First appointment with my gender therapist this week.

What's that saying about a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step? This week I meet with my gender therapist for the first time. Since I was little I have denied and compartmentalized. I've tried to convince myself that I just had a panty fetish and that I didn't want or need to be a woman and probably a million other lies I told myself to feel more "normal". The past few years the dysphoria has become unbearable and I am finally doing something about it. No clue what is next but it's time to find peace and make the noise stop. My lovely wife keeps trying to give me herbal estrogen supplements, bless her heart. But I will let the doctors work their magic and see what happens next. Wish me luck!

Kindest Regards
Brooke

Good luck! The good news is you're normal, it's just taking a while for the rest of the world to catch up.

Thank you Rhonda!

Congratulations! And yes! I agree with Rhonda, what's normal? Some hundred years ago was very normal and accepted, more than that, part of people's life and a need to have slaves, today is an aberration and try to forget by history and politicians.

I always say, in mat be 20 or 30 more years to talk about trans people will be as weird as today talk about slavery (sometimes I doubt of the 30 years and think will be more)...

Some bad news, don't expect therapist will give you answers, they don't do that but will help you to fi d them or at least to learn to live without them, and be happy, I hope your wife keeps the journey with you but remember, she needs time and patience. I keep happily married with same last 42 years wife. Things are not the same, of course! I'm a woman now and she's a wife without a husband but with a better person at her side and as we need time to transition from being an ugly man yo be a beautiful woman, our love needs time to come back to the basic of love, unconditionally....just be patience on her if you want her be patience on you....

Devi

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Originally Posted by SoBrooke

But I will let the doctors work their magic and see what happens next. Wish me luck!

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This attitude scares me a bit. At least when it comes to cross sex hormonal treatment (aka HRT), many doctors can be clueless, or put it more politely are not on top of the current best practices on transgender Healthcare. You see, they didn't learn about it in school. You do need a doctor through your transition but you can't expect every endocrinologist to provide you with best care for you. It's not the same as to see a cardiologist. You need to be involved in your own healthcare and take time to learn and research and consult with your doctors. But I do wish you good luck.

Thank you Katya. My hope is an experienced gender therapist will have the knowledge to recommend an endocrinologist that is savvy with transgender healthcare. That said, we have some great resources in Seattle that identify providers that are experienced, if a referral is eventually given by the therapist I will definitely verify they are experienced with trans health. I am very intentional with everything that goes into my body and I don't what want to make a mistake.

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Originally Posted by Devi SM

Some bad news, don't expect therapist will give you answers, they don't do that but will help you to find them...

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This!
And to be fair, it's not really "bad" news. It just means that the answers, the clarity that you are seeking will come from you. The therapist's skills are required to get us past those barriers that are a frustrating part of our human psyche. Being honest with yourself, and with your therapist will help things progress, but even so, understand that the progress will likely come in fits and starts.

Congratulations on taking this oh-so-important first step. :)

Yes Brooke, here in the Pac Northwest, Seattle in particular, we have some excellent resources. I am glad you have taken your first critical step and sport an open mind. It will help you immeasurably, as will your wonderfully supportive wife. You are blessed! Her understanding will be important particularly should you proceed toward transition. Your therapist will have information regarding spousal support groups which will help her immensley. Good luck, and keep us aprised of your progress. We are always here for you.