Because!!

When we were children, one of the most frustrating moments was when we asked our parents why we couldn't do something, only to be given the answer "because". If we tried to say "but why?", we were told either "just because" or "because I said so". But sometimes, because is the only possible answer to the question "why". Crossdressing might be a case in point. Why is always a double question. Are we asking about the cause or the effect. When people ask "why do you crossdress" are they wanting you to explain the inner workings of the mind and brain that makes us be crossdressers, or are they asking us what we derive out of crossdressing that brings us fulfillment, satisfaction or pleasure?

There are numerous theories about the causes of crossdressing, but do we really know which ones might or might not apply to us? Or do we simply accept the most logical sounding one and assume that it must be the cause of our crossdressing. On the other hand, most of us can itemize the effect upon us of our crossdressing because we sense and feel the impact. But how do we articulate the effect to others, who have no basis for evaluating such effects, if they are not themselves crossdressers. Further, when we try to explain where we stand on that spectrum between crossdressing and transitioning, and what term should be used to describe us, are we basing the answer on cause or effect?

Whenever people enquire about the "why" of one of my other interests, such as model railroading, it is almost a given that they are enquiring about effect and not cause. I am never in the awkward position of having to explain what aspect of my psyche, my mind or my personality (i.e. my brain) causes me to be a model railroader. Why I do it can always be described by the various forms of satisfaction that I derive from it. The same is true of almost all my activities.

Cause is of importance in scientific matters and may or may not outweigh the effects. However, with science we are usually dealing with factors that can be quantified or itemized or observed. Human behaviour is extremely subjective and not so easily analyzed. The "why's" are very blurry at best. And that is why I have decided that henceforth, whenever anyone wants to know why I crossdress, the answer is going to be "because". If they persist it will become "just because" and if that is not sufficient it will be "because I said so".

Veronica

Some people ask, ‘How far away are the stars?’ whilst others say, ‘Don’t worry yourself about that. Just enjoy the beauty of the night sky’. The same applies to crossdressing. Many of us want answers as to why we CD or what initially caused us to start (and continue) CDing. Others are not bothered about looking for answers but simply CD and enjoy it. Part of the reason we give up looking for answers is simply because there aren’t any. At least not ones that can be applied across the whole spectrum of CDers. Each person is different. What causes one person to CD doesn’t necessarily apply to the next person.

So then comes the problem of explaining something to someone else. In my experience, I’ve found that the level of understanding of something is usually related to the person’s overall intelligence. Most intelligent people, whilst not necessarily agreeing with a particular activity take the view that if it makes you happy and does not have a negative impact on others (or isn’t illegal) then carry on doing it. Unfortunately, there is another group of people that, no matter how much you try to explain to them, still cannot understand why you do something that they can’t relate to. I’ve sometimes found myself saying to them ‘tell me the answer you want me to give!’ to which even THEY can’t answer.

Psychiatrists and psychologists have been trying to get to grips with the workings of the human mind for decades and even they struggle to come up with satisfactory explanations. Still, it shouldn’t stop us from looking.

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Originally Posted by Veronica27

And that is why I have decided that henceforth, whenever anyone wants to know why I crossdress, the answer is going to be "because". If they persist it will become "just because" and if that is not sufficient it will be "because I said so".

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.. is one approach :) and would probably be fine for many.

But we do something that deliberately transgresses social bounds and my developing belief of why we do that is because all of us have a dodgy 'gender compass' - the part of our persona that says "be feminine/be masculine" - and the most significant way we have of expressing those periods when the needle flips as we experience a localised, masculine anomaly (TMA-01 or Trans-Masculine Anomaly, for fans of Arthur C. Clarke ;)), is to present as female. A deliberate, provocative statement of the conflict inside of us, expressed visibly to the world in general... Now, some normal folk may accept 'just because', but many won't - some because they want to understand; others because they will just never accept - and for those that try to grasp 'why', I think we should try to help them grapple with it the same way that some of us do.. :)

And Cheryl's right that we're all individuals and have our own subtly different and unique motivations for why we do this, and I think this is right too:

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Originally Posted by Cheryl_Layton

Psychiatrists and psychologists have been trying to get to grips with the workings of the human mind for decades and even they struggle to come up with satisfactory explanations. Still, it shouldn’t stop us from looking.

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It won't stop some of us from looking, for sure - those that are happy to just immerse themselves and not question can just get on with it - good luck to them... What differentiates them from us is what has divided humanity for quite some time: some of us won't stop asking why, and it's the willingness to pursue knowledge that will eventually lead to a better understanding of this condition.

Unfortunately, "just because" is a long established, parental cop-out and this really is no different, but it's a choice... personally, I'd like to try and give people some idea of the stress, anxiety, guilt, fear, confusion and pain that this condition can sometimes elicit, and why it remains a conundrum even to those of us that experience it... :thinking:

Katey x

Hi Veronica,:hugs: It's just who I am, And it's just what I want to do !

