Well my worst fear heppened.

I have always said I didn'the like to underdress in case something were to happen aka going to jail or the hospital. Well yesterday while out with a group of friends one of my friends decides he's going to shop lift a shirt. Well that didn't go as he planned. We all 4 went to jail. Now here I am. Luckily I had taken my makeup off before we left cause I had been running around with my face on for 4 or 5 days strait. But I was still underdressed. Completely underdressed. I had on booty shorts a tank. Some cute white lacy underwhere. Yes it sucked. Luckily I got released before they made me get in the orange jumpsuit. So I was saved by some grace of God but I was fixen to have to strip in front of officers while completely underdressed. I was tripping so hard. I was locked in there for like 5 hours. Shaved legs still had reminents of makeup under my eyes. I didn't know what I was going to do.

I would suggest that it's time to reassess your circle of friends and the direction you're heading, or this may not be the last time in jail.

I'm in agreement with Kim. I read your prior posts....young, married, newborn child. You're on your way to transitioning. You really need to evaluate your friends...like to do not need any that feel shoplifting on a whim is something to do for fun. You're going to find that there is something called "guilt by association." Just being with someone who decides to shoplift or car prowl will get you to jail as you found out. I'm pretty sure your identification has been entered into a computer database, and, the next time you're stopped for some reason this information will pop up. Youthful indiscretions have a way of following you around for a long time.

If you're still going to hang around with immature friends, I recommend skipping the under dressing.

If transition is your ultimate goal, then perhaps it's time to revisit and maybe redefine what constitutes your "worst fear." For most, transition is ridiculously hard, and requires full dedication and commitment to the future and working diligently towards making it happen. And it's no game. Folk who transition put everything on the line. They risk much. It takes lots and lots of hard work. Worrying about being busted by the cops while underdressed or having to unexpectedly see a doctor seems to me that you have your priorities and concerns all mixed up and out of whack. There are much more important things to consider and be concerned about as it relates to transition than those things. Just my opinion, fwiw . . . .

like the others have said its time to rethink your life and your so called freinds unless you want to spend
time in jail under dressed with BUBA

I'm not laffing at u, per se, Justice. Only your post! U seem so unconcerned about being booked by police. Yet, so worried they'd see u with women's things on!

Don't u follow media coverage? So many innocent people injured or killed by police while being taken into, or after being taken into, custody? And, u think cops that see the worst of the dregs of our society give a flying camel about your underwear?

2 words: Grow up!:brolleyes:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justice327

I have always said I didn'the like to underdress in case something were to happen,
I didn't know what I was going to do.

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Hi Justice, What you need to do is get some new friends ASAP .:daydreaming:

Yikes! I agree with the tone of replies in that you need to reconsider the friends you hang out with or at least be WAY more carefull 😯 Glad to hear it worked out this time though! ☺

Justice, you're wake up call just left and said good luck! You can do it, start with better friends and pay attention to what they have to say.

Those aren't friends trust me.
I had a friend like that we got busted for drinking and driving, drag racing,reckless driving tacked on there too.
His Dad came and bailed him out and I got to rot in jail for 4 days.
His Dad got him off all charges and I lost my DL for a year. Later he had the gall to call me up wanting to go out running around.I told him to FO and stay away from me.

Oh BTW I'm in Ky too.

you need to look for more friends some that are more trustworthy xx

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justice327

one of my friends decides he's going to shop lift a shirt.

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This is the point when you should have walked away.

Going to jail for whatever reason is not good. Unless you stay well away from this guy you might well be questioned if he is in more trouble.

What your wearing should not affect how your treated by the cops.

J:

Regarding who you socialize with...

An Ounce Of Prevention IS Worth A Pound Of Cure!!!

Should I repeat this?

DeeAnn

not too sharp there.

sue ellan

Being underdressed with traces of makeup should be the least of your worries. You now have an arrest on your record. This will affect your chances of getting a job, at least a good job. And this is for life.

I think everyone said it and I'll say it to, dump those friends and grow up. Save yourself while you still can.

+1, Anne.

Justice, at some level I don't care how you live your life. Or who your friends are. One can be trans and be or do anything that anyone else does. But I am surprised at your worst fear. For a lot of people, that would be figuring out that they are trans! Perhaps discovering a medical reason they could not take hormones. Having critical support they counted on collapse. Something like that.

