Thoughts from a newbie.

Hello,

I'm 46 years old and a new cross-dresser. Yesterday was my first day totally dressed(dress, shoes, makeup, wig). Even though my makeup looked beyond awful, I really enjoyed myself--more than I could have imagined. It wasn't so much the sexual turn on that I thought it would be, but it was very fun and exciting. Anyway, I thought that I'd share a few thoughts with the forum.

I've thought about what it would be like to dress for many years. But, I never really thought that it was something that I'd actually do. I'm not sure what lit the fuse after all these years. Mid-life crisis? I don't know. But, I do hear a clock ticking louder and louder. There are things that I need to get done.

One of the reasons that I thought that I would never actually dress was buying the clothes and accoutrements. I never thought I would have the nerve. Well, it was much easier then I imagined. The sales associate at the Payless was nice and pretty helpful. I was trying the shoes on so there was no question who the ladies size 12's were for. She didn't bat an eye. She even suggested the little socks/liners when I was checking out.

Funny thing at Target, I thought that I'd just use the self-check out. When I got to the registers, I noticed that the self checks out were closed. Oy. The cashier gave me a little bit of a look as I bought a bra, panties, and all of my makeup. But, she didn't say anything. So, could have been worse.

One thing I'll need to be careful of, I can see buying clothes getting addictive. I want to walk out of every store with a shopping cart full of dresses.

On a different topic, I'm the type that has a lot of difficulty smiling for pictures. But I took several pictures of myself while dressed last night and I couldn't stop smiling. Great, big, ear-to-ear smiles at that. I can't remember the last time I've enjoyed myself so much.

I'd love to go out dressed. I'll need to solve a couple of problems first. One, I'll need to get the makeup down better. Right now, I look like Betty Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Also, I'll need to figure out how to get out the door without the neighbors spotting me. There are about 20 apartments and everyone can see everyone else's front door.

Well, there are some random thoughts. Thanks for reading.

~Julie

Welcome to this wonderful world, and the forum, Ms. Julie!
When you are ready, we'd love to see some pictures.
Congratulations on in person shopping so early on. I'm still strictly an online shopper. I hope to venture out in the next few months, but it's the closet for me for now.

Cool story and I enjoyed reading how much you enjoyed the dressing. Yes it is very addicting and can control your life if you let it. Some seem to need it more than than others and carry it to the extremes. I'm more of a need to dress after an amount of time has passed. I then dress and usually will dress, get the itch and dress again the next day. It is very enjoyable and can relieve daily stress, but can add to your stress level when you don't get to dress for a period of time. Enjoy it and have fun.

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Originally Posted by Ms.Julie

On a different topic, I'm the type that has a lot of difficulty smiling for pictures. But I took several pictures of myself while dressed last night and I couldn't stop smiling.

I'd love to go out dressed. I'll need to solve a couple of problems first. One, I'll need to get the makeup down better. Right now, I look like Betty Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.
Well, there are some random thoughts. Thanks for reading.
~Julie

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Welcome to the forum rookie :heehee: *says the gal who's been dressing all of about a year*

i was just like you when I first in regards to my smile. I couldn't hold it back which is weird because in guy mode I normally have a resting bitch face. : )

About learning makeup... YouTube tutorials have been my friend. I have watched hundreds of hours of tutorials from the young women, older women, male makeup artists, drag queen tutorials and guys giving man-makeup tutorials. I've learned a lot from there and I bet you can too.

Hugs, Sayyidah

Thanks, Chelsea. I'll definitely post some pictures when I'm ready. Your mileage may vary, but, shopping in person is not as bad as you think. Give it a try!

Thanks again.

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Thanks, Sayyidah. Yes, I've watched YouTube makeup tutorials, as well. Not enough hours yet, but I've watched GG's, TGs, etc. They make it look SO easy, but it's not. I didn't expect it to be a cake walk, but I didn't expect it to be so difficult, either. Plus, if you make a mistake, correcting it is near impossible. I'll keep watching tutorials.

Thanks again.

I like shopping at Ross,and Walmart self check out is awsome.

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Originally Posted by Ms.Julie

One thing I'll need to be careful of, I can see buying clothes getting addictive. I want to walk out of every store with a shopping cart full of dresses.

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Ah yes, one of the early signs that you may be gradually turning into a female. You've activated the 'shopping gene'; it is thought that it regulates the fun hormones which cause an intense need to buy pretty things; It's often enabled by the pink virus, which hides in the pink fog. Once turned on, there's no known way to turn it off. I think it's some kind of positive feedback loop or something. Nearly all of us here are infected with it. Run! Save yourself (and your credit cards).

