For those who haven't been out fully dressed in public yet cuz they're "scared" to...

Yeah, I get it: It's scary out there, and can be quite nerve-racking at first. All kinds of crazy stuff can & does happen -- or it could be entirely uneventful.

It does take a lot of confidence to rip that band-aid off in one fell swoop, so to speak.


But have you ever tried a tiny baby-step to help get you there someday?

One way of doing that is going out completely as a guy -- except for one outwardly-visible thing of your choosing.


For example, earlier today I had to go to the post office & grocery store. And you think I'm gonna let the GG's have total dominion over yoga pants during an errand run? Aw, heck no! :D

My outfit: Men's running shoes, black bootcut yoga pants (with a thong underneath ;) ), and a charcoal men's t-shirt which, although not "a dress," was long enough to cover up most of my butt & front, as I didn't even "tuck" & the pants do hug the thighs & rear.


The only thing that kinda sucked was having no pant-pockets. Ain't I ain't carrying a purse, at least for that. Luckily, the t-shirt I chose has a front pocket, so I tossed my wallet in there (made it as light as possible first), and just kept my keys in my hand.


And it felt great the whole time out there. Very comfy! I looked in my full-length mirror before I headed out, and it really just looked like a "normal" guy-outfit. I even intentionally kept my ears & eyes out, and nothing out of the ordinary from anyone that I noticed.

Could a keen-eyed GG tell they were women's yoga pants, or at least wondering if they were? Always possible. But really, what's she gonna think -- "Ah, I don't blame him!" ?? :laughing:


Anyway, it's just one little thing to get you used to being all dolled-up out in public. And it really can be something as inconspicuous as what I wore. Do it a few times, and you realize it's no big deal, being perfectly comfortable with it. Then after a while, maybe kick it up a notch, by adding some not-so-obvious women's running shoes, or a women's top that looks more gender-neutral?

Really, you can take it as far as you want. But even just a couple things can get you used to the idea of being out there fully dolled-up in public, to make that "transition" that much easier when you do finally go ahead with it someday.


Give it a try, if you haven't already! :)

I wonder if that's how the men wearing earrings fad started years ago.....one of us is to blame.

Good idea, Laura. No time like the present...

Then again, you could just get all dolled up in your favorite outfit, apply your make up using the techniques that you have perfected after countless hours of practice at home in front of a mirror, put on your best wig, add all the pertinent accessories (purse, shoes, jewelry, femme eyeglasses (if you need them), add a dab of perfume, stand in your doorway, psych yourself up with a resounding "Hell, yeah!", and walk confidently out the door into the big, scary world before you even have the chance for any second thoughts. All or nothing; sink or swim. :eek:

Parachutists, rodeo riders, bungee jumpers, and "extreme" roller coaster aficionados do it all the time for the same adrenalin rush, and they usually live to tell the tale as well. ;) The first time is always the hardest, but that is precisely where one typically needs to adopt the Nike "Just Do It!" philosophy in order to successfully banish those demons of fear that keep us awake at night. :heehee: :daydreaming:

Awesome idea! I did it basically all at once, terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Bought women's sneakers the other day, One is obviously feminine and the other is hard to tell. Wearing the hard to tell ones with drab and panties. Also wear women's jeans and tee shirt with panties and sneakers. If had wig and makeup would go all the way(November) . Hugs Lana Mae

One way I found to boost confidence in go out fully dressed is to go for a 3 mile walk fully dressed in my neighbourhood, but of cause with jogger type shoes on rather than heels, do it about a half hour before it gets light in the morning, that way by the time you arrive home its broad daylight. Don't forget to take sunglasses with you. At that time of the morning you will have many cars pass you, but the occupants are only interested in getting to work and unless you live in an area that people go out jugging a lot or walk their dogs, you probably won't run into many, it's also a good idea to monitor your neighbours to see when they leave for work or arrive home if they are shift workers,
This is the way I did it and now I have been to 2 Formal Balls, Crossdressers social meeting and have gone out shopping in distant shopping malls and this is on my own as I don't know of any other Crossdressers in my area.
Anyway it worked for me:battingeyelashes:

Yes, jeans are also good for this stuff. Though just be mindful of any of those fancy back pockets. ;)


I'm a bootcut-jean kinda gal, which oftentimes hug the butt & thighs, with obviously a bit of flare at the hem. Not entirely the most gender-neutral style, but I still wear 'em in guy-mode, anyway, LOL.

