maybe you all can help

This has probably be asked and answered before but it seems like I want to dress more and more all the time. Because of my job, I can not fully dress but I underdress and do have my toes painted all the time and when I have the time off, I do my fingernails and live the dream, so to speak. The problem is that I sometimes feel like it is taking over and I tell myself that I am not going to do it but the next thing I know I am putting on my bra and panties. It seems almost like a guilt comes over me but I can't stop. It also seems the older I get (I am 52 and I have been dressing off and on for a long time...purged to many times to count...lol) the more I wish I could dress all the time.
Anyway, I wonder if this is something that happens to everyone at sometime or other.

Maybe seek some therapy if you feel you need it.
Is it hampering anything in your life?
Underdressing is not a huge deal lots of men and women do it.

My wife told me as men age they lose a lot of testosterone and thus start to feel more emotional, and feminine. I think I agree with her to some of her thinking. I'm in my late 60s and started wanting more femme time as I aged. In my teens it was exciting, my 20s thru 40s a turn on, and 50s till now I want more feminine feelings and dressing. I know I'm ten times more emotional now than I've ever been. It's hard being a tough old male in life.

No it is not hampering anything that I know of. I guess I was just wondering if this happen to others because it feels like I am the only one (I know I'm not, but you get the picture). I do talk to my SO and she knows and don't care but she really don't understand.

No longer a need to be a tough old male in my retirement. No longer have to compete, just relax, enjoy the sun and allowing emotions to surface. There are advantages to age.

Ineke

I don't usually do the advice thing. I felt pretty much the same way, but have found my center and dress sometimes a few times a week, sometimes not once a week( except leisure clothes) I am always underdressed and wear yogas and some everyday shirt or blouse. Maybe you need to Do It just enough to normalize it and enjoy What you can. Good luck and I hope this helps.

Yes I'm in my mid 50s and am finding myself more as I call it gender fluid. There are days I would much prefer to stay dressed all day, but work comes first or my spouse so I do find my balance in dressing before work most days.
Wife and I work opposite so it gives me my opportunity.
It's helped me for sure

There are a lot of different kinds of people here, but your story seems to be a common one on this site so if you're worried you're the only one, no problem. The feeling of it taking over is what we call "the Pink Fog" the crash that comes after is, again, common. If you start to accept yourself more it seems it may lessen or go away entirely.

Yes, yes, yes
Early years I was busy building a career, forming a reputation as a good hard worker (wearing a leotard under my work clothes was for winter time only, but I did join a gym in the 80's did aerobics in full girls lycra outfits).
Now living a life with less stress and more balance.

In my 20's it was under dressing - leotards, leggings or aerobics at the gym with lots of pretty girls - absolutly heaven during my 6 months membership.
In my 30's, once a month seemed enough, discreetly at night or wee hours jogging in my leotards
40's was twice a month, visiting 24hr cafe before 7.30am - they got to know me quite well and were really nice
50's is out once a week and several times at home in the evenings.

The best thing ever - was letting go of the guilt.

I always underdress. It is very normal for the folks in our group to do. There is no reason to feel ashamed of it, or think that you are less of a person because of it. It is something that we enjoy and makes us feel (at least it does for me) normal. I have noticed that since I really started accepting who I am, I have been getting a lot more confident about it. I dress more often now. I have even worn bras to work. Of course it was hidden under a sweater. But do what makes you feel good about being you. For me under dressing and dressing fully when I can gets me through.

You aren't the only one that feels that way I'm sure.
Sounds like you need to find a balance between the two genders.

Yes it is very common, it mostly happened to me around age 40. Nowadays its more of an on and off thing. We all seem to be exactly the same and completely different. You could be heading towards needing more and even transition or possibly your urges may well settle down or even drop off in time. If its not causing any issues in your life I say just go with the flow and see where she takes you.

Drop the guilt, accept as it is not going away, DO NOT PURGE, sit back and enjoy the journey!!!! Hugs Lana Mae PS: I wear toenail polish at work too!

I think others have pretty well covered it. Great comments. We all seem to follow similar patterns in regard to intensity and variations in intensity. I think it is part of an adjustment and learning process. Our brains are presented with a new and different pattern of behavior and it needs to adjust and find a comfort zone. We all progress at different rates and experience this different mode of operation in individualized ways. And yes, many, but not all, men (and women) tend to shift toward the middle of the gender spectrum with age. Hormones may be involved to some extent, but as my doctor says, "There is a reason why your testosterone declines with age. Don't mess with it unless it is medically necessary or you may end up in the grave prematurely." However, I think it is pretty clear that other matters are also involved in that age related gender shift in those who experience it. There is a lot of good professional literature out there on this subject and they certainly haven't found a clear answer as to the Why.

As others have said, if your desire to dress begins to interfere with your responsibilities in other matters of life then it is time to seek some help. That is more like addiction and although not all addictions are bad, if it interferes with your "normal" life then something is not quite right. Like most, or even all of us, in time, you will find your individual comfort zone. It can be a long process or it can be fairly short. That depends on the particulars of who you are at the finest level. So, enjoy the exploration; it is occurring because it is important. Just don't let it get too wild so it interferes.

