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I've never thought much about the other direction but after a little research...WOW, FTM is very real...most notable I think is Buck Angel...that dude is more guy than I've ever even IMAGINED I was...ever! Point is, do you think it's easier to be FTM or MTF? I've seen a guy change from girl to complete guy in 12 mo but MTF...not quite?
Testosterone is a far more powerful hormone than estrogen. Even female body builders have irreversible facial changes when they use steroids. If the physical change was all there was to it, F2M have it far easier than M2F.
Both have there own challenges and a lot of the same ones. In general one is not easier than the other. Theres just so much more to it than the hormones.
I have noticed the FTM's I know gain a lot of weight in the belly .
This is not a simple question.
Clothing: For MtF's, being perceived as a dude in a dress can be dangerous and often has quite a lot of stigma. However, no one questions what you are trying to do - you are trying to present yourself as a woman. For FtM's, being perceived as a woman in men's clothes means - well not actually being noticed as a woman in men's clothes at ALL, most of the time. This is very hard for trans men, yes, it's great they can express themselves in clothing that matches their gender. Unfortunately, nobody notices. This theme of "invisible trans men" is one we'll come back to. I'm calling this a draw.
Prostheses, trans women need breastforms, or some other prosthesis. We also need to tuck. Trans men, on the other hand, wear a compression vest called a binder, to hide their breasts, and often wear a packer, giving them a bulge in their crotch. Binders have to be the most uncomfortable garment on earth, so in this case, I think trans women have it easier.
Regarding hormones, yes, T is very powerful, and because it deepens the voice, and causes facial and bodily hair growth, many trans men can take T and pass. Although I know some guys who aren't so lucky - not everyone has a heritage that lets them be hairy, and I know guys who's voice still falls into a feminine pitch range after they've been on T for quite a long time. Estrogen, on the other hand, will (sometimes) allow trans women to slowly grow breasts, gain a more feminine figure, soften the face, and reduce body hair growth. Unfortunately, it does nothing for the voice, or facial hair. Generally this is easier for the men - more men can do only hormones and begin to pass really well after a time. A lot fewer women fall into this category.
Facial hair / body hair removal - no analog for this for the guys. (Electrolysis is the worst thing ever.) Note: if the guy just has a heritage that isn't very hairy, they are going to have a much harder time passing, and there isn't much anyone can do to fix this. So it's easier for the guys - or they are just screwed.
Hair restoration - again, no real analog for this for the guys, although they might choose to do it if T makes them lose their hair. For women, well, we have to do something, even if it's just wear a wig. This is a non-issue for the guys.
Voice - T does the trick here for men. Oh, their speech patterns often leave them sounding like gay men. (Which may not be a problem, since some trans men are in fact gay.) For women, it typically takes months of practice to have a passable voice. Much easier for the men.
Top surgery. FtM's get a mastectomy, and nipple graft, plus sometimes some liposuction. This is more complex than MtF breast augmentation, which is more or less the same thing cisgender women receive, but our layer of muscle in our chest is typically thicker and harder to deal with. However, neither procedure is all that bad, both are pretty painful and somewhat disabling for a few months while the chest heals. The costs are usually comparable. Both often end up needing revisions over time. I think this is about even.
Facial surgery - not always needed for women, but often it is. Normally the guys don't even think about this. Score one for the guys.
Bottom surgery. As a transwoman, for ~$35,000 (less in Thailand), you can have typically a single operation, or possibly two, the second of which will be pretty small, and most of the time you'll end up with a realistic looking, sexually functional vagina. It won't self-lubricate. Neither will many cis women's, at least not sufficiently. The rate of success on vaginoplasty is ~90%. There can be complications, but in general, it just works most of the time.
As a transman, you have two choices for bottom surgery:
1. Phalloplasty. You can get an awesome looking penis with this procedure. You'll need multiple surgeries, revisions, muscle and skin grafts, and ~$50,000 - $150,000 for this to happen. And because you are talking grafts, building a urinary tract, and other complexities, these surgeries can have complications - there is a chance the guy will not be able to have an orgasm, for example. (This is much less common now than it used to be.)
