. My wife goes to a therapist for her own issues and her therapist assured her CDing is not a mental illness.

I totally agree with Amanda's quote of Lao Tzu and I find myself the most content I've ever been. Jaymee

I am in therapy myself and occasionally discuss my crossdressing. My therapist encourages it because it is a stress reliever for me. However that is not the reason why I do. I have other issues that I am regularly hammering out instead.

I don't think going to a therapist is a waste. Granted, I don't have that much experience, but I will say that going to see a therapist when I did was very helpful. What I realize in retrospect was that the therapist was really just there to guide me into figuring out what I needed to. All the answers I sought actually came from within me.

Katey - we do not all have our eyes on our bank accounts! For MOST of us, the client's wellbeing is uppermost in our mindsw.