From the beginning part 1

Hello all and thank you for letting me join this group.

I wanted to share my true story which started at the age of 15 when I was as always around my next-door neighbour's house with their sons that I grew up with. We were as usual upstairs playing on their Atari and when it was their dinner they would go downstairs to eat with their parents and I would stay upstairs on my own. This one day I was playing and they were downstairs when one of them shouted up to look for something which meant I had to go into their parents' bedroom again not an unusual thing. I went into the bedroom and looked around and remember seeing the large chest of draws, curiosity got to me and I opened the top drawer only to be greeted with lots of silk and lace panties only seen on models in the catalogues, what seemed like minutes but was only a few seconds of me hurriedly glancing and quickly feeling some of the panties I could see in my immediate glance then I shut the draw quick and hurried downstairs back to my friends. That was the seed planted, hormones racing as a normal 15-year-old boy my mind wandered over the next few days about what I had seen and if I could find a way to look again. That really wasn't a problem as I was always around there but then I started to be more aware of myself looking on the washing line, the radiators etc to see if I could see any lingerie. I was upstairs alone playing again maybe a week later and as normal they went for dinner so I had my chance to look again, I sneaked quietly into the room and went to the chest of drawers and opened that top draw, I carefully lifted bits and looked at panties of all shapes and Materiels, bras and even spotted some suspender belts. I was not breathing and remember feeling a rush of excitement looking at my friend's mum's lingerie and couldn't believe she wore such sexy stuff, but realised I only had a very short time to look and quickly closed the drawer and sneaked back into my friend's room. I was hooked and was then thinking about what she had all the time, so I was now planning when I could get another look and feel and wondered what the draw below had for its content. It wasn't very long and again the same scenario happened and I was again sneaking in and opening the drawer of treasures again. breathless I held up some lacy white bikini panties and then found some thongs and a very silky pair of French knickers. I then opened the draw below and found it had more bras and other lingerie along with her tights, I had a very quick look and feel and then found she also had stockings in there as well. My heart was racing and thumping out of my chest but I quickly closed the drawers, then without thinking I quickly grabbed the white lacy bikini panties and put them in my pocket. I remember being extremely nervous whilst playing with my friends until I went back home to get ready for bed and school. That night alone in my room I had a pair of white lacy panties in hand I was studying them and feeling them. I was in awe and was imagining my neighbour in them who I was now seeing in a different light. After all the excitement I began to wonder what they feel like and that was when I decided to slip them over my feet and pull them up my legs feeling the lace fabric sliding against my fairly hairless legs for the first time and then the panties come into contact with my bottom and fit snugly against my bottom. They felt absolutely amazing and that is when I believe I became completely hooked on women's lingerie.

Welcome to this forum. Your story is a vivid description of your introduction to women's undergarments. I certainly had similar discoveries, but I was only about 5 years old. I also found the texture of the fabrics of my mother's things fascinating and quite frankly I wondered why she wore such soft and smooth fabrics. It seemed odd to me. Of course I had previously seen her in those clothes as well as in the nude. But at that point I did not know that most females wear those things rather than the coarse fabric underwear that I and other boys wore. Why, why, why?

It can be a start to crossdressing when a boy puts one of those garments on and finds out just how wonderful they feel. Made me wonder why boys don't wear similar underwear. The mind wanders and curiosity surges, especially for a boy that is about 5 years old.

Sadly that does not seem to actually be the start. The fact is many boys just don't do that or, more commonly, even if they do try them on, whether mother's or sister's, the reaction is very different and they promptly take them off, curiosity satisfied, and rarely ever try them on again. They may feel something akin to guilt at doing something that they were not supposed to do. Afterall, boys don't dress like that. Why the difference? Even today, nobody really knows but it quickly turns into a fascination that may last a lifetime or may continue for awhile and then is abandoned for a more "normal" male behavior and never done again except as a joke.

