Told SO I want to be a girl.
Hey girls,
It’s been a while since I’ve been on here so I thought I would check in to share my latest story/updates.
So for a bit of background, I’ve been openly CDing at home for the last year or so since, what I would call, an “early-life crisis” (mid 20s), where I basically broke down mentally, couldn’t cope with life and became extremely depressed to the point where I was put on anti-depressant medication.
I had always had a slight interesting in wearing women’s clothing growing up, but this breakdown really brought my CDing habits to the forefront as I’m assuming, a way of escaping my every-day life. I was not sure at this point if the CDing urges were brought on by the new medication or the breakdown, but either way it was the only way for me to feel happy. Fast-forward a year and here I am, medication free now for 2 months, and the urges to be a girl are so strong that I feel if I do nothing about it, I will surely slip back into that depressed state.
Luckily for me, I have always had a very accepting and supportive SO (couldn’t ask for anything better) who has stuck by me and happily helps me out with my CDing. But that’s the thing, I have only ever told her that I like to dress and on the times she has asked if I feel like/want to be a girl, I would always say no, telling her that I just find the clothing comfortable etc. Now I’m not sure if I was in denial, but I honestly thought that CDing would be enough for me. Lately though, every time I dress and look in the mirror I I cannot be happy because all I can see is my ugly male body showing through, unable to truly be who I feel. It is now at the point where I can’t hold it in any longer and I had to tell my SO.
The other day we were lying in bed having an argument about something or rather unimportant when somehow the conversation turned to how we didn’t share enough of our fantasies with each other. We were both quite honest and had a good laugh, but as the conversation was ending, I just blurted out, “I need to tell you something”. Now every time I say these words she knows I’m about to drop a bomb of some kind and I could see her physically tense up in anticipation of what I was about to say so I just said it. “Baby, I want to be a girl.” and..... nothing! She just says that as long as I love her and never leave her she will support whatever I want to do! I couldn’t believe it! It really just goes to show that it is possible to be loved for who you are, not what you are. Amazing.
So now I am starting HRT (hopefully next week or 2) and I can finally start making my way towards what I truly want to be with my SOs support and approval. It is definitely nerve-racking waiting for my first prescription and I have had non-stop butterflies, but I know that once I start I will not look back.
I also just wanted to say thank you to this community who helped inspire me in the early days and made me feel like not such a freak, sometimes :P
Thanks Girls! See ya on the T forums lol
Kas.