YES, dressing feels so good, sexy and perfect to a CD that they want to stay in the female role and not go back. You learn how to handle it but the desire is always there. You are drawn to feminine where non CD's aren't.

Jaylin's wife nailed it in her first sentence, what she said can help us all understand why we are drawn to CDing and why it will never leave.

What you are feeling is normal and you should not worry about it. Just like others here, I have gone through the same progression and over time I find the desire to be dressed and be as feminine as possible became stronger and stronger while at the same time it changed from being something that was highly sensual to more of a feeling of calm and pleasure. Don't purge, it is a waste of your money and it does not solve anything. Someone suggested therapy and the opportunity to talk to a professional who has expertise in the area of TV/TG might be very helpful. Just make sure you go to someone who is experienced in this area. I know that many psychologists/therapists are clueless when it concerns our community and they can do more harm than good.

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Originally Posted by Jaylyn

My wife told me as men age they lose a lot of testosterone and thus start to feel more emotional, and feminine..............

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Unless your wife is a medical doctor, I wouldn't put a lot of stock in that thought. Do some independent research on medical sites (not crossdressing forums). Or ask your actual doctor. A reduction in testosterone doesn't turn you into a female.

To the OP, you need to be in control of what you do. If crossdressing is getting in the way of other important activities, stop or reduce it. It's called "willpower".

I have had to admit that now my urge is exactly like an addiction, and seriously occupying my thought to my detriment. I think this is happening because when I decided to open up and sort it out, 60 years of wishing and wanting came in like a tidal wave, and I do need to spend 24/7 experiencing it to let it settle. There is no turning back.

I am trying to be experimental and observational, - what do I think it is going to be like to wear x, what is it like- the first minute, after half an hour, half a day, alone vs with people, etc. I do find some comfort that when I am in the comfy stage, as opposed to the sexually charged stage, I still like it. But I also am finding that at a point, depending on how chilly it is in the house, and how much stuff I have on, that at some point it is also not sensually better than a masculine outfit, and more trouble in terms of keeping clean, etc., and then the value depends on there being a social environment where feminine style is appreciated. It is not much fun claiming a nice dress outfit as a way to say 'how nice this looks/I look] when the only person in the room is scowling with displeasure.

Gender is a relationship matter- who we are with respect to other humans, and plumage is wired in as part of it. We need to feel integrity in our relationships, gender is critical, and plumage is critical. Once it is worked out, we can pay attention to other things.

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Originally Posted by phili

Gender is a relationship matter- who we are with respect to other humans, and plumage is wired in as part of it. We need to feel integrity in our relationships, gender is critical, and plumage is critical.

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Hope you don't mean plumage only in the sense of what and how we dress.

As a TS, dressing is mainly for practical matters. Do CDs exist in a nudist camp.

I would like to thank all that have answered...it had given me things to think about and not feel so alone.

Same relative age group here: can say there are time I want to be dressed a lot, and times I don't want to be dressed at all. Dressing can commandere your life, though. Most of us have probably experienced that, especially early on. If you find yourself becoming a dressed up recluse, then you probably need to talk to a professional to help sort things out. Otherwise, you will likely find your own rhythm over time. Then, dressing to your level of need will become second nature (and not so all consuming.)

Welcome to the Forum!
As all have said, this is very common feeling we call Pink Fog.
There is no data to support a change in testosterone as making a difference, speaking as a medical doctor.
I am 56. My levels are fine and plenty of beard growth.
What may be more relevant is the changes in life events in this age range - kids are no the longer major focus of the father, so we turn to consider ourselves and our needs a bit more.
If dressing makes you feel happy, then is it the natural endorphins that are addicting, like a jogger who doesn't feel right if they miss a day running?
I hope all the various thoughts helped you.
Hugs, Ellen

Well like you or stories pretty much are mirrors of one another. From starting with my mother's clothes then my sisters. In my 20s it was only occasional. My 30s it was mostly under wear but pegged a few times from guilt. In my 40s it got more intense. By late 40s i unaddressed most of the time. By late 40s it was 24/7 undressed i just didn't feel right with out a bra and panties on. No when i turned 50 it grew intense i bought a wig and make up and like many others i think i have more female clothes than men's. I just bought breasts form recently. It seems the desire to look and dress feminine gets stronger for me as i get older. I take to a psychologist once she said. Does it hurt anyone? Do you feel happy when dressed? Are you more relaxed? After answering i decide it was good for me. I want carrying stress with me all day. So that's a few questions you have to answer for your self. Jmo

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Originally Posted by Georgette_USA

Hope you don't mean plumage only in the sense of what and how we dress.

As a TS, dressing is mainly for practical matters. Do CDs exist in a nudist camp.

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Yes, CDs do exist in nudist camps. I'm a CD and go to a nude beach several times a summer. I love not having any tan lines.:devil: