A block of drab

Sorry if this topic has been posted before, and I will admit I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself today but here goes. I am on the front end of a long dry spell of being able to dress up. Being married with kids it can happen at times and right now I am looking at 2 months of no Rachel - sigh. I try to do little things every day, here and there, to feel femme. I keep my body shaved, I go shopping, pluck my eyebrows, even working out to lose more weight and attempt to have a nice backside, but some days (like today) its not enough. How do you gurls handle times when there's too much drab?

underdress, even if its only knickers!

I know and sympathize - you do what you can - shop, underdress, goodwill and try on clothes, internet shop, daydream when you can----works for me:hugs:..............Debra

Nail polish does the trick for me.

Underdressing sometimes helps me at the beginning of a dry spell. More so, of I can shave my legs and wear really pretty hose or something under my work pants. However, after a while all it does is irritate me further ... like trying to only eat rice cakes at a steak and lobster buffet. A taste of honey is worse than none at all at that point :-/

Setting up a specific date that I know I will be able to dress, and then planning for it really helps to quell the desperation that sets in after a while. Going a week with no dressing can seem like an eternity when you don't know when or if you'll ever be able to do it again, but when you can count the days ... that makes the time fly, especially when you can plan outfits, go shopping in preparation, and plan your adventures.

Hang in there, girl!

I'm a runner. So wearing running tights when the weather was cold provided relief. I also wore them to the gym. Was one of the few guys there who Did.

Remember when the going gets tough the tough go SHOPPING !!! Sometimes it helps to look at pictures of myself dressed and know that I can do it again. Hugs Jaymee

Drop back twenty and punt usually. :heehee::)

I have long periods of drab. I find it helps that at the end of one I'm likely to get a few days of Jean at a time, and then back to drab, but at least it's a few days which I find does quench the thirst for a while. Then when the thirst starts to come back I can usually see ahead to the next opportunity and make plans, look at clothes I'd like to acquire and plan out my time. I do find that helps.

I have some time coming up next week which I've been thinking about for a month now - yes I am looking forward to it and yes I have bought some new clothes:)

I can relate to this totally, My favorite fix for not being able to dress is shopping also, there is also this fantastic forum or I'll look at my pictures and videos of myself or others on you tube or I sometimes under dress or I'll wear my tights for bed which this time of year is great as they keep you warm in bed and feel lovely!! Failing that I'll be thinking about next time I can be Michelle again.

I just did a short deployment in west Africa, it was supposed to be for six months but ended up being just less than half that time.
For me it was easy not dressing up for such a long time because I was in a totally different environment than the comfort of here at home; I will admit that I really really missed my high heels a lot.
Not sure if this helps any.

:)

I'm lucky if I get to fully dress 4 times a year. The resons are my wife and kids. When I start to feel sorry for myself (it does happen) I remind myself how lucky I am to have such an amazing family and the sacrifice is defiantly with it.

I haven't dressed fully for about three months now. Lots of work to do in my building site of a home, major restoration project blah blah. What with working away from home more and studying a bit in the evenings, my days are shot. However, I'm a complete under dresser, insofar that I wear knickers every day, with a nightie and dressing gown at night. Certainly eases the pain.

I can feel the angst starting to build by the day, so will be looking for a day out before too long.

Rebecca

I have at least two trips so far planned to just dress. That always eases the desire! In a perfect world I'd get girled up a few days a week when I come home, but the trips help me attempt to balance things.

Thanks for the suggestions and ideas. Yes shopping does help. I do underdress, but it can be a tease. It helps to know I'm not the only one. Just one of those days, maybe some wine will help. This forum does help so much and I am truly thankful for my life and all that I have. I do have a new pair of high heels coming in this week, I can wear those, while I work downstairs and stash them quickly if someone is coming. Suddenly things are better. lol Thanks again for the pick me up!

I underdress every day, then most of the time I paint my toenails.

I think under dressing is a good stabiliser for me.

Read a good book - Amazon has lots of great books with cross dressing themes, forced feminization, and transgender themes.
I'm particularly fond of Karin Bishop, Katie Leone, and Tanya Allen. Google also has a nice selection.

Read and post on BBS systems, helping others or reading what others are going through can often open new opportunities for yourself. Take a look at the loved ones forum or the transsexual forums. Again, this may expose you to new ways of communicating with your loved ones, resolving issues, or looking at where you might want to go. For many cross-dressers, dressing up is an expensive hobby than they enjoy for a few hours at a time or maybe for a week-end.

Write - sometimes putting your own feelings, frustrations, fears, hopes, dreams, and considerations can help you put your life into perspective.

Talk to a therapist. Are you just craving the excitement of a few hours in a dress, or is there some mild gender dysphoria? Talking with a therapist or counselor can often help you put things into perspective. They don't have to specialize in gender issues, but should have experience and current training in these issues.

Spend a night or week-end at a hotel. If your wife can't accept you dressing at home, then she may be more willing to accept that you need to spend one or two week-end nights per month as Rachel in an environment where it won't upset your wife or the kids.

Honesty is the best policy - if you are able. We have hundreds of fears and doubts and often create worst case scenarios about how people will react when they learn our little secret. If your hair is smooth, your brows are trimmed, and you are working out to tone rather than bulk up, then about the only person you are fooling, is yourself. I'm transgender and after I transitioned I went to college and high school reunions and NO ONE was surprised. I thought I had done such a good job of hiding, when all I had really done was cause people to be afraid to discuss my feminine nature with me.

Some of us have been pretty badly abused at times in our lives, especially in elementary school, around 6 to 12 years old. We were often mislabeled as "Sissy", gay, or perverted, because people didn't realize how we actually were different. Some people come to this site as cross-dressers and begin to discover and get in touch with the depth of their transgender feelings and dreams. In my own case, I knew I was transgender, and inter-sexed, but I had a hundred reasons why I couldn't or shouldn't transition, even though I wanted it desperately. I came to this site hoping to get some emotional support from other cross-dressers, but when I found the transsexual group, I began to see that not only was it possible for me to transition, but I got in touch with how much I wanted to transition, and began taking actions consistent with that goal.

I had settled for being a cross-dresser for almost 40 years, and often had to go months without being able to express Debbie anywhere. Now, my biggest regret is that I let myself be stopped from being so happy for so long.

Once you begin to decide where you really want to go, what you want from your marriage and your family, and confront the hard choices, the sooner you will be able to make the choices that may you truly happy.