Meeting other crossdressers and peopke in transgender community

I have made contact with two people in the trangender/crossdressing community. One is a trans woman that is in charge of a support group for crossdressers and transexuals. She is willing to meet me for lunch and talk but every time i get enough courage to go, it leaves me. Im embarrassed to admit to another that im into looking and acting like a female. Even though she is a trans woman!!! What is wrong with me? Im also having the issue of telling myself that im weird and that I dont belong in their community because I get a sexual thrill to a degree from dressing. That im a fetish dresser and dont belong and that im different. So im strugging with feeling different in the "normal" world and feeling different in the trans community. I do dress for other reasons, especially the longer I do it. I dont want to be a woman per se, but i do wish i could live as one as i please. I want to look convincing and do girly stuff and express my femininity. Why am i so afraid to meet this nice woman thats willing to help? Do I belong in this community and im just trying to find excuses to not follow through? Somebody please help me out here. I dont know where else to turn. Thanks girls.

You know, this may not help much, but that sounds like a GREAT topic to discuss with this woman.

It's been said many time before. Go to the support group meeting. You'll meet like minded people in a safe environment and will be far less intimidating than a one on one lunch date. No-one will mind if you choose to go in drab if you're finding going enfemme too stressful.

We're all different to some degree or other. You'll see that upon attending the meeting.

I guess you could use some professional counseling in order to help you define your priorities. I know is difficult at the beginning, and I do things today that I could not imagine I would do it ten years ago when I started. This is a long an uneasy road.
Good Luck

Karla

You need to ask yourself why you feel the need to meet with others from the community. What is the main reason you want to do so?

I guess I am different in the fact that I have zero interest in meeting up with others from the community. I always get PMs on here and other communities asking to meet up or join their group and I just do not have any interest. It's nothing personal, I just don't feel the need... I guess that makes me a rare crossdresser who doesn't want to interact with others.

It doesn't help that I get a lot of creepy and pervy PMs and messages across all the sites I post on. Honestly why would I want to go out and meet you or join your group if you are being ultra creepy in the message inviting me to do so?

Go meet up with her and explain how you feel its as simple as that.
You need to let go of your fear and do something like meeting others.
Meeting others like you will help you grow and understand more about yourself.Not making the effort to meet others will only leave you where you are now and from what I can see you are not enjoying it. You made a thread about it so I responded and you can take or leave my suggestion thats up to you.
You are not weird at all you just are having a hard time admitting to yourself that you like to express your feminine side.

Let me add this as well:
You ever stop to think that this trans woman may have gone thru the same issues you are going thru now?
We all have had to work thru tough times trying to figure it all out so you are no different.
Yes you belong even if you are not exactly like the trans woman you speak of but she may be able to help you understand more on the subject.

You need to go meet with her. You need to join the group if it feels right and go in drab if you must-check it out. To my knowledge there are no groups in my area. You are lucky to have one so near. Here you will get help when you need it and a nudge now and then if you need it. Relax and be you and the feminine you. Most of us have gone thru the sexual phase. It is part of the turf. Usually but not always it goes away you just grow out of it. Sit back and enjoy your journey! Hugs Lana Mae

If there is on thing I have learned from this board is that there is no normal !! Don't get me wrong I believe that we are all normal, but don't try to categorize yourself. We all are different. For me there is a certain degree of sexual pleasure from dressing, but that doesn't make me a fetish dresser. There is pleasure in dressing, sometimes for me its sexual, and sometimes its just a calming feeling that gives me total satisfaction, but not sexual. You seem to have the desire to meet others and explore yourself through interaction. The only thing holding you back is yourself. In post before mine it was suggested a support group or just talking about this with the person you mentioned. One of the greatest quotes I have heard was "The only thing to fear is fear itself..." FDR

Many times we hesitate but I finally took the plunge and joined a TG Org some years ago. I'm glad I did. It got me where I am today. :)

Joining a trans support group was one of the best things I have ever done.
Made some life time friends and learned so much about myself.

I would say go in drab if you're not comfortable going en femme.
:)

First - ain't no one in the TG community going to judge you for wherever you fall on the TG spectrum.

Fetish dressing - I do not know how many TG enjoy the fetish aspect of it but I think more CD and TS get a bit of sexual charge from looking/feeling pretty than would admit. I do this crap full time and have for years and there are still two things I wear almost purely for "fun".

Maybe you are afraid to meet because maybe the idea of meeting another TG seems intimidating, like we are some sort of mystical creatures.
Hell no we are just everyday people. Work jobs, pay bills, have car troubles, chain smoke and eat unhealthy (at least I do), work in the yard...

Lemme say this In my experience -
When I first dabbled in the TG life, I was a wreck the first time I met a TS. Older lady named Emily. I survived. We sometimes talk even to this day, 20 years later. My first makeover, I was a wreck. First time this or that - always just a feeling of stepping into uncharted territory. Like the gender police would arrest me. Nowadays, I live this full time even at work. My job is a boring everyday thing where I deal with dumb customers all day. Never a thought goes into how I am dressed as a woman.

You MIGHT run into some Tg that will try to say how you should live this. No. You have to decide what is right for you. It is not easy when you are just learning about all this though.

