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I'm always amazed at the number of members vs. non-members viewing the Forum. Sometimes, I feel like we are in a fish bowel! Are there that many students doing advanced degree research?:heehee:
The Forum is a lot of fun, so please become a member and contribute!
I'd also like to encourage the lurkers to become members. Its nice to share experiences!!!
I'm a member of several other special interest group boards and very active in some of them. Of course, participating does take time away from other things in life, we understand that.
There are a lot of people in hiding that are ashamed of themselves out there I think. Self hate is a powerful prison of the mind to escape.
Joyce you would not believe the number of students doing papers that come in here.
Its easy to sniff them out because they go about it all wrong.
They lie and try to sneak around the point but its soo obvious what they are doing.
I can't tell you how many I have exposed.
If they would just be honest I would be more than willing to talk with them.
Jenna makes a good point too there are a lot of those types lurking.
I think it's just that some people are less overtly expressive and/or just shy. E.g. I was a non-member for a long time, and then took the plunge and become one, and still never posted... my first. But no doubt, this forum has changed and supported my life.
Nigella mentioned...surmised...that some are actually members who are simply not logging in, but visiting for a quick read of the open sections.
This is a very good and true observation. Since I become a member, only couple months, still feel a bit cumbersome to type login/passwd.. especially on mobile devices.
Research and learning yes....
Some may be shy, testing the waters before committing.
Some may be curious about "Those people", and some may be expecting to find confirmation of their assumptions ("Look at them there godless perverts! I knew it!)
And some are most probably looking for entertainment. Ya know, the kind of entertainment that requires hand lotion and tissues.........
Yeah, I visit here a lot. I've been a member for several years. I don't post much, but I come here every day just to see what's going on.
Please understand, I love this place and I love all of you. I have much respect for the level of feminism so many of you have achieved. I am 72 yrs old, been CD all my life. In 1974 I was at a level that many of you are today, i.e., going out into the world completely enfemme.
Now I am happy just to live a quiet, retired life. I live as girly as I can when at home, and totally underdress when I go out. I'm happy with that. I have other things in my life that I'm passionate about (restoring my old sports car), and have achieved a nice balance in my life.
This forum, and all of you, have helped me achieve that balance.
Thank you!
Anna
I am sure a lot of us had the lets look and see what this forum is about before we sign up.
I am sure we all understand the secrecy concerns of a closeted CD. Its only when we join we realize that our concerns we unfounded.
So it can take time before people make the last step and decide to join.
I lurked for years. Then, I decided to join in 2016. Its been a blessing for me! I would never have done what I've done since joining. Its been a fantastic experience!
To the VIEWERS: If you are CD or trans, join into our community! Share your experiences and learn from ours. You'll never regret it!
In a fish bowl...yes, sometimes. Fish bowel?.....EEEWWWWWW! Maybe that's why they're afraid to join?!!:)
I've never felt like Jonah before :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Joyce P.
I always notice the ratio of members to non members. When I checked after reading your post it was nine members and 148 non members. I know some members may choose not to sign in all the time because perhaps the other categories; clothing and pictures can be viewed less frequently to get caught up. I suspect there is a lot of fear of joining this forum because of the potential of trying to explain the difference to a spouse of joining and just interested in seeing what cross dressers chat about. Maybe some of those lurkers are wives trying to "get the goods" on their husbands. If a prying wife sees her husband constantly forgets to clear his browsing history and this site pops up all the time, she may be trying to figure out if he posts. Or the lurkers can be giggly girls.
I'm not too worried about the ratio. Many men can gain a lot of information without revealing themselves. And, a lot of women can also benefit from this site.
Shelly ,
I always was one for jumping in with both feet, never thought how cold or deep the water was. Despite that I have no regrets it's done far more good than harm.
I found, from experience, that many, if not the vast majority of "admirers" refuse to say anything about themselves, or show themselves.
I'm not sure if you can view posts without becoming a member, I think you can.
I look at the mtf virtually everyday (which fritters away a lot of time), and although i have been a member for a long time, i only log in very very occasionally,be it for one of my oh so rare replies, or to have a quick look at other forums, or to check personal messages from Teresa, who posts prolifically, and who i have had the pleasure of getting to know at our social meetings.
I need to do better.
Those of us who do are inspiration for those who want to.
We just want to be .. BE.
I don't care about your baggage, or your life burdens. I care about what you care about. In the same way that I don't give a shit about what parts you have. If I like you, I like YOU. I don't give a fig what bits you posses. They are YOUR parts, and so they deserve my worship.
We have a lot of folks who are afraid, dear. A lot of folks who can't come out to themselves, much less the world at large.
The first step is the hardest.
<3
- MM
In most cases, before you can join this forum and participate, you have to say to yourself, "YES, I'm a crossdresser!" It's a big step, and not everybody's ready for that yet.
I "Lurked" for a few months before I joined! I just leaped in full force when I joined! There are about 25,000 members and only 2000 to 3000 that are active so maybe we have lurking members also! This is the best place to gather info and experiences of what we do and are about! If you are lurking and thinking about joining it is worth it and there is no money involved! Just do it! I did and am so glad I did! Hugs Lana Mae
Because I live in an area where it is not very accepting, I can see how some who would be CDers might come on here and lurk. So scared they'd ever get caught so they never become a member. It's not just the pressure of other guys I see, but there's quite a number of women around here that hold transgender to be a curse of humanity and think any who are to be abominations. Imagine some poor lost soul, who has a wife who is outspoken about transgender being so disgusting and making horrible comments about seeing someone dressed. I think there are still many out there living in a situation like this. They steal a few minutes here and there and view a forum just so they feel they are not completely alone or some horrible virus of humanity.
It took me a good while lurking before I gain the courage to join. I had the usual fears that the moment I joined I would be outed to the entire world, and his dog! When it came to choosing a picture for my avatar the camera was so far away i didn't recognise me. It was a good while before I had the nerve to post in the picture section.
So I understand the concerns and fears of those that view from afar. Many are probably like me, dressed for years thinking they are alone in their desires. I can only advise that this is a safe place to be a part of and has helped me and countless others to find the persons we truly are. Take the plunge, join the debate. It'll be one of the best, most rewarding things you'll ever do in your CD'ing journey.
OK, quick reminder
Rights of content "Ridiculing members/non-members, or the manner in which they express themselves. This includes any complaint about the way females, males, transgendered, or any other cross-section of the membership dress, the way they express themselves (such as spelling and language skills,"
So as Esa says Let It GO