But not fearing exposure of what you are. Sooner or later, you need to confront that. Maybe you're not ready now. Maybe you don't want to confront it. But as long as you do not, you are at risk of having additional experiences just like the one you had.

I agree with Anne and Lea on this one. I'm not going to focus on the quality of your friends issue (others have covered that just fine), but instead I want to address "your worst fear" part, which is the core of your story. Justice, I lived for almost 50 years in profound shame over what I mindlessly misconstrued to be an irresistible crossdressing habit, a truly deep-seated compulsion for me that grew into an overwhelming intensity over time. I was always afraid of being caught dressed in any way, certain I would face shame and humiliation. Ironically, now after I accepted myself at the start of 2015 as transgendered (and thanks to my therapist and my own release of my shame and denial), I realized I was transsexual, that shame is gone. What had been my life's greatest fear, the public discovery of my feminine self, is something I voluntarily imposed upon myself over the course of this year as I revealed my truth to friends, family and just recently, coworkers.

Part of this process of accepting myself was realizing I am not sick. I am not bad or evil. I am not a terrible, worthless person. I am just me -- Karen. My true self. That's it!

And for now, I have chosen to continue to dress as male at work for a little while longer (I need more time -- to benefit from HRT, laser and electrolysis, to work on my voice, to learn about applying cosmetics, work on my crazy hair, to gather a proper work wardrobe (with accessories, shoes, etc.), all of this and more to help me feel more comfortable with me living full-time as Karen in public). So, since I still now have to "crossdress as the guy I never was” while at work, I do choose to stay connected with my inner self by underdressing. But what's important here is that, as I accept myself, I don't regard this as wrong, or bad or evil. I regard it as natural for me. I am wearing the clothes in which I feel comfortable, natural and feminine. These are what I will wear for the rest of my life. It's no big deal anymore. It's not sexual in any way -- it's simply identity now. And if that fact was to be discovered, well, who cares? That boat has left the port, as everyone who matters knows, and I don't care what strangers think.

Indeed, my transition plan for work is to evolve my style and appearance over time through androgyny into femininity rather than the cold shock of a Hello, World! moment. Baby steps, but continuously moving forward.

So who cares what I wear underneath? It's no one's business, anyway. I am me, living my life as me as I follow my own meandering but steady course down my road of transition to living my authentic life. I'm taking strides every day to get me where I want to be so I can end the last charade on my terms and timeline, but at least the charade is now transparent, and I no longer live in fear. I am liberated from that terrifying prison cell.

Justice, I assume that your perspective in the original post was as a sister transwoman. Great! Wonderful! Please do yourself a huge favor -- stop being ashamed of yourself. That is why you fear being caught. When you accept yourself, then you own your life. You are free to live it, at least in ways that should be free of shame. I admit it took time for me to get over this, but it happened. I noted it at work one day when I was adjusting myself as I was finishing up in a men's room stall and quietly laughed that I was probably the only occupant of that stall to ever have to do all that. But in my chuckle to myself, I realized I had accepted this state as my true self, that the shame of it was gone, and I felt so much better. I truly hope you can find it in your heart to accept yourself and let the shame go down the drain, never to return.

Find peace with your life and you will be so much happier. Good luck, Justice.

Karen

I will only add one thing to everything else that has been said. Hire a good lawyer, and spend the money that the job is worth. Shop around town, do your homework on the interwebs, and find someone good. The worst sin a lot of middle class people commit is to cheap out on the lawyer, and why they will spend big money on houses, cars, doctors for their health but not on a lawyer when their reputation is at stake is beyond me.

But take this advice, get a good lawyer to clean up that bust and make sure it stays buried, or it will haunt you every time you apply for a job for the rest of your life.