I have met but one person on here that I didn't already know, it was Tracii G. She was in town a few times. Pretty cool lady. I don't think our conversations really had much to do with TG though but that is cause we both live this enough that we aren't looking for answers at this point.

Meeting other Tg is fun though cause you can communicate with someone on your level of gender understanding so it has a different dynamic than "vanilla" people asking why you want to do this, do you want to be a woman, are you gay, does your family know blah blah...

If you want we can talk. Shoot me a Pm and I can give my cell number. Maybe over the phone would be an easier way than trying to cold meet someone. I mention cell number because I am one of those fancy folks who has an actual cellular phone. How many people can say they own a cell phone? I rule!
Joking about my fancy cell aside...

I remember feeling like going out and meeting other trans or cd gals was always something I wanted to do. I had been a closeted girl my whole life and the idea that I could dress and be with others seemed li,e a dream. And then about a year ago I finally went to a support group, and I remember thinking to myself....is that it?

There were no rainbows streaking down and the heavens parting. No earth shattering experience. They were really nice people who welcomed me into their group, and I enjoyed the experience. But it was really just ok.

Since then, I've realized that what I'm looking for is connection. I'd like to be able to connect with other folks and build support and a community for this side of me. I have gone to a few more meetings, but to be honest that group just wasn't a good fit. Although we had trans/cd stuff in common, that was it. I'm really looking for other trans folks now who I hope I have more in common with. I cast the net wide, and I'm trying to be patient with the process.

For some folks, they'll be happy on their own for life. Others crave connection. I think making friends as a regular guy in my day to day is hard enough. Trying to do it and find folks who are cd/trans friendly feels overwhelming, but they're out there. Get out. Meet folks. Don't worry about how they judge you. I think we all carry that burden of fear of judgement, but when you can let that go, you'll feel lighter.

Good luck hun! I hope ou find what you're looking for.

Samantha,
Please listen to her and go and see her, you can meet up in drab initially , they don't usually have a problem with that. Some have suggested counselling, if you can't accept that you are wired differently then maybe seek some help . The first thing you must do is accept yourself without any guilt or shame. The dressing is a need to satisfy an inner feeling, once you get to that stage you don't worry who knows about your dressing, the more that know the easier it is for you. Some will say that you may get negative feedback but that happens anyway you just have to treat it as the other person has the problem and not you.

It's taken me too long to learn all this, the point is don't let it rule your life but try and build your life round it, you will then achieve a happy balance.

You will feel better when the Indians win the World Series!
Love, Sabrina

Sam, nearly every dresser has been turned on by some aspect of it at one time or another. Do not let that stop u from communicating/meeting others. Sex is NOT the end all for even us "fetish dressers"!:heehee:

Dolovewell: I was just like u when I arrived here 8+ years ago. Sherry A LOT of attention at another T dating site. And, since it was all from men and other T's it freaked me out, too!:eek:

When I first arrived here, I was approached by a nearby T who wanted to simply to meet for coffee and chat in drab. But, I blew him off. Worried he was "interested" in Sherry!:sad:

Big mistake! I have since met 100's of T's at national and local events. Being hit on has never been an issue. Only a hand few even expressed interest and they were very polite. Not at all pushy or forward. If you're not meeting other dressers? You're missing out!

I strongly suggest u meet other T's at events, clubs, etc. Most r remarkable people and some r down rite fun to be around!:D

I recently joined a trans & gender-diverse group run out of a local health clinic as a way to meet other people in the community because - although I have a number of trans friends online - in real life I'm not connected, and I wanted to share space with people who are dealing with or have dealt with similar issues.

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Originally Posted by dolovewell

I guess I am different in the fact that I have zero interest in meeting up with others from the community. I always get PMs on here and other communities asking to meet up or join their group and I just do not have any interest. It's nothing personal, I just don't feel the need... I guess that makes me a rare crossdresser who doesn't want to interact with others.

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Just curious, but do you ever interact while dressed with those you know, who *aren't* officially part of the community?

Whether they be non-CD guys, and/or GG's?


Years ago I suppose I was like you. But then I met (as guys) an openly-gay drag queen who opened doors for me in the LGBT world. Definitely changed my way of thinking & my way of life when it comes to this. Hanging out socially while en femme is pretty awesome, IMO.

And it's not just other CD'ers or whatever at a drag show (though there is that, too). But also non-CD'ing men & GG's who are simply really cool supporters, and it doesn't matter if the club is gay, straight, or whatever. Always a fun adventure! Of course, hanging out at someone's home is perfectly fine, too. Or wherever you want to go.


Anyway, highly recommended for those reading who have yet to do something like this. And yes, it can be a bit weird or nerve-racking or whatever at first -- but you quickly get over that. It really does propel you to the "next level" and is quite eye-opening & very fulfilling. :)

No one I know personally knows I am a crossdresser. I move all the time for work so it's hard to make and keep friends. I haven't really bothered to make many friends here in Portland. I've made a couple at church but wouldn't want to dress around them.

The main reason I do not join CD groups or meet up with other crossdressers is because of the large number of creepy and perverted PMs I get online. No interest in risking meeting up with what turns out to be a pervert.