Oh, and with jeans you might have to go down a size if you normally wear them with hip/butt padding. :)

That's the approach I took.
First time I went out the only items of female attire I had on were tight fitting ladies stretch jeans, and panties on underneath of course. I went shopping in the local supermarket. Jeans are unisex (although stretch ones less so) so I doubt whether anybody really took any notice. However, as it was my first time, it was a big adventure for me. I knew they were ladies' jeans even if nobody else did. As nothing untoward happened, I wore them quite regularly. My confidence grew, and started to wear a soft bra under my shirt and jumper, or wear a blouse in place of a shirt.
It wasn't long before I really wanted to take the plunge and go out fully dressed, as I felt I had built up the confidence to do it.
To be honest, the most nerve-wracking part was leaving the house (in case the neighbours saw me), but once I wasa couple of streets away, I was in my element. After that I was hooked.

It is like a bandaid, the first few steps are always the hardest, but once you are in and get settled down its no big deal.

Although for me its all or nothing. Some of you may be OK with going out partially dressed, for me, I only go out all the way - makeup, wig, hip pads, breast forms, clothes. Going out partially dressed is something I am not interested in, and I think that would be far more difficult than going out dressed all the way.

Baby steps are fun but i doubt I will ever work my way up to the full image let alone do a makeover in private (can't find a wig that makes me itch)

My first step was in yoga shorts (knee lenght, nothing crazy like those booty shorts) Oddly enough it was in broad daylight and i was just taking out the trash. The feeling of opening the door and into the world (live in apartment building) is surreal. It's like walking outside in your underwear, I mean those shorts were kind of like long boxer briefs.

Not sure what I hope to accomplish from all my CDing antics, I guess I'm just sick of feeling trapped in my forever single male narrative. By beating the boundaries in my mind I might undo my "Love shyness" that plagues me.

For me, it was like ripping off the bandaid. I picked the date and time where it would be easiest for me. No one would be home to watch me leave, and not many people would be out and about because it was so early. I had to give myself a long peptalk about not caring what other people think, and reminding myself that I wouldn't have an easier time with it on any other day. I did end up going out and having a great time. The only issue I encountered was that I kept meeting really nice people who would ask for my name, but I had no female name to give them. Whoopsie! Maybe I really should come up with one.

For me it's one way or the other. Not a mixture. It's Krisi or Homer, there's no "Kromer".

Well challenge accepted and answered! Laurababe, your post could have come at a more opportune time. I'm back on the road for a 3 day business trip. For the first time ever (and at my wife's suggestion - oh hell yeah she did) I brought both male and female clothing. As we discussed in another thread, I recently got my first pair of capri leggings and a sports bra so you know from how that thread went that those came with me.

Before I left my wife had planted the seed of "well how girly do your leggings look. Could you get away with them in the gym?" Well after reading your post tonight, I said f it, time for the word to meet me with all my gender queerness for the first time. I just got back from a 60 minute workout in the hotel gym. I wore my leggings with a women's thong underneath. My male ankle socks. A pair Nike runner's that are on the narrow side and grey with a supposedly orange trip that I've always thought looked more like a pink than an orange. Up top I wore my sports bra underneath a male sleeveless shirt with a tight mesh back. While you couldn't see the sports bra through the mesh, you could see the outline all across my back. Especially the tell-tail "wings" where it cuts under my shoulder blades. In other words, if you took any time to really look at me from behind, you'd know I was wearing it. Ultimately from the waist down, especially with my shaved legs and pretty shapely butt I must say, I looked female. My torso was pretty androgynous, and from my shoulders up unmistakably male.

I passed a few people in the hall, shared the elevator with a few more. There were two guys in the gym when got there. One finished his strength training workout and left about halfway through my 60 minute run on the treadmill. The other was there almost the whole time I was and left only moments before I wrapped up. So I know this will be shocking, but no one made a single comment, no one said anything to me other than hi and have a nice workout (when I got out of the elevator). So as you'd have expected, a total non-issue.

The fact of all this is, I'm in a hotel where many people who will be attending the same gathering I'm going to are also staying. I will be very publicly visible at that gathering so I knew going in there was a very good chance I'd encounter someone while dressed this way that I may see again in the next two days. However, it came down to me just saying "Enough is enough, it's time for me to come out and stop hiding from the world". I now know I'm gender queer, I have put my marriage in upheaval as a result, why should I let the rest of the world control me and my ability to express myself as I see fit. So I did it. Between your challenge and some encouragement from my wife (still very unexpected given her troubles with my gender identity) I finally built up enough motivation to rip off at least a little band-aid.

I realize for many of you who go out fully femme, this is a "baby step". Sure, but that was one GIANT baby let me tell you. For me this is so much bigger than just being seen in public in women's clothing. It's the first time I've acknowledged publicly that I am a non-binary gender and it was my announcement to the world that I'm not going to hold myself captive anymore. And it's only the first step. Hopefully this is the beginning of a snowball that will lead to my freedom of gender expression.