One thing does appear to be true. Not all boys (or girls) are the same and the personalities they develop can vary all over the place to the point where "normal" becomes quite a relative thing and has no absolute. The fact is, boys are not the only ones that explore the other world - girls do it as well and probably pretty much for the same mysterious reasons. Something mysterious is present in all children that makes them wonder, in a very serious fashion, why this is and what it all means. It is the time when differences in identity appear and become expressible outwardly. Watch young children playing and you will immediately see vast differences in how they interact and who they associate with and who they tend to stay further away from. It is the appearance of gender differentiation and it does not always align consistently with the sex of the child. Where it goes from there is very difficult to predict because children are sort of like Silly Putty and their life is one great exploration of the world. Eventually the putty becomes more solid but it is never truly solid. It can always be re-shaped, apparently, at will, but how much will is actually involved and how much is simply normal pathways of development that turn out to create a human population that shows mind-boggling diversity along so many dimensions? Gender science is a small part of that development. Again, welcome. It is a grand journey.

Similar to Gretchen, I remember admiring the clothing of girls in Kindergarten and wishing that I could wear the floral blouses and pretty skirts they wore. But I also became fascinated with panties, girdles, and bras from paging through Sears and Penney’s catalogues and then rummaging through my mother’s dresser drawers and trying on her things.

I agree with Gretchen, that for me, the seed of fascination with, and wanting to be like, girls and women, was planted long before I ever put on panties. But once I did put on panties, I knew I was not just “one of the guys,” even though I had a girlfriend and I was an athlete.

Those teenage years were confusing times. No internet. Didn’t start reading about people like me until I found information on transvestism in the college library, and that just made me feel like a deviant.

I didn't want to be like I was. I felt guilty and ashamed of my attraction to feminine things, and tried scrupulously to avoid them, and yet, they always seemed to find me, and eventually I would give in. Occasionally with disastrous, humiliating results.

Hi April, I have felt ashamed also and over the years had spells when I have not indulged but then the want always comes back. I will post more of my journey in the next post

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Hi Nancy and Gretchen That is incredible that you had such early memories and feeling at that age. I also have looked back at small memories at earlier times that have been recognised only in later life with full understanding, before this, I just brushed them off as a young child just messing around as they do.

Started as a10 yr old. Tried on my mums tights . Things developed from there. Before that like Nancy was fascinated by lingerie worn by models in catalogues.Also the pretty dresses worn by young girls at weddings etc.I could not understand myself or my feelings at such a young age.Thanks for sharing your story. Look forward to reading pt2.

It always seems to be that one item. For me it was pantyhose (still is).

I can definitely relate. My first experience was similar to yours, except much earlier. Two sisters lived next door. One day, we were just kid playing, when they began playing dress up. At the time, I didn?t think much about it, but thought why not. The instant I slipped on a pair of pantyhose, I was hooked. I?d never felt anything so fantastic. To this day, pantyhose, thigh highs, or nylon stockings are still #1.

I have a similar story but when I was probably 4 or 5 years old. I think my grandma and maybe mom would wear pantyhose. I think I must?ve brushed up against my grandmas legs and kept touching it out of curiosity. Eventually I remember my mom letting me try on a pair of pantyhose. I was hooked. I remember asking my mom to buy me ones but she was a little hesitant about that. But I was hooked from that point on.

My "awakening" was at age 5, when someone gave a large bag of donated clothes to my mother to take to our church's clothing charity. I found a pretty white petticoat that I knew right away that I had to have. At night, I would put it on for a while, and then stash it under the mattress - until one night I fell asleep, and my mother found me wearing it when she came into the room the next morning. She wasn't upset but took it away saying that "your father won't understand". It wasn't until many years later that I realized that SHE understood something about me that others didn't. Which is probably why, as she would be getting ready for work, would always put lipstick on my lips when I asked - but that's a whole other story. I wish now that I'd come out as my true self before she passed, and somehow, I believe it wouldn't have come as a surprise...lol!