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Hi I have a hard time letting my emotions go and wondered how everyone elses deals with them? I usually bury them deep down, but lately I just want to let them out. Been thinking about trying to watch every sad movie on the planet to help get those emotions to the surface.
Be careful what you ask for. When I went on a journey of self discovery, reading lots of young adult books geared towards adolescent females, some of them brought a lot of memories back, bringing me to tears more often than I would like to admit. And it left me more prone to breaking down and crying at emotional events, both happy and sad. I wasn't able to hold back my feelings well anymore. Up to this day, I have to be careful what I watch and whos' around. Men still aren't kind to other men who cry. A lot of women aren't comfortable with it, either. If I'm going to an event (wedding, funeral, movie that I know will trigger me,) sometimes I intentionally watch stuff that will induce the tears so that I will have cried myself out by the time I have to go. Even then, I can't prepare for everything. During one trip to Manhattan, I had to walk through the World Trade Center Memorial area; when I got to the ponds, what were the chances? I walked right up to the name of someone I knew who died that day in tower 1. It took me almost half an hour to get myself back to normal. Since then, I will walk several blocks out of the way to avoid that area.
Like Lexi said be careful, letting your emotions out is healthy, but if your not use to it it can be difficult to control. I bought into that whole men don't cry thing and like you mentioned I too bottled up everything deep down inside me. I am a heart person, very sympathetic, but you would not know that from meeting me or knowing my life. I kept it contained quite well up until lately. Now in my later years and perhaps also because I have decided to explore my softer side, It has come out and at times without limits or warning. I can be watching something happy and for no apparent reason, just start crying. I can just be sitting and all of a sudden just feel sad. When I'm in a safe place it can be a very good and satisfying feeling, but it has hit me when I am around others, which means biting my lower lip and quickly excusing myself to a bathroom then making a dumb excuses when I return. "OH man got something in my eye,wow that hurt..." Just a clue, you can not force them.
I have learned to let my emotions out, be they on my own, to a family member, therapist, or even journaling my feels has been very helpful. If you repress your feelings usually they blow up, likely when you don't want it to.
There are other emotions besides sadness.....
I think they are all worth exploring. I have never been one to hide from my emotions. Sure I pick and choose who I will share what with, but the point for me is not hide them from myself. As long as I am being honest with myself, that to me is what really matters.
I didn't have any emotions until I came to terms with my dressing. being in touch with your feelings and emotions is a good thing, more men should do it.
Thank you all, Latley when I see something on tv or hear about something tearjerking i feel myself well up then i shut it down and shove it down to my stomach. I know i need to care of my emotions better. I am going to attempt to try and induce some crying soon with some tearjeking movies, any suggestions?
The Notebook is always a solid tearjerker. Anything by Sparks, really.
Once I also came to terms with who I am was when I started to let my emotions out somewhat. Her took care of the rest. Now I sometimes cry for no reason and then I'm all better. Everyone is different in handling their feelings. Even though I am a much better person now then what I use to be, it's still a pain sometimes, especially in the wrong place and time. Best wishes to you Devin
Devin,
Letting your emotions out has to happen sometimes, you can't keep them bottled up indefinitely ! Do try and pick your times and who you share them with, some people won't react the way you wish and that can be a setback which may bring on bouts of depression. If you've never lived with that try not go down that road, it's harder to get out of that rut than entering it.
Emotions are a hard thing to control and no two people are the same so you need to figure out what works for you.
I really don't think anyone can tell you how to do it.
I don't even have to watch a sad movie to start crying, uplifting feel-good movies are just as likely to set me off.
It's interesting Devin that you are so aware of what's going on, that you know how near you are to letting the feelings out. Is it that you're afraid of acknowledging that you've been hurting for so long? Your tummy must be looking forward to letting go!
Good luck to you,
Hugs, Nikki
I wouldn't stress over it, I know it's not good to keep them in but they will come out when you're ready.
I've always had trouble keeping my emotions in (both man and female mode) I cry at every sad event, movies , just thinking about warm and happy events. The day of my sons college graduation, I cried like a baby. Why, I don't know.
I do believe it has to do with ones mental state. There is a fine line between keeping emotions in and letting them out. Or as they say, wearing your heart on your sleeve.
If we play the role, it's best to go with the flow (of emotions) I figure. It can actually help us to be more compassionate. :battingeyelashes::)
Hi Devin,
I think that Tracii's absolutely right that this is a different story for everyone... different reasons, personalities, circumstances... :hugs:
I've found that keeping a journal (not necessarily every day) of significant feelings, thoughts, events, decisions, etc. often helps feelings to gel; to become substantial - and writing things down somehow helps make it more real... Just make sure you keep it locked away... ;)
Movies can be great facilitators: Nikki's right about happy tear-jerkers too... 'Love Actually' always gets to me... as does 'Leaving Las Vegas' - although it's definitely a bit darker... 'Life of David Gale' is good too... :)
Or you can just have a vent here with us - hopefully you'll get a little empathy as many of us may well have felt the same sort of feelings...
Katey x
PS. Oh! 'Silver Linings Playbook' is an outstanding film too... :)
emotions are gateway triggers to reconnect to older, lost aspects of self. if you learn to go through their layers, one after the other, you can not only release them, but also bring yourself to a greater sense of oneness, peace and joy.
I am very emotional and you know what......I don't care. I cry for sad things and happy things too. I think that is the Bree side of me but then I think, I am just like that, have always had a big heart, but I seem to get more emotional about things as I get older.
Hugs,
Bree :)
I find it pretty easy to let things go so it's no big deal with me. I say step back and say f&%@ it.:hugs:
Angie