[QUOTE=laurababe;4004452 I ain't carrying a purse, at least for that. [/QUOTE]

Soooo... What's wrong with carrying a purse? I've been going out in all manner of combinations, completely dressed, partially, just one thing like nail polish or heels... you name it I've done it. Purses, even in full girl mode always seemed awkward. a few years ago I was dating a girl who was way into purses. She had a bunch, and had a real eye for designer purses. Her enthusiasm for purses was contagious, and I caught it. But it didn't just effect me in girl mode. I started carrying a purse in guy mode and mixed mode. When I'm not at work, I typically carry a purse. Different purses for different outfits and different occasions. I used to struggle with what to carry in my purse. I'd fill it with needless things just so it wasn't empty. Not anymore! Once I got used to having that space always available it was no problem making it useful. I miss having it when I have to go without it. I suppose they've become a bit of a security blanket. Perhaps even a bit of a statement.

... I'm... Not going to do that. I'm fine in the basement.

Congrats, Lisa! :banana:

See how easy that was? You must be feeling pretty good right about now. And that's awesome how your wife mentioned that.


Honestly, the lines are already pretty blurred when it comes to athletic apparel these days, anyway. Men's running tights, yoga pants, even capri's, etc. There might be some differences sometimes, like in the crotch area, but there's definitely tons over overlap. I've even seen some "questionable" colors/prints in the men's category that could easily pass as women's, too.

And yes, it probably helps if one is already somewhat fit, as it may make it "more believable." Even if one is out & about, other people might simply assume you just came back from the gym, or about to head there afterwards.


Not just using this as some sort of excuse, but I really need to lose a bit more weight on my upper body before I feel comfortable enough to go ahead & start wearing full-length yoga leggings while out running errands. Definitely some inspiration... Can't wait! :D



And Rhonda, I get what you're saying. But at least in the past, I've personally always reserved a purse for full-out en femme mode. If others are comfortable otherwise, then absolutely go for it. Can come in real handy!

Heck, plus I don't even own one right now. In the meantime, I can get by without. All I really need is my wallet & keys, which I could hold in one hand if ever need be.

But remember, this is about those who want to gradually work up their confidence before taking the plunge, which is perfectly fine to do it this way or the full-on "Just do it!" way. But going out mainly in guy-mode allows one to really pick & choose something, whether more fem or more gender-neutral. I suppose it's just a way of "blending" as a guy where they wouldn't get a 2nd glance (or even a first) -- as potentially opposed to an obvious CD'er who went all the way.

Just about dipping one's toes in. :)

If you're TS, u NEED to go out dressed fem because that's who u r. Dressing to blend is both necessary and practical.:thumbsup:

If you're a CD like me, u dress not because u need to, but because u ENJOY IT! And, going out dressed to blend is NOT enjoyable. :thumbsdn:

Since I don't need to go out amongst the muggles dressed, I DON"T!:D

Great tip! It sounds very easy to do, to accomplish. I wouldlike to do it. Someday. But even that thought of doing it creates that fear in my head. I know i should notcare and i am trying but still in back of my head its still there. "What they think? What they do? It ll have consequence?" and so on. Its still coming back. I am not sure how to fight that, but i must! Taking Ashley out is on program one day (she were once actualy, 8 year ago, first time and last time). Not sure of guys face and feme pants :D or any other girly clothing. how thats can work? :) to be honest, i am a little bit afraid of looking at myself in mirror as Ash. Getting guilty thoughts. Even after 18 years of CDing, yes.
Oh quick addition, while i wrote this post,my collegues had discussion about claustrophobic ppl. They say those people are weird, ill and their parents are reason for their condition. See how ppl are around so untolerative? Fot ppl with real medical condition, i dont even want to think of s***storm start would start if anyone with my gilr side :/
Anyway, thanks for tip. I ll give it try hopefuly.

Scared? Audacity is more like it; and I confess to you, my sisters, it wasn't entirely wise to skydive on the first parachute jump.
I went on a long bicycle vacation, spending evening in small towns, bed & breakfasts, etc. I traveled alone on this trip, and took a few basic dressing items to try my wings for the first time.

The first night was in the seat of an agricultural community. You know the kind of midwest plains town.

I dressed at the B&B (hotel this night) in my favorite calf length blue floral dress, heels, bra/panties (of course), no makeup save for lipstick , my larges ear hoops. No wig. Wore my black floral silk headscarf and carried a small beaded hand evening bag. I strode out through the occupied lobby of the hotel. People saw. Walked a couple blocks to the only decent available restaurant on the courthouse square, and sat at an out sidewalk table. Spare the details; and my waitress was fantastic about it to the extent she bought me my wine. On return to my room, Alex the lone desk clerk took a photo with me in the lobby.
That was as good a first OUT as one could expect.