Hi, Julie! I have been at it for about a year or a little more!! Yes when the pink moves in the green goes out!! LOL On make up, I am going for a transformation and with it a makeup lesson(4 hours!)! It is expensive! I believe it will be more individualized to me(the makeup) and will move me on my journey a bit faster. Lesson is from a transgender female who is a makeup artist and does wedding makeup as well!! I am not getting any younger and this should help!! It is an option you could explore!! Best wishes Hugs Lana Mae

Miss Julie,

Welcome to the forum, I guess your dressing is better late than never but you're making some headway quickly and enjoying it, so good to hear that.

I must admit if I can't dress I shop and that can be a lot of fun, I've had some great moments with SAs. Don't try and rush getting out the door, get makeup and your look sorted first, when it come to it you'll figure a way to slip past the neighbours, or get to the point where I have where you realise it doesn't matter but one step at a time, especially if you bought some heels !

Welcome, Julie. I started at age 50+ and blame hormones. Both mine changing and the meds I began taking for my prostate issues.:brolleyes:

But, as u can see, I've come a long way in 20 years. Hope u enjoy your fem journey as I have mine!:battingeyelashes:

Sometimes_miss is so right. I went to Walmart this afternoon to get something for dinner and a bilge pump for my boat. I saw a really cute pink skirt and bought it, a pink top on sale for $2, a plaid 3/4 sleeve top to go with the skirt and a dress. I also got some womens body wash cuz 1 or 2 different scents isn't enough choice for me.

I haven't gone all out and been out in public fully dressed except out riding at night but I did wear a stuffed bra under my tee shirt, my wig and womens sunglasses when driving to our other house yesterday. Probably made someone do a double take if they noticed my mustache.

Anyway, welcome. You're in the right place for anything concerning crossdressing.

Liz:battingeyelashes:

As for that problem of getting out without your neighbors seeing, trying getting at least partially dressed at home, and then putting on some loose male garments over that. Sweatpants will still fit over hip and butt pads. And if the weather is cool enough, you can wear a loose jacket over an amply filled bra and feminine top, and unless you come very close-up to someone, the breasts won't be all that noticeable. You can use a bag to carry a wig and whatever garments you can't easily hide under your loose-fitting male clothes. If it's night, you can probably get away with putting on makeup at home too--no one is likely to notice it as you move briskly toward the car. Once you're safely in the car, and have driven to a secluded place, you can add whatever you were afraid to do at home--your wig, and a skirt or dress, for example, your high heels if that's your thing, and some finishing touches to your makeup.

Welcome home thats what it feels like to me. your home girl COOL!:cheer:

Welcome to the sorority, dear. :)

I also started fairly late in life - at 56 in my case. That was about two and a half years ago... My closet now has far more women's clothing and shoes than men's attire. Same for jewelry and accessories, and cosmetics/bathroom supplies... And wigs... So many of them!

Oh yes, it is quite addictive, and if you enjoyed your first time as much as you say, it's not likely to go away. Buckle your seat belt and enjoy the ride, dear.

On a serious note:

Yes, it can be hideously easy to find yourself spending far too much money on clothes, shoes, cosmetics, wigs, breast forms, hip pads, jewelry and more... Set a budget and stick to it, trying to only spend as much as you can afford for this new 'need' in your life. Consider it an entertainment expense, as it makes you happy. :) Or a medical expense, if it helps keep you sane.

If you aim to go out in public, I'd advise a good wig, breast forms, and hip pads as starter necessities. They will do wonders for altering your appearance to a degree that even your neighbors might assume you're a visiting female friend of your male self.

Every cosmetics maker has tutorials on their websites for how to use their products. Study them, and practice until you feel you can create a passable result. It need not be perfect! Just a good basic attempt to get you out the door.

Cosmetics remover wipes help a lot, both for fixing mistakes and for changing back to male mode after doing makeup. There are several makers. Try more than one brand, as they are not equal in quality or effectiveness. Three or four wipes in a sealed zip lock baggie in your purse can give you a fast way to revert to male appearance if needed.

There are also free you-tube tutorials and for-pay courses available on line that teach males how to do a passable female voice. Well worth a few months' effort to attempt them.

Wig shops are happy to deal with us, and will often have private consultation areas where you can try on the feminine wigs without anyone but the sales associate present. You can get good starter wigs on-line from places like the Paula Young catalog, but there is no substitute for an in-person fitting at a wig shop.