OK let me clarify. My father is a very large and known business owner in the states of KY TN IN IL and MO so with me going to jail and releasing this It would ruin his life as he would say. My family is well known and it would kill his "prodigal" name. That's why I'm so worried about it. Yeah I know there is much worse than some punk cop seeing me underdressed. (Don't get me wrong I'm not a law breaker or against cops but let's wake up now not all are good cops and the ones in my town are crooked. Aka how I've gotten out of 5 speeding tickets all 25+ mph over with reckless and fleeing.) <-- very yound 16-18. The thing is the whole town not to mention probably western KY would've disowned me and my family. Because I live in a small town. Everyone has said. Oh now you have a rap sheet. Oh this. Oh that. I don't care about a rap sheet by the time I go to court it will be dropped I have no doubt. Lol I have a lawyer I am not some stupid person. I studied law in school. They have nothing against me. The only reason I say this is my worst fear is cause since I have came out my wife has left me. (2-3 months ago) all my friends have left except the one best friend that I've had for 7 years and have caught feelings for. I've already reached my worst fears in my life. I've lost anything. So I'm almost done with this site because obviously No one can relate. Because all I've gotten is hate. Yeah I went to jail. Yeah my friends suck. My friends might be thugs or whatever but my friends are friends. Not some punks that are like some other people's friends who won't stand up for you when shut hits the fan. Because mine have my back no matter. Just different generations and obviously I'm in the wrong one on this site. Because apparently this post should be in the Crossdressing forum even though I've been fully transitioned for 3 months now. Jesus. Someone make me want to stay cause I love this site but this has really upset me.

Not too sharp. Yeah cause I took my friends to McDonald's and when they asked to stop at the dollar store I did because they asked me too. I was on the opposite side of the store when they tried to shoplift. I didnt even know until i walked out the door and they were on the hood of my car in handcuffs. (Yea i didnt even walk out with them i walked out like 2 mins after they did once again having no clue what they were actually doing!) You know you'd think that people that are always judged wouldn't be so judgemental but yall are something else. You don't know me. You don't know what happened. God dammit I'm done. I'll go to reddit or something this is bull. Not too sharp. Really. OMG that's makes me so made. I am a rich kid that comes from a family that has more money than anyone else could ****ing imagine. I went to a private school for 11 years (yes I graduated a year early because I worked my ass off oh and I had a full time job at the age of 16 while going to school) then after those 11 years I studied law for 4 years. Ugh I'm so mad right now. I feel so disrespected because everyone thinks they know. Thanks for your opinions I don't agree with anyone's but the last two. All the rest put their focus on my friends and my criminal record and saying I'm not very sharp. Get off my post and don't come back. Because I graduated with a 3.9 gpa in high school and graduated with a 3.7 in college. If you want my transcript I will gladly send them too you. Lmao. Not too sharp........

Yep, you've got all the answers, don't you. You are the one who posted about this, you didn't have to. You posted a story and got responses. You didn't like the responses so now you are angry at those who responded in good faith. We were all young once and most of us did stupid things at some point. We have grown up and are trying to help you avoid some of the pitfalls we remember from our youth.

You will have to grow up at some point. You can do it the easy way or the hard way. Your choice.

Yep ... What Krisi said .
Did you really want people to be sympathetic or sugarcoat their responses ???????

No , I don't know you .... But I know this .... You are who you hang around with .
I'm not saying you are a shoplifter or even a bad person ..... But who your friends are is a direct reflection of yourself .... period

I have a tainted past myself , it has only made me stronger and given me a greater understanding ..... I am greatful of the lessons life has given me ....

Sure there were negative people , opinionated people ....

Growing as a person is the ability to sort thur all the bad and the good , while listening to it all ...... seeing both sides ...... understanding .....

Don't dwell on the "not to sharp" , and don't be so defensive towards the very people who took time to answer your post ..... no matter what their intentions .....

Good luck .... you are young .... your whole life is in front of you ....

Learn and understand :)

Sounds like someone is gonna learn the hard way.

Ok. We get it. You grew up as a privileged kid and we are all dumping on you. Bragging how much money you have, what a great student you were. None of that really matters. Who your friends are and whether or not they have your back is none of my business. What u will tell you is transition is hard. Damn hard. Running afoul of the law will only make it more challenging.

If your are that thin skinned to deal with criticisms on an internet forum. Your transition will be extremely difficult dealing with them face to face.

Or would you rather hear from us. You go girl. Continue to hang with individuals that will get you arrested. They are great to have your back. Do you think many of us haven't been down that road before. You may be surprised at the answers you get. You have a choice only you can make. Find better friends or be prepared to live life as a struggling Trans inmate.

You failed to supply ALL the information in your opening post, and then, because members offered their advice on YOUR supplied information, you slam them because it is not what you want to hear.

Your attitude towards the membership is totally out of order and will not be tolerated. Thread is now closed