A couple nights later, was not so good.

In another wine town and another B&B, I dressed (same) and instead of dining in Dress, I lingered in the sequestered brick courtyard behind. I immediately walked up to a sole lady already seated, drinking wine and smoking. My appearance in that glorious long dress caught her visible attention. I wasn't trying to hide i was a man in a dress. I asked if I could join her, and we talked (about "it" , and other exploits) for over an hour. A great time.

An hour later before I retired for bed, I went out to the courtyard again in dress and alone for a nightcap. When I tried to re-enter I discovered I was locked out without my B&B keys. There was no staff on the grounds at night. And I was in a small city (urban-like), trapped outside my room in my dress. I was mortified of it. An hour and a half of frantic calls to an emergency number bore no fruit, and I faced the prospect of being found sleeping in a wrought iron chair in the courtyard come morning. In desperation I broke a glass on a rear window.... again DRESSED!. Good Lord, I waited and prayed the sticker on the window ("These Premises Under surveillance") was a fake, or that an alarm didn't sound.

In the morning I explained to the first shift staff what happened and made restitution for the glass. But I've executed aerial un-briefed re-attacks on heavily fortified positions and not been so "puckered up" as that second attempt at going out.
Just saying...... look about you before you leap. You will leap

I feel like I'm not understanding why it's so important to go out in public while dressed...

First time I went out I got all dolled up, wig to heels, and just went to the post office one night to check the mail.
Pretty much no one else around.
Then I started going to department stores.
Getting a few whistles from people and compliments from SA's definitely helped.

Most difficult thing was approaching the ID checkers at the comedy club a few weeks ago; it was the first time I spoke to anyone out in public whilst dressed up. I just used my regular voice, went very smoothly.
That in and of itself took more courage-buildup than actually going up and being on stage for three minutes entertaining people with jokes.

:)

GB for many people it may not be. If crossdressing is just an enjoyable hobby for you, I can understand why doing it at home in privacy may be enough. For me as a gender fluid individual, it's much different. It's about not having my gender forced on me but rather being able to express who I am. I'm not male, I'm not female, I'm in that largely yet to be understood middle. Why should I have to act, dress, think like a male just because I'm out in public. For me, cross dressing in public is what would be normal for me if society didn't assign genders to clothing. So it's important because it's part of how I feel inside not having to be bottled up when I go outside. I hope that makes sense.

Laurababe, if I really want to make this a challenge, I suppose the next step would be to loose the shirt and just go in the leggings and sports bra. I'm very tempted to try it and very scared as well. If this were a different type of trip where I wouldn't have to worry about people in the hotel ever seeing me again it would be easier. However, in this case, my hotel is filled with people I know professionally and who may be in attendance when I give a presentation tomorrow. For that reason, I may keep my workout tonight to the same outfit I wore yesterday. I admittedly haven't fully decided yet.

I also have a 5 hour drive home tomorrow night and I'm seriously considering driving home in my workout gear. I also have a new professional outfit with me (Cami blouse, skirt, heels) which I thought about wearing all or a part of to drive home, just not sure on that yet. It's an eye catching outfit so I think I'd like to be a bit more androgynous (i.e. no beard and mustache for starters) before trying that one.

Laura. In another post on obsessions, I said that mine was if i go out it will be a skirt or dress. But running around with yoga pants, yeah the girls know that they are theirs. But if i want to blend during summer i always wear shorts and yes they are girly shorts. And women jeans,no problem. I am mostly male doing that but when i am totally fem its doing it right and looking the part. I have stated that out there the most feminine men don't even track attention. So if I want to present as a women, skirts, feminine tops and dresses, makeup and bling. Then I am a tall lady and no problems.

Regarding the sports bra, that's obviously totally up to you.


The way I would look at it is, is there a real need to? If yes, then obviously wear it.

Otherwise, is there a valid point that makes sense to? Personally, I wouldn't, but that's just me. When I'm out in guy-mode like this, I don't really aim to call attention to myself. A sports bra would "scream" that person is wearing women's clothes. I know there's a decent chance I would get looks, whispers, fingers pointed, laughs, maybe even some kind of comment. To me, I don't have the need or desire, nor would I think it's worth it in my case.


When I do this, I typically just wear women's stuff that's kinda-sorta gender-neutral, but a bit on the femmy side. No bright "girly" colors or floral patterns or lace or whatever, no skirts or obvious heels, etc. Tend to stick with black, grays, blues & browns. Though I have worn white/silver/turquoise/lime-green running shoes -- still working up the courage to wear (in public) some bright pink in those, LOL, as I do have an awesome pair that fits the bill.


Anyway, your call. Good luck with whatever you do! :)