My wife just offered me her pretty bralette and panties - I don't think I should take

As per the title. I don't think I should take them because she's frustrated that she can't properly get into them at the moment, plus she's got masses of stress.

It's a real shame as they're so pretty with lacy bits, but her seeing me cavorting around in them won't hemp her self image I think.

Shame, as I already know I like them and fit into them: I found out before she and guys here told me to stop borrowing hers.

TBH I now feel embarrassed at the idea of cavorting them in front of her. I'd happily wear them underneath. Being a bralette I can hide it well enough under winter shirts.

I think you are right Samantha. Maybe consider accepting them and keeping them for her. When she can revisit wearing them, she will love you for it.

Emily

Get a second set to match. Couples wearing matching panties and bra. Stay together,,,, I think..

quote, " she's frustrated that she can't properly get into them at the moment".

By that I assume she has gained a little weight, and they are too snug on her? ALARM, don't go near them, this is a worst case, no win situation. Never, never say to a woman that she has gained weight! A CD'er wearing what she can't wear may be even worse in her eyes!

On the other hand, accept them graciously, but don't wear them in front of her.

Thanks for confirmation everyone!

'cavorting"????

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ALARM, don't go near them, this is a worst case, no win situation

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This is great advice from Gillian. Graciously decline. You won't regret it.

Nice gesture from your wife, but it?s my suggestion is for you to give her a smile and a hug, but decline her offer. Give her another hug and whisper in her ear that you?d really like to head out (Black Friday or peruse Amazon) looking to get all your own things. I have all my own things. This along with my supportive wife, is fantastic.

She knows you dress and hands you a bra and panties, sounds like she wants you to wear them, thats like giving an alcholic a pint of beer and saying dont drink it just keep it safe for me.

Hi Debs. In this case as things are our would likely upset the nice position we're in. Me fitting into them will upset her more than she already is.

TBH I need a 12 anyway and they're 14.

So why give them to you ?, she could just put them away in a drawer or a cupboard for now, I think your mis reading the message she is giving you.

I think I know her best. She's feeling unhappy about herself, her weight and energy. I think she offered them perhaps as a cry for a hug, support, distress at how she's changing, etc. If she thought "he looks good in my knickers" that would have knocked her further - and sometimes the most positive of people can want to knock themselves.

I'd suggest talking about it and setting ground rules.

I would graciously decline her offer.

Hi Samantha :hugs:, Some times Life just gets in the way,

Well, today I wore the bralette and pants all day as I visited my mother. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I like the feeling of the bra on my chest and secret knowledge that I'm staying pretty, frilly items of women's clothing. The bralette came off temporarily as we were hugging quite a bit.

I enjoyed being at home alone wearing them only.

I know I agreed to not wear them, given my wife's sensitivities, even after all the comments. What can I say? I have messaged my wife so she knows.

I'll wear them to choir in a while amongst all the men. Nobody will know as they're unpadded.

To me, it was pleasurable but it's also a poke in the eye to me being a "prim and proper" perfect nice boy who always has to care what others think, hiding myself away to my own significant detriment.

Of course I look just a little silly with my rapidly regrowing body hair!

No do not

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Remember when I said we don?t want to fill jealous? That would push me over

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Originally Posted by Samantha51

I think I know her best. She's feeling unhappy about herself, her weight and energy. I think she offered them perhaps as a cry for a hug, support, distress at how she's changing, etc. If she thought "he looks good in my knickers" that would have knocked her further - and sometimes the most positive of people can want to knock themselves.

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Originally Posted by Samantha51

Hi Debs. In this case as things are our would likely upset the nice position we're in. Me fitting into them will upset her more than she already is.

TBH I need a 12 anyway and they're 14.

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Then today this

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I know I agreed to not wear them, given my wife's sensitivities, even after all the comments. What can I say? I have messaged my wife so she knows.

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Wait? What?

Do not wear her stuff!
No easy way out of this...appreciate her and show her lots of loving.
If you can be subtle--maybe invite her along on your exercise walks.
Maybe start eating more healthy yourself. Always appreciate her and compliment her appearance at every opportunity.

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My wife just offered me her pretty bralette and panties - I don't think I should take

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Your opening statement was very telling.

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What can I say? I have messaged my wife so she knows.

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What DID you say? What did she say?

I wish you two all the best.

I said: I've worn the pants and bralette today. Thank you ��

She replied: Hope they fitted x

At bedtime she did say she's not ready to see me in them. I don't know if that means these particular ones (the ones that no longer fit her), or that's she's not ready to see me in a pretty or otherwise bra and panties. She's seen me in my plain white cotton pants - I won't hide wearing those. The pink vapour was rising yesterday. Note dispelled again.

Thank you for your continued good wishes. I shall reply to the other, valid, reactions.

Samantha,

Did you notice that sign you passed a while ago while walking out on the frozen lake? .... it says "Very Thin Ice"

I think you should buy a set of your own, perhaps with your wife's help, and then wash her items and give them back to her. You might recover a few points by saying you really appreciate her gesture, but you do not feel good about wearing her things.
And then from now on ... Don't!

But then again, when you think about it, you already know this.

- Suzie

Samantha, another vote for refusing the items. There is only negativity associated with them.

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Originally Posted by Samantha51

I think I know her best. She's feeling unhappy about herself, her weight and energy. I think she offered them perhaps as a cry for a hug, support, distress at how she's changing, etc. If she thought "he looks good in my knickers" that would have knocked her further - and sometimes the most positive of people can want to knock themselves.

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I've been reading and rereading this thread and have formulated and deleted my thoughts several times. One of the issues I was going to raise has been raised by this comment you made. Maybe, she is feeling insecure because of weight gain and you're throwing in the fact her garments fit you. Not really a woman would want to admit?

However, I think the primary issue is the unknown. You admit to being new to cross dressing; Having bought one package of plain white cotton panties and two dresses you either returned or purged. Other than that it seems your wife discovered you wear her clothing which everyone will say is bad form. Yes, buy your own, but that is not the real issue. The real issue is true self acceptance and her acceptance. Yes, this is new to her. How do you expect her to respond to this revelation? I'm sure she has all those usual questions racing through her head: Is my husband gay? Where is he going with this? What does he expect of me? How do I respond? Who do I confide with? My wife and I went through the same issues forty plus years ago.

If you have read some of my posts I came to the conclusion my prodding and pushing for her acceptance, against her inner feelings, was bordering on mental spousal abuse. My wife said she is wanted no part of it. It was alright with her if I wanted to join a support group. I did some self-assessment and came to the conclusion if my wife accepted my cross dressing, then what I was doing was alright, even though I had not accepted myself yet. I did my self-therapy and came to the conclusion my self acceptance was not dependent on her acceptance or any other person. Yes, it does bring another problem, and that is, how do I deal with the lack of acceptance of others.

So, what do you want from your wife? What do you expect her to accept? From what I have read you seem to be a novice and seeking a partner on this journey. Is her acceptance necessary for your self-acceptance. What is your end game?

I suspect your wife gave you her set of lingerie because she does not know how to handle mixed emotions; Making you happy at her own expense.