Sex, dresses and emotions ... My husband a comped lady :)

Recently I saw a thread on sex while dressed a couple of the responses peeked my interest as they hit home for me.

The response from a couple people was that while dressed they find themselves to be more passive almost submissive not only in their demeanor but in their sexual desires. Diplomatically put some even dreamed of and/or preferred penetration opposed to the traditional male to female sex.

My husband is a fairly high level professional male at work and a somewhat dominant personality both in and out of the bedroom in male mode.


I am a fairly assertive professional as well a bit of a tom boy with exception of my appearance I am not leaving the house without make-up but I am equally as comfortable in evening gowns as I am in jeans. Meaning my appearance doesn't alter my personality more than slightly. For him the difference is extreme.


When my husband is dressed I noticed particularly after a few hours the male dominate traits diminish. She takes over with her wide smiling eyes, adorable charm , playfulness, emotional openness , honestly and a certain venerability. "24-48 " hours in girl mode all I can say is "wow"

Sexually my husband changes as well. I would call it extreme as well. Let's use the phase "Far less assertive " as he finds the word submissive scary (must be a man thing) . His desire while dressed again diplomatically put is to be penetrated. An act the mainstream considers taboo however for him it adds to his femme experience to be on the other side of the equation.

Something he refused to say out loud till recently. The transformation does not scare me honestly my little tom boy giggles silently " slide over here cutie " :) but I do wonder if others are as exstreme .

You two are fortunate to have each other. I can't see a down side to anything you have written as long as the honesty and respect is maintained.

Wow! This is so great that both of you get pleasure. I have to say that I'm so very envious. It is only because of both of your obvious and open communication it works, leaving all taboos behind as you share in each other's pleasure. Congratulations for going places the rest of us dream of.

Your husband is not alone. I'm a closet dresser and my wife doesn't mind. However she won't let me leave the house and I respect her wishes.
I have a career that needs a dominant personality but when dressed it suddenly changes.

Every couple months my wife and I would role-play. I would be the secretary, she would be the pushy boss that thinks he can get whatever he wants and it would eventually lead to the bedroom where I would be penetrated and my wife loves the power she has between her legs.
This isn't every time we have sex, just a couple times a year. I know my role in the relationship and don't push the boundaries.
I love my wife so much, and being open and honest about my true feelings has deepend our relationship.

You two are very lucky. I was in that spot once with a girlfriend. Loved to show her my female side too. Miss that very much.
Hugs,
Bree :)

Lucky to have one another.

As people we are all very complex Charlotte Ann. I find that since I've accepted all of my feelings and made them my own, I'm a more full spectrum person. The fact that you are willing to explore alternatives along with your husband makes you an exceptional person in my book. I see nothing but a win win situation for both of you. Who we are as people is the most important thing and that determines how we proceed with a lot of things. May you both continue to get closer as time goes on. :battingeyelashes::)

Charolette, I get this completely. I am very dominate at work , run a business and can be dominate in the bedroom as well. When I dress though , I just want to be taken and yes as you some of this other sexual things. It is good you have each other cherish it, my wife is just starting to try to understand and be part of it.

Most boys/men have either been taught or have learned that in order to succeed in most aspects of their life they must put forth a strong, even dominate, image. For many this is not a natural, comfortable thing. When presenting as a woman, they can dispense with this "male image" and feel comfortable in a more relaxed, softer, more caring personality.

It is wonderful to read that you are able to accept both sides of your spouse's personality.

How I envy your relationship It is something I can only dream about.

I , for one, am sick unto death of the macho, dominant, hard nosed male image, always in control, overly competitive, yada yada yada. Testosterone, misguided, has done so much harm to this world. I wish all men could put off the superstar, superman costumes, and all women could take off the Wonder Woman costumes, and be real, genuine, and humble. Many do, thankfully. I would be considered rather passive most of the time, maybe passive assertive sometimes, like my dad, and many are. When dressed up, i am definitely less aggressive, try to be passive/assertive. At 62I have never had a wife or SO, and am physically a virgin, as i have never had penetration sex. Pretend, but no real. Some of us live in different worlds. I can sure understand him being more ladylike all dolled up, though. It is kind of an escape from the crazymaking, frustrating roles, double binds and expectations put on boys and men. No wonder so many escape their male worlds.

How wonderful that u r able to so honestly express you and and your SO's feelings and activities, CA.

And, u seem to be so open and accepting to experimenting. If he is of a similar demeaner, I predict a happy life for both of u, together.:hugs:

Charlotte Anne,

I am glad for both of you and I hope you both thrive and achieve all the joy you can.
What your SO is experiencing while dressed is not unusual and is perfectly fine. Enjoy it. When dressed I find myself being a changed person though I would not say that I am a strongly dominant person anyway. Like many of us here, I love to indulge in being fully feminine not just dressed that way.

I find that when Im dressed Im very submissive in the bedroom, I like my wife to take charge and that includes being penetrated. This makes me feel like a real woman.

I like my wife to take charge and that includes being penetrated. This makes me feel like a real woman.

A nice post thanks for sharing

I guess I am on the other opposite extreme end, as when I am dressed nothing changes other than the clothes I am wearing. I only can say that it is a comforting feeling, not thrilling, not sexual. Just comforting. There is no sexual aspect in of itself about dressing. It does not turn me on. It just comforts me. I know I may be in the minority on here being this way, but for me I don't become anything or anyone different, in any way at all.

I am the same way. Sometimes when I get irritated over something stupid, my wife and daughters will say, you need you need Niki. Dressing brings out my sub side and provides the perfect balance in my entire life.

For me and for I believe most of us, one of the reasons we do what do is to become someone else for a short time. I too am a professional who is responsible for patient care, my employees, my ex and child among other things..that is a lot of pressure to be always in control and making all these decisions that affect other people so when I go en femme I get to escape from these pressures, if only for an hr or two. That also translates into the bedroom where I become passive and prefer my partner be the aggressive one. So to me it seems quite normal to leave behind our male psyche and enjoy the pleasures and stress relief of dressing..