Girls and how they react to seeing a CDer

"OMG, it's a man!" This seems to be most often said when a teen girl is with other teen girls. Yet, these same girls have been maturing in an age when they supposedly have become more aware that 'trans' do exist in significant numbers. Some such girls seem to be far more tolerant, especially as they age. Young female SAs seem to be more than just willing to sell to transwomen, but to actually enjoy being with same and encouraging in the process.

Is there a magic age when those with negative Trans thoughts and beliefs may start to change to positive ones? If you follow me so far, what might be your take on this and why?

It is probably the effect of being in a group, individually they may react differently and be more accepting in their reaction. Being surprised and reacting on the spur of the moment is usual. Personal knowledge of someone who cross dresses would I imagine make them more tolerant, not just age related.
Robbie

SA's like to make sales. Most don't care who they sell to. They are often very accommodating.

Jenny,
There are several sides to this thread, first is the obvious one that they may have never seen a CDer before , they won't act like that alone but with a group it's so predictable a group of young girls will be vocal about it . The next point many of that age might have brothers , boyfriends etc and that age many associations might be sexual if they caught them wearing female items . ( I know this one from experience !) Another point is they are possibly too young to grasp what CDing and being TG actually means .

I would doubt it's a reaction in a detrimental way , it's possibly a new experience and something they will have to come to terms with in this modern generation . If they go into sales or sevice industries they will be trained to deal with these situations . I have to admit a young girl serving me in a tool store yesterday did get a fit of giggles , the SA standing next to me had served me before so she was trying to settle her down , I didn't have a problem with it she has to learn how to deal with people as we all did at some point .

I find the same reaction to my dressed husband from groups of teenage boys, in fact, they are more vocal than the girls. I know my husband would rather be clocked by a group of teen girls than a group of teen boys.

I agree with Teresa that in general these young girls do not have negative trans thoughts or opinions. I think it is a group mentality to pick on someone who is different when they are in a group like that.

I know this from raising girls they are more vocal in groups than by themselves. One of my daughters could probably care less but one would say something and then the third one has on blinders and she would probably not even notice it was a male in a dress.
I do think you are right that the general public is maturing some toward trans folks in what they say and think and as you said the more that they age.

When it comes to women and to what degree (if any) they are accepting of crossdressers and transgender individuals in general, I think that much of it comes down to plain NIMBYism ("Not In My Back Yard"). They might enjoy watching RuPaul's Drag Race, religiously follow the many YouTube videos featuring male makeup artists glamming it up, or hanging on every word of advice from gay fashion gurus, but when it hits closer to home and involves seeing a husband, boyfriend, or even a brother donning a dress and acting "girly", in many cases the "Ewww!" factor kicks in pretty quickly.

As for teenage girls, yes, they are a complicated bunch, and they are often conflicted by their budding sexuality until they have that part of their lives all sorted out. How else to explain their being "boy crazy" once the hormones from puberty start to flow, being fascinated by "bad boys", and yet at the same time being such rabid fans of the ubiquitous "boy bands", Justin Bieber, Shawn Mendes and the like who project a neutered, "safe" and unthreatening version of masculinity that they can still feel comfortable around?

My guess is that they have similar, largely un-informed (and unformed) views of crossdressers and transgender people, and would likely react to them in a far more neutral and accepting fashion if they encountered such an individual one-on-one. Of course, when the pack mentality of a group of teenage girls overrides those individual, more benign instincts, then it becomes a whole different ballgame as some others here have already pointed out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AllieSF

I agree with Teresa that in general these young girls do not have negative trans thoughts or opinions.

---

Well, perhaps not to your face, anyway! There's no way for most to know what those girls are thinking when they just give you a slightly longer than normal look, and then whisper something to their friends once you can't see them anymore. If you're out and about en femme, people might very well be on guard not to say anything that might start an argument.

OTOH, teens are still developing their ability to STFU when they're about to say something inappropriate or offensive. And, many just love to share secrets and go along with whatever they think there peers will accept. With the current climate in many areas of the country being very accepting of racism, xenophobia, homophobia, it's no surprise that many teens feel quite free to express their true feelings no matter how offensive.

Essentially, there's no way to know how any particular girl or group of girls will react. Some don't care, some hate us, and I'm sure a few either know it's no big deal, or maybe even know a crossdresser in their life and support them. MIght not be common, but they're out there, just as those handful of women who love men who crossdress are. Now if there were only a way to find out who they are......

I think it's group behavior. I have found through life males and females of a feather still flock together. Sometimes there is the odd person in the group who will not go along with the group, and, will contest the negativity of the group. But, it seems to be rare unless it is generated due to a personal connection. Unfortunately, I know many people who do not like a particular sexuality, race, creed, color, etc. People just need to confront the bigots. Shame others in the group who say nothing. Educate a person. This crap starts early. My wife, who is an elementary school teacher, sees it as early a kindergarten. Where do you think a five year old learns to hate so early in life.

The girl or boy who blurts out to the crowd is a total idiot seeking approval for their stupidity and rude behavior. There is no time clock ticking down to sane behavior. Some will change their beliefs through interactions. Unfortunately some of those interaction may fortify their beliefs. The old adage about painting everything with a broad stroke. There is some merit to the argument that with age comes maturity. It is not until a person is in his or her twenties that he or she becomes a critical thinker. Before that a person can be molded to conform to the group.

