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My wife and I went to Buffalo N.Y. for the weekend shopping.
i have not dressed in almost 2 1/2 years.
Whereas i used to not feel nervous shopping for women's
clothes in drab, i couldn't muster up the nerve to try on
some women's shoes, it felt like i was still deep in the close
What happened?
I'd say you were just out of practice. Was there a particular reason why you had not dressed for a long time? If you tried to quit, only to find you can't really do that, the whole mindset must have left you, and perhaps your confidence as well. As we all know though, it will be back.
Giselle, I do think you are just out of practice. I am sure you will be back shopping, it really is like tying your shoes. I suggest you try again soon.
Unless you need an SA to help you, nobody will likely be aware what you are doing. Go for it next time. A new pair of shoes may be just the inspiration you need to start dressing more regularly.
Giselle, your just thinking the worst outcome in your head at the moment, now if I was a passerby seeing you trying some shoes on in drab, Hmmm let me think, actually not a lot and 5 seconds after I'd passed you, you'd wouldnt even be a memory, Im certainly not going to stop and ask you why ?, Im not going to video you and put it on youtube, believe me nobody cares these day, and from your point of view its not against the law (or is it in Oshawa?), lol. Just enjoy, try them shoes on girl, nothing is going to happen.
Simple stage-fright. Professional performers experience the same apprehensions after a long layoff. There is only one way to get over stage-fright and that is to get back on the stage.
Giselle, It's harder to try on shoes because you are out in the open as opposed to dresses where you are in a dressing room.
I am betting that it has something to do with being in Buffalo! Lol.
I'll echo the out-of-practice advice that's been given here. Don't worry about being back in the closet; you'll eventually turn the handle again and find your way out. And just hang out here and interact a bit more as well. The girls in this very safe space give such sound advice and constantly inspire others, especially during bouts of doubt.
It can be like riding a bike -- it come back to you once you go and do it. I felt very uncomfortable recently when I went shopping for something feminine, but as I got going I relaxed. Didn't totally lose the nervousness entirely, but got what I wanted.
Why haven't you dressed in so long?
Next were you comfortable shopping before?
I understand all the feeling's. It can be hard at times to block out the noise. Just concentrate on the task at hand.
It takes a while to be okay with everything. To realize that the world didn't end just because you wore a dress.
Although that really depends on your individual situation doesn't it?
Life is serious enough I think everybody needs a little whimsy.
Don't see why you didn't try them on anyway its not like anyone around you is going to care what you do.
You just got out of practice.
Dress regularly and you don't notice it.
I know exactly how you feel, a while back I was at Nine West and everything was eighty percent off but they were also final sale. I couldn't take the chance of spending the money and they wouldn't fit but I also for some reason couldn't mustard up the courage to try on shoes in male mode. I've did it a couple of times in Walmart but for some reason that day it just didn't feel right and I lost out on some amazing shoes at a low price. It's just strange, one day I'm walking the streets dressed going to a crossdressing store and the next day I can't step foot into the ladies department at Walmart.
Giselle did not indicate the store. I use to patronize Payless where all the shoes were out to see. It would seem it would be easy to grab a pair and slip into them, especially with a wife along. However, if you're at some place more upscale where one sits down and gets waited on by a sales associate who retrieves the correct size from a storeroom, that is a different story. I think people get cold feet because it is violating societal norms and customs, and, the person is wary of a potential adverse reaction. I use to buy my heels at Halloween under the guise of getting a costume together. I realized most seasoned sales associates were totally aware of my ruse, but, I was fooling myself. Once I knew my size for a particular heel, I ordered on line. No delivery person really knew what was being delivered in a generic Payless box.
Don't worry about it. You may have dodged a bullet by not having to do a border crossing en femme. I'm sure it would have turned out alright but it might have caused you some anxiety