2. Metoidioplasty. Under the influence of testosterone, the clitoris of many trans men grows substantially. It's possible to surgically release the muscles that hold it, which when coupled with other surgical procedures yields a realistic looking, but typically small, penis. It is possible to stand to pee with some variants of this technique. Some of them can later be converted into a full phalloplasty. Typically this surgery is ~$18,000, which is a lot more realistic for many to afford. But it still tends to be quite small. The risks of complications are very low with this procedure. There's just less going on.
There's no question in my mind that bottom surgery for trans women is just much easier than it is for trans men. As one surgeon put it "it's easier to dig a hole than to build a pole..."
In the trans world, the men tend to be short, and the women very tall. A photo of a group of trans men and women is often a little odd looking because of this.
In terms of physical medicine, guys tend to need to less of it to pass, but if they want genital surgery, their options are typically a lot worse than those of trans women. I suspect that a fairly high percentage of trans women would get GRS if they could afford it. A much lower percentage of trans men get it, primarily because the tradeoffs of size, surgical complications, cost, etc. are really tough. At the very least, men tend to place a lot of importance on their penises. So imagine life as a man who doesn't have one. This is tough.
I'm not going to talk about the social aspects of transition - those are also complex and not totally clear cut. I will say that one issue is that visibility is an issue for trans men. A lot of people don't understand that trans men exist. Unfortunately, some of those people work in medicine, and their ignorance of the health needs of trans men kills an awful lot of them. (Imagine a clinic that treats gay men as if they were at the same risk of HIV as gay women. That's how trans men are treated. And it kills plenty of them.)
Great response Paula.
Clothes:
Transwomen can be perceived as men in dresses, which is dangerous and stigmatized, but accepting people recognize us as transwomen and treat us accordingly.
What this means for us transwomen, at least as long as we don't pass? The accepting, polite, and politically correct ones, will gender us as women, because they recognize us as women even though they see the male features or behaviors. The unaccepting ones will mock, stare at, misgender us, and sometimes harm us.
Yeah, the trans men can easily wear men's clothes to match their gender. Unfortunately they're not perceived as men until they pass with hormones. They're just perceived as women wearing men's clothing, which has far less stigma than a dude in a dress.
What this means for transmen, as long as they don't pass? The unaccepting ones are much fewer and generally won't care. The rest of the population - the trans accepting, polite, and politically correct ones, will simply see them as very very butch women and still gender them as women. But the odds of being stared at, mocked, or harmed are slim.
Hormones & surgeries:
I agree that it's easier for transmen on average to pass as men with hormones alone, while transwomen usually require electrolysis and/or laser, and often we require FFS and/or breast augmentations. Transmen also generally pass much quicker on T. Many transmen are passing within a year on T. Lucky transwomen are passing within 18 months on HRT, it often takes 2-3 years of HRT to pass. And it often takes FFS and other surgeries.
Breasts:
I've never worn a binder, but I have worn breast forms and my boyfriend, who is a transman, has worn a binder. I have never had any trouble or pain wearing breast forms. My boyfriend finds binders to be not only uncomfortable, but he has gotten heat rashes during really hot weather. He suffered frequently with heat rashes last year during May, June, and July, until I finally offered him a cooling cloth which kept him cool. Lucky he got the cooling cloth, because August and September are even hotter than May-July. I never suffered any heat rashes from breast forms, and I didn't require a cooling cloth.
Btw, I got the cooling cloth a couple of years ago after my neighbor recommended them to me. I hardly ever used it, but I am so glad I was able to give it to Cody to keep him cool.
Socialization:
Transmen often present as men at younger ages than transwomen and can unlearn female behaviors and learn male behaviors much sooner than we do. So transmen often integrate socially better than we transwomen do. A huge part of passing is your behavior, mannerisms, way you walk, and attitudes. Because transmen get more practice sooner, these aspects often come easier to them than they do to us.
Gender bias:
This is a whole other story. To make a very long story short, I believe it's easier to pass as male for two reasons.
1. If there is a doubt whether someone is male or female, the default is to gender you as male. If you accidentally call a woman sir, she may either feel it is a compliment because she was seen as having male privilege, or will feel insulted but will probably just walk away feeling hurt inside. She probably won't get violent. If you accidentally call a man "she", "ma'am", or a girl, if you do that to the wrong man, he might lash out with violence. Probably safer to err on the side of gendering people as male.