Jenny,
not sure if you go out as jenny or is your thought an observed reaction? I've been going out in SF for almost 7 years and have never had a bad comment. At least to my face. In most encounters, I find the girls to be more curious than judgmental. Once you actually get into a conversation, their questions flow out with the normal, why, how, when.
Rach

There is no magical number. There are haters of all ages. It's just that adults are more subtle.

Some people are nice, and some aren't. Sadly, there is no way of knowing who will be which.

Just like there isn't a magical age for us to discover our own selves. There's no age that a GG becomes supportive.
SA's are there to make a sale. On I know has a little brother that dresses.

I've had a few lady-friends, all of which in the Air Force Reserves like myself, said they were tempted to "take me home".
But I know they wouldn't literally since they know my wife and all, lol.

A few lady-SA's have complimented on my heels and ability to walk in them.

Those are really the only reactions from girls that I've noticed.

Friends have told me that they saw women checking me out upon walking off stage and around the tables after doing stand-up.
And believe me, seeing me do en-fem stand-up, people know I'm a guy.

As far as a specific age of acceptance, I have no clue.

:)

Alone, most girls are apprehensive at least, in a group they have support from others and will ask questions and joke about the disguise.

I have found a few girlfriends this way and I think they relate to the rest of the pack about their conquest with the odd girl in the group.

When I rented a house I had four flatmates all girls that encouraged me to be the fifth girl especially on weekends and outings.

Ah teenage girls, don't you just love 'em? One's fine, a pair is OK but if you see a group then run like hell until they are 20 :)

Jenny,

I don't think there's a magic age so much other than it's more to do with leaving school and those almost tribal friendships that exist start to break up.

There's huge pressure on the young to conform driven relentlessly by social media. In ridiculung others you enhance your collective identity. You belong, are part of that circle.

That's not to say there's a sudden and dramatic sea change in behaviour upon leaving school more a drift towards adulthood. The world of work brings new realisations. University forces new friendships and a differing mindset.

I've experienced that "OMG that's a man" moment from one of a group of three teeagers. That was all it was. The moment passed. I've also had an "Oh look!" from a 60 something GG who blurted it out in sheer surprise at seeing me.

We'll get these reactions from across the age spectrum. Young girls in particular are however more likely to act collectively as a means of social bonding.

And if the crossdresser walked over to the girl group, looked several in the eye and said "you wear what you like what's wrong with me doing the same. I don't criticize you, does it make you feel good to hurt my feelings? Think about it, it's just clothes, my choice; how is my CDing any different than you wearing a male football jersey or a red or blue T shirt.

Of course no CD has the ba**s to do this but some and maybe all of the girl group just might be ashamed of their making fun and if they really thought about it they might change their thinking to it's an individuals right to wear what they want.

Deebra,
I think some would have what it takes or the confidence to take on a group of girls , I'm not sure if your reply might give an expected answer back if you ask what's wrong with me wearing the same clothes ?
Given the right situation I could see you could have some fun with them ! It is surprising if you do break the ice and go and chat to them how interested they are in what we do , many have no idea how much we know and how much prep work we put in . I know many are surprised we can walk well in heels , many of them still can't .

My daughters have been taught to respect others no matter what they look like. Whether they are male, female, or plain different. I have seen my daughters go up to a homeless vet and shake his hand thanking them for their service. I have seen them talking to a disfigured man. I am so grateful my daughters see a person as a person not anything odd.

Kelsey

I suppose it depends a lot on which teens or pre-teens you encounter, and how you act when out, and how well you can pass. I don’t usually have problems from them. But when I go out en-femme, I am calm and confident and relaxed, and I pass fairly well, so even if they suspect I am transgender, they refrain from speaking out in case they were wrong. As a test, I have had my daughter trail behind me as we go through a mall, with her quietly observing people’s reactions, or lack thereof, after I pass through. She says virtually no one was reacting badly after I was no longer looking their way.

I have had teen/tween kids ask if I was a guy, somewhat hesitantly. My usual response is, “I used to be, but I’m getting better now.”

Did have one interesting reverse of your scenario though. I was at a mall, in Macy’s, shopping en-femme. Had just arrived at the store and desperately needed to use the bathroom. So I rushed into the ladies bathroom, going past two teen/tween girls who were playing on their phones in the outer lounge area, most likely waiting for their mom. They said nothing on my way in, but as I left, they clearly looked me over carefully, and called out from behind me, “We love you!”.

Over all, and as has been stated or alluded to, it seems that its the group or pack mentality that bolsters the 'calling out' comments. Makes sense. I had planned to do a follow up post that two of you have already picked up. I will still do it.

Jenny, your post helps answer the question of why I avoid going out dressed in Vanilla land? I never have to guess what's behind the odd looks, comments, or giggles when I'm out. Because in drab, there AREN'T ANY!:heehee:

1) competition - first one to see something unusual and call it out, gets brownie points
2) now there's something to use 3,000 words on discussing in social context (my daughter will put it out as "what's the harm" or "each to their own" etc for the group to chew on)

The trick is for us to smile, be polite, maybe great them, let them know we are friendly, then eventually they will educate their friends