See line #1 in my signature.:daydreaming:

below is a link to a website addressing 12 theories of "why?" for therianthropes (includes "furries" and related "friends")

http://www.therianthropes.com/theria...y_theories.htm

I have, from my own psychological theory, an explanation for why there is a possible rightness for every one of the theories, because we're the most complex things in the universe (that we have so far discovered), with 3 billion genetic base pairs giving rise to more possible genetic variations than grains of sand in the sea.

As to our crossdressing, every therianthrope theory can apply, and we can add a whole load of sexually-related possible reasons. So you could just pick a theory, you can sure say "because" and annoy the hell out of the person, or you can honestly say "i don't know why, I just do".

The problem with the 'because' answer, is that it's not an answer. People need an answer to their questions. If one is not supplied, they will create one themselves, and you are probably not going to be happy with that answer. Because right now, the most common answer the the general public have when the question is raised 'why do you wear women's clothing', is that you are either homosexual (about oh, 95% thought that until Caitlyn came out), or transsexual. I'm guessing that now it's about 50-50. Thanks, Caitlyn.

I hope you will be happy with being thought of as one of those two descriptions.

I firmly believe the why about the cause has to do with this being so odd compared to the mainstream hobbies. They don't ask what causes you to want to work with model trains because it is more accepted.

I have started to realize that perhaps giving answers to people when it comes to me being transgender really comes down to this is the way that I am and to not question it and because my parents always used because as a child perhaps that is the same outlook I should have with people that do not understand why or how I am transgender I can just return with because that is who I am and not get deeper into it and just leave it as that. In this day people can get all the knowledge they want about certain things by just looking online and that is what I will tell people for now, just look it up online and when they ask why I will just say 'because' lol

I think what you're expressing is frustration that you can't come up with an answer. I understand that. You don't have to have an answer. You don't have to respond to people who demand you give them an answer. You can just be.

In the mean time, some folks are looking for an answer and, hey, they might find one. Or several. I can't say that giving no answer is a good answer, but I'm pretty sure it's better than a wrong answer (and I've seen a lot of those advanced.)

Oddly enough, no one has ever asked me that question. But I've often thought about what I'd say if they did. I think I'd probably deflect the question by answering why I chose the particular outfit I was wearing. And if forced to answer the original question I'd say something like "Because I want to."

I still have an academic curiosity about why I have the desire to crossdress, but no longer accompanied by "why am I broken?"

Veronica, I heard this once (but not my personal experience):
"Dad, can I borrow the car?"
"No."
"Why not?
"Because I'm your father."

(Well, as long as there's a good reason.)

In philosophy, the best answer to "Why?" is "Why not?" I see no reason why that shouldn't be the case here. We should never have to answer for our clothing choices. I know the world is not there yet, but let's keep pushing in that direction.

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies to my original post. While they all either explain or sum up the feelings I was presenting, I think the prize has to go to Suzanne's "why not". It is short, very succinct and turns the conversation into a challenge to the questioner to defend a somewhat untenable position.

I must confess that "why do I crossdress" is not a question that I have had to explain in real life other than to my wife. While it has not been without its doubts and further questions, I have been fortunate to be married to a woman who has a desire to understand the phenomenon and not be judgemental. The only people who have ever seen me crossdressed, besides my wife, were other crossdressers at the events I have attended and complete strangers that I have crossed paths with at those events (not counting a few Halloween sightings). My post was directed more inwardly to myself as I am plagued by an overly inquisitive nature about such things, and if I am not stopped in my tracks, will expound on my various theories at great length now that we have the resources of the internet on which to vent. My current opinions have been a long evolutionary process, and if I look back at past ramblings, I sometimes wonder where those ideas came from. So every so often, I stand back to ask myself "why", not about my crossdressing, but about my obsession to find out "why". Suzanne answered for me.

Thanks everyone

Veronica

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Originally Posted by Cheryl_Layton

Some people ask, ‘How far away are the stars?’ whilst others say, ‘Don’t worry yourself about that. Just enjoy the beauty of the night sky’.

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Because I am me.
:)

I'm with you on this one Veronica. I have a feeling that the answers will be elusive. Some ideas may make sense for a bit then evolve into something new. In any case I have the same apetite to understand myself in a way that I hope to be able explain myself to others. I have an urge to hear spmeone say back to me, "OK I get it." It's a search for self validation on my part and I have a feeling I'm going to find it someday but in an unexpected way. This search is fun though. :)

I like the idea that if asked then a true reply is needed. It really becomes one of those rare opportunities to educate one more of the un-educated. Why do I crossdress? - I really do not have a clear answer. Why do I continue to crossdress? - Because it brings me great joy feels right!

Thats as simple as it gets Alice_2014_B and I agree with you totally