So, prompted by another thread by Sabine about those who are full time and how do you cope with the routine, do you actually have any regrets, are are there things you'd do differently. Asking for a friend.
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So, prompted by another thread by Sabine about those who are full time and how do you cope with the routine, do you actually have any regrets, are are there things you'd do differently. Asking for a friend.
What do you mean by "the routine"?
I could say that I regret entering into a heavy, demanding, and expensive routine, but every now and then I have had to take a break no matter what those around me say. But the truth is, I'm not willing to give up my life as a woman.
In my experience over the years, Helen, few of the girls who now live full have much interest in visiting us here anymore!:tongueout
At one point, I was heading towards 75/25. But various aspects of life kept getting in the way, and now days I am really lucky if I am at 50:50. As such, I find I look forward to the routine, if you are referring to the time devoted to getting oneself fully presentable. Also, over the years, I seem to have gotten quite efficient. I can complete my makeup in 30 minutes or so. Its not a bit burdensome.
Helen, a bit like Kim I was aiming for a manageable full time (I can't cross this bridge with my Father, who has dementia) but have not hit that target. My professional life and virtually all day to living are lived as I want to be but some clubs/ social elements aren't, though I have told certain members.
My routine isn't arduous, minimal make up and a shave takes 20 minutes or so. Choosing what to wear takes far longer.
Regrets - not ripping the plaster off.
Do you remember us meeting in Betys y coed. I was on a walking weekend with an old friend. I had intended to be me that weekend but failed even though he had met Helena before. Fast forward to post covid and same friend we went to Dumfries and Galloway and the whole of that long weekend I was me and I was so happy, despite one slip when I went to breakfast in our charming bed and breakfast sans wig.
Well sherry it's because you all are like stuck in a Time Warp. Same stuff over and over it's kind of boring.
As in this question it's coming from the point of a crossdresser who hasn't gone past dressing.
You get to a point were going out in public dressed is just an everyday thing. Just part of life.
You don't have to get all dolled up every time you go out. It takes me about 15 minutes to do my makeup unless I'm trying to do something like put on false eyelashes. Then I'm different than most people as I don't have a beard and have almost zero body hair.
I don't have the issue but I would suggest your friend look into permanent hair removal.
The other key thing would be your name whatever you start with you're going to be stuck with. I realized this after I first started going out. I had already started making a lot of friends I asked one of them who managed the bar about changing my name. She said you can call yourself anything you like honey but I will always call you Jean.
Love Jean
I'm nowhere near full time, but I'd like to get to maybe 75:25 at home only, since I don't go out en femme.
I have a question for the full-timers: Do you identify as trans women? Have you also gone through any gender-affirming medical treatments? Or do you still consider yourselves crossdressers? I've been confused about this, and I suspect that the general public - outside the trans spectrum - are even more confused, since so much misinformation is out there in the media. Thanks!
In Sabine's thread the routine refers to the process of shaving, putting on makeup, generally getting ready to go out and you have to add to that the cleaning afterwards.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheryl T
Larissa,
I spend 100% of my time at home dressed and 90% of my time out in public en femme. I consider myself a crossdresser but today's LGBTQ community would label me as trans even though I have no plans to transition.
The problem with living full time as a woman when your aren't one is, once you start, you have to keep it up every day. Every day you have to put on your boobs, put on your hip and butt padding and your wig. And every day you have to shave your face and at least put on beard cover. You might have to shave and apply beard cover multiple times each day. Every day. You can't show up at work as a woman one day and as a man the next. And you have to do some serious work on your voice and speech patterns.
As nice as it might seem, that's too much of a commitment for me.
Fiona, thanks for your post. I don't go out (yet) but your situation is what I would think could be in my future. But I would only be about 75% en femme while out, since I don't think I could ever come out to my kids or grandkids.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiona_44
I?m both full time and part time. Lingerie 100%. The rest about 80-20. Going out is difficult, small, nosy town, but I?m underdressed when going out.
I am a full-time girl, 24/7, 365 days a year.
Back when I was living as a male, I could wake up 15 minutes before it was time to leave for work, do the 3 "S's", throw on clothes and race out the door.
Now, I'm up about 2 hours ahead of work, just to have enough time to prepare myself and pick out clothes for the day! And yes, I am a transwoman.
Is it sometimes a PITA? you betcha, but this is just a small part of being a woman, so I deal with it. Even though there are days I WISH that I could jump out of bed, put on deodorant, get dressed and dash. But I've come to far on my journey to slack off like that.
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The problem with living full time as a woman when you aren't one is, once you start, you have to keep it up every day.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
Too true! Once you start, you can't half-arse it! You can't appear as "her" one day, and then a shaggy, manly unkempt half-thing the next!
Do you (general pronoun) want to appear femme, even if you aren't trans? Then you'd darn well better be consistent in your appearance! And if you ARE trans, then you had better make sure that you are committed to the daily routine of being feminine! It isn't just about pretty clothes, there is a beauty, hygiene, grooming regime to adhere to.
If you are Trans, or just want to appear femme 24/7, then you HAVE to be committed! It's like being pregnant: you either are, or you ain't; there is no middle ground.
In addition, I haven’t shaved in over four decades. My daily makeup takes five minutes. I sometimes don’t bother with makeup if I am just going for a few groceries or the home improvement store.Quote:
Originally Posted by Larissa Cassandra
There is a difference between full time crossdressing (presenting female) and transitioning because you identify as female. When I couldn’t do it any longer I quit pretending to be something I wasn’t. I didn’t have to learn how to be female, I only had to stop pretending to be a male. What might appear to be crossdressing for a transsexual is actually experiencing life authentically.
My life, story and transition is unique to me. Everyone has their own version. One is not better than another, just different. All human beings have value and there shouldn’t be any confusion about that, even if they are different.
24/7 here was the choice I made and things are fine.
No regrets.
Jeri Ann, this is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.:bighug:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeri Ann
Hugs,
Larissa
Wow, Jeri Ann hit the nail on the head.
I'm about five months into living full time, and about a year and change since I made the decision to do so.
It wasn't a hard transition for me. No close family, no kids, no employer or co-workers to worry about. Just some supportive friends.
Regrets? Not really, other than wishing my personal circumstances permitted it sooner.
Is there some extra time used up every day? Sure. But I often dragged my feet anyway, changing back into my "male mask", so the time is basically a wash.
I don't pretend that I have had it nearly has hard as others. I've been very, very fortunate that I could just slip into my true self with minimal trouble.
The best part? Finding clothes that fit off the rack. My co-workers used to chuckle and give some good natured ribbing about how I found clothes that fit "you shop in the kids section?". In reality, I had a lot of stuff tailored, especially business clothes, suits and pants. Now? Everything just fits.
Op was not clear on this, full time crossdresser or a CD that has transitioned?Quote:
Originally Posted by Larissa Cassandra