Something My Wife Said Surprised Me

We were discussing various things several days ago and my wife was trying to get a grip on why exactly I was dressing. I stumbled around a bit with the wording, I didn't want to compare it to taking a hit, wouldn't know how that feels anyway. I explained that when I dressed, did good makeup, put on a wig, and looked in the mirror I didn't see myself, with just a little imagination on my part I could see a beautiful woman. I told her it melted my heart and sent an electric shock right into the pleasure center of my brain. I went on to tell her that I just found it incredibly fun and interesting.

Just the other night we were talking about things and some issues my wife was working through. She told me she wished she had something like I had, "what do you mean?" I asked. She was jealous of my dressing, she wished she had something that excited her like that.

Its a very interesting point your wife makes Sarah, i always say I feel gifted to have Becky as through her I have had soem amazing experiences and continue to do so...i think your wife is spot on..

I hope your wife finds something that excites her as much as dressing does for you.

You're right Sarah, tht's exactly what it is for me, a little, never diminishing, pleasure hit and I feel so lucky to have it.

Well, work on it find something exciting that stimulates your wife. :-)

Sarah, I understand what you mean about the pleasure center of the brain. I get this feeling of satisfaction that I just cannot describe.

Is this that feeling that we can't explain? Sounds like it. Its the why do I enjoy this feeling. Dunno why but I do.

Just my opinion, maybe she wishes you are as excited by looking at her as much as you are excited by your perception of the beautiful woman you see in yourself.

It’s great that you are honest with her but keep in mind that women really don’t want competition when it comes to their spouse, even if is the spouse himself.

Rekindle that romance that brought you two together. As much as I love dressing I'd give it up totally if it sounded like my wife was not ok with it or she thought I was ignoring her because of it. This dressing can control and destroy a marriage if we let it. Keep her involved and keep the romance turned on.

Sarah,
Your wife said two things out loud, and two silently. The silent ones were that she wants to talk, and that she accepted your dressing as a path to a legitimate need, and the out loud one was that she had the same need, and wished to be able to find a way to fulfill it.

It is all good news, and seems clearly like the time to take the focus off you, since you are now free to meet your need, and put it on her, and on being the attentive partner and helping her both know herself and be helped by you to enjoy herself more fully!

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Originally Posted by sarah_hillcrest

.........snip( I explained that when I dressed, did good makeup, put on a wig, and looked in the mirror I didn't see myself, with just a little imagination on my part I could see a beautiful woman. I told her it melted my heart and sent an electric shock right into the pleasure center of my brain. I went on to tell her that I just found it incredibly fun and interesting.

Just the other night we were talking about things and some issues my wife was working through. She told me she wished she had something like I had, "what do you mean?" I asked. She was jealous of my dressing, she wished she had something that excited her like that.

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i know this moment myself....was a little scary the first time i realized that.

does she like to pamper herself in the way you do when you dress ? mine does not, she likes to bowl, she says i have my thing and she has her's

i think for the most part we tend to overdress, high heels, short dresses, long flowing wigs and oversized forms. like we are a debutante young women, slightly overdone...

most women dress nice for work if they are in a more professional setting but for the most part we all tend to dress very casual in general.

so would your spouse like to have a reason to dress nicer by going to special events ? trans friendly societal events come along in all sorts of occasions, something to give her an reason to ramp up a little fancier. maybe, you would have to discuss this further with her to find her something like you described so she need not be jealous....

Sarah, your first paragraph is spot on. I enjoy your post and how you perceive things.

Lots of good ideas and feedback as usual.

Char GG, your feedback again is razor sharp. It's unspoken, but I'm kind of thinking there is a bit of competition between us. For instance, when I first started buying clothes I had no idea what I was doing and was scarred. I'd go to the thrift stores and if I saw a dress that looked big I'd rush up to the counter with it, I bought a size large dress that was no where near fitting. When she looked through my clothing stash the first time and was ticked off I remember one the things she said, "THERE IS NO WAY YOU WEAR A LARGE!" I've also noticed a strong surge in her beauty game in the last couple years.

Phili, I appreciate your insightful comments as well. She lacks confidence and I really try to giver her some, I think you're exactly right. I need to talk her into doing a shoot with me, the kind where she's the model.

Many years ago my wife and I had "The Talk." She said she "could not understand why a man would wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it." I know how I feel when I wear women's clothing. Yes, there is a sense of excitement. It brings comfort. It brings stress relief. However, I don't know the true answer to "Why." I told her the truth, which is "I do not know why I do what I do!" I leave it at that.

I don't if is the correct place. So far wife is natural About my dressing but it is the thing that balances my moods. The longer between the harder it can be to live with me

Yes, balance is important. It is very easy to get so caught up in the excitement of our hobbies that we ignore our wives. It really helps if you can find things to do together, such as going to chick flicks like "Mamma Mia 2," if she is into movies like that. 2/3 of the viewers of that movie are women.

Sarah, that photo shoot idea is good one. Even if it doesn't give her the charge she's talking about, it is something you together, with her as the focus.
When the time seems right, remind her of her wish (that she had something that moved in a similar fashion). Let her know that you very much want that for her too, and that you'd love to explore ideas with her.

I definitely feel like my wife is along the lines of your original post's second paragraph. She keeps jumping from hobby to hobby, and none of them seem to have a lasting effect on her mood while I find dressing and running to definitely put me in better spirits.

Just thought I'd share what happened.

Told my wife yesterday that I needed her help. I had a video I wanted to shoot and I needed her to get prettied up and appear on it, also wanted to shoot some photos at a particular spot and needed a model. She replied, "Don't you want to get prettied up for the video," in a somewhat sarcastic way.

"No not today, your the pretty one anyway," I replied.

There was a few second pause, "Yeah, you're right, but you try," she said and we cracked up.

A little bit later I almost blew it, she did a fantastic job on her makeup but put on a rather plain sleeveless top, "That's what you're wearing," I said. I had really expected her to break out a more feminine and pretty top, she was agitated and explained that it was hot and we were going to a park where there would be walking and if I wanted to trade out my T-shirt for a lace top with long bell sleeves I could go right ahead. Opps.

It was so funny, we got to the location and she didn't want to speak on the video, and I had to encourage her and when she did it was perfect, she looked great and did such a good job. We had a great time, went too another really beautiful place and took some amazing photos. I told her I was coming back here as Nancy one day and she didn't say anything, not sure if she believed me or not. I haven't showed her any of my pictures from out yet.