2. Females undergo much more scrutiny than males do. If the initial glance you get read as male, chances are that's the end of the conversation. Welcome to the brotherhood!!! If the initial glance you get read as female, you will be scrutinized by men who see us as sex objects, and sometimes by women as well who may be interested in what we are wearing. And upon this scrutiny phase we often get clocked. So we have to pass two phases to get read as female. If we don't get clocked during the first phase, we may get clocked during the second phase. This creates a much higher standard of passing for women than for men. So a short, feminine looking man with a few whiskers passes easier than a tall, masculine looking woman does
All in all, in many respects we have a lot in common with cis-people on certain issues.
Men have it easier socially than we do. Being a woman socially is WAY tougher than being a man. Women deal with way more bullshit from both men and women alike, and transwomen have a much harder time passing than transmen do.
However, women have the upper hand in sex. Women can choose to withhold sex, and transwomen have a better chance at getting the right genitals.
The ironic part is that sex and the penis is more important to men (trans & cis), yet it is tougher for men to get what they truly want. It is tougher for men to get sex, and tougher for transmen to get their penis.
For women, social aspects of life are generally more important than sex. Yet we as transwomen have a harder go at the social transition and at passing as women.
This is a cruel joke of nature. Each gender in a way gets what the other gender values more. I hope I make sense here.
okay, I'm going to weigh in here. Our former daughter, now son, is F2M, and it was ZERO problem for her to become him, nor for his partner, also F2M, though then neither has elected surgery yet. They have lived as males now for 4 years, get called "son" in shops, "guys", "lads", and so on. Yes it is invisible and therefore safe and comfortale.
Within our own house now there is me. Whereas our son knows he is a male in a female body, as does his partner, I've no idea, I'm not sure. The reaction is massively different. I'm not allowed outside the front door (unless its quick or dark or in another town/city), the in-laws are not allowed to know, and so on.
The question as to who has it harder emotionally and mentally is simple: the M2F does. I cannot answer for the surgical/TS side.
Paula's got the best summation. However, the most important thing we have to remember, is it's all perspective, and it's different for everyone. Some people are just better at adversity than others, and can deal with problems as a simple small hurdle in life. Others fall apart at what might seem to others as insignificant problems, such as, oh, 'not having anything to wear' when in fact the closet is full. I for example, have a constant underlying feeling that I'm female, and a desire to be one. But it's derived from associated other problems that are expressed by transgender desires, so I know it's not TS. Still, it's enough to make me uncomfortable, which might make me very sad. However, I do my best to remember that these problems are nothing compared to what much of the world's population faces, living in war zones getting shot at and having bombs dropped on them, not having clean water to drink, not enough food, just surviving is a struggle. Or the lives of women in some countries for example where they mutilate their genitals, and even teaching a female to read is a crime, or where women are considered the property of the male of the family and rape is technically 'legal'. Or how about places where the population is basically enslaven by drug or diamond lords with no hope of escape, ever.
In contrast, my little transgender problems are nothing. So I enjoy the good parts of my life, instead of dwelling on the bad. I don't know who wrote it first, but, here:
Instead of feeling bad because of all the things that you want that you don't have, consider too all the things that you DON'T WANT, that you don't have to deal with.
As much as I would like to be a beautiful girl with a great figure, nice hair, etc., I try to remember:
I don't have asthma. I don't have terrible allergies. I don't have liver, kidney, heart failure. I don't have alzheimers (yet, but I might and simply don't remember!). I'm not in a huge pile of debt. I don't have anyone hunting me down to kill me. I don't have alimony or child support payments. I don't have any crippling injuries.
In contrast, some guy living in a dirt floor hut in a third world country will look around, and see that he has shelter, a clean stream only half a mile away to get water, that also has plenty of fish to eat in it, and think he has it pretty good.
And as much as a FTM wants to be tall, handsome, and normal male genitals, he may feel better just being happy that he can take 'T' and live most of what a male's life is, while knowing that for his FTM counterpart, 'T' causes some irreversible changes that make her life more difficult in other ways.
Life is pretty good. It all depends on how you look at it.
Good post sometimes miss! I love your perspective, I reflects reality 😙