If you can get up the courage to get to a mall in your best attempt at a female presentation, or even if you go in male mode, make an appointment for a 'makeover' at a cosmetics store like Sephora or MAC. Let them know you are a male crossdresser who wants to learn how to apply feminine makeup. The cosmeticians at those larger cosmetics stores are usually quite happy to help a male learn to apply feminine makeup, and they won't be at all judgemental. You certainly won't be the first of us they have dealt with. I know at Sephora's larger mall stores, they will do a full makeover for free, and teach you just how to do it yourself, if you purchase at least $50 worth of cosmetics. I did this about 6 months into my 'journey', after a few months of furtive after-dark forays to a gay nightclub, where I figured a crossdresser would be accepted (and I was). But believe me, the first time you walk through a mall as a lady and realize that most or all of the people you pass don't realize you were born male, your heart will sing! Honestly, most of the other shoppers won't really look at you in that setting, unless you talk to them or bump into them. The confidence you'll have after the makeover will be amazing. It is well worth the effort and emotional hurdles to get there.

On your first outings, keep a change of clothes handy, so if needed you can duck into a private place and switch back to male mode. A lot of us call that the 'get out of jail free kit'. :) I kept one in my car when going out, until I was very comfortable going out and knew I could generally pass or at least be accepted in my female guise.

You might want to consider taking your feminine stuff to a hotel, and launching into public life from the safety of an anonymous hotel room.

Hi Ceera, thanks so much for the great reply. Yes, I had a good experience in my local wig shop. Getting a make-over is a big step, of course. I don't know if that'll happen soon. But, thanks, it is a great idea. Getting dressed in a hotel is the best idea I can come up with other than hoping to get lucky and not run into anyone while leaving my apartment.

Thanks again for your reply! Great ideas!

You're going to have LOTS of fun practicing! Enjoy ;)

Welcome to our little corner of the web.
Nice to have you hang out with us.

Welcome to the forum. That was a great story. Nothing like being able to dress up and feel feminine. I watched lots of tutorials on YouTube for makeup help. Keep enjoying yourself. It's hard to resist buying clothes.

We!come to the community - both shopping and going out get easier over time

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Originally Posted by Lori Kurtz

As for that problem of getting out without your neighbors seeing, trying getting at least partially dressed at home, and then putting on some loose male garments over that. Sweatpants will still fit over hip and butt pads. And if the weather is cool enough, you can wear a loose jacket over an amply filled bra and feminine top, and unless you come very close-up to someone, the breasts won't be all that noticeable. You can use a bag to carry a wig and whatever garments you can't easily hide under your loose-fitting male clothes. If it's night, you can probably get away with putting on makeup at home too--no one is likely to notice it as you move briskly toward the car. Once you're safely in the car, and have driven to a secluded place, you can add whatever you were afraid to do at home--your wig, and a skirt or dress, for example, your high heels if that's your thing, and some finishing touches to your makeup.

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I was going to suggest this but Lori beat me to it. This is what I do when I go out. Yes, it's a PITA, but trying to sneak out of the house and into the car will attract unwanted attention. Just because your neighbors aren't walking down the street doesn't mean they won't happen to look out their windows just when you are running to your car.

Hi Julie and welcome to the forum.
As you have already discovered there is an abundance of advice here, there's not much that I can add other than enjoy yourself and have fun.
Also nice to see another So Cal member.
Carmen

Hi, Ms. Julie. As others have said, welcome aboard!! You'll find that the girls here are absolutely the very best in helping a newbie. Take advantage of their knowledge and advice. You can learn! Hugs!! Jenny22

I know there have been lots of suggestions already, but I didn't have time to read all of them to avoid repeats. My first makeup job was by appointment at a salon in a nearby town. I told them I was doing a charity event, and brought my clothes, etc. with me. Dressed and they did makeup and hair. Watch how they do it. I also went to a cosmetology school once (cheap!) but makeup wasn't the best I've had. But Youtube tutorials are the best, I think.
As for going out, I take all my stuff in a bag and find a strategic place where I can change. Hotel bathrooms are good (usually unoccupied). Other places with nice bathrooms that aren't used much. Office buildings? Good luck!

Thanks so much, Carmen. It is nice to meet someone else from So Cal.

Also, thanks to everyone else that responded. I didn't expect to receive so many great replies.

Thanks again,
~Julie