Oops

I was out and about en femme in a neighboring town, and was clearly passing well. I decided to go to a restaurant to eat, figuring no one would know me there. While I was in the entry area waiting to be seated, one of my neighbors came out and immediately started talking to me as if nothing were unusual. She introduced me to her daughter, and carried on a conversation as if we were just friends who happened to run into each other. In fact, she seemed more relaxed talking to me dressed as a woman than she ever does when I'm in drab.

I'm not out to very many people (my wife knows but doesn't participate), so this is a bit unnerving. I wish the consequences of the neighborhood knowing weren't there, as it was so comfortable talking to her, I'd like to carry it on. But I'm pretty deeply closeted and have been for the 70 years I've been dressing and am not ready to come out to the neighbors. Maybe it's too late. I hope not. This may be nothing, as she may not spread the word, but if she does it will change how people interact with me, and I don't want that.

I can only take things as they come and hope for the best, so here's to the unknown!

Grace

There is always the possibility that she saw someone she knew, but couldn't connect the face with a name and struck up a conversation in hopes that she would figure out who you were.

Hmm interesting. I guess that blows the theory that people will not recognize us when we dress up.

No point in worrying about that which you can not change. My guess, if it was no big deal to her, she probably won?t run around telling everyone she knows. Either way, may as well own it if someone says something, but I doubt most would say anything to you. It probably changes little.

Sandi

No, she asked me how my wife is doing after her fall that broke her leg. She asked my about whether my band was playing anywhere in the area. There was no doubt she knew who I was. It felt totally natural to talk to her, and I wish there weren't consequences I'm not keen on experiencing-- I'd love to go knock on her door as Grace and continue our conversation, but that's out of the question. I wonder if she's mentioned it to her husband. I have to stop worrying, as it is what it is.

I believe there are many people who share our secret, of whom we are unaware. Perhaps she saw you crossdressed at home some time? Perhaps your wife told her at some point?

I wouldn't worry.

You were doing nothing wrong (or she would not have introduced you to her daughter). Sounds like you owned it when she began chatting with you. You might think about telling your wife about this (before she hears this from someone else)

Hi Grace :hugs:, It can Happen when you least Expect it,

It is what it is NOW, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

Grace,

There's a difference between passing in general, while out in the crowd, and passing up close.

There are a (very) few who can totally fool those who know them when face to face. Many of us can drift by others when there's a load of people to merge in to but when it's that close up we're going to be recognised.

If you don't want this spreading then one option is to bite the bullet and have a polite word with your neighbour asking her to please keep it to herself. I don't want to raise your anxiety levels here but how old was the daughter? School aged? Then that is much harder to contain.

Any of us who go out face the possibility of bumping into someone we know. Some years ago I stopped to read the menu hanging in the window of an eatery. Sat inside dining was someone I though I knew. They saw me and faintly smiled possibly as they saw a cross dresser or they did recognise me. Only got a quick look as I used the menu board to shield me from their gaze.

Met that person a month later at a Christmas do. Not a flicker of recognition so it may not have been them or they didn't recognise me enfemme as it was such a brief encounter. I'll never know. Got my heart going though!

Most likely if she was that comfortable then she already knew and most likely the whole neighborhood knows. And if not, I would not count on her daughter being bound by any type confidentiality! Good luck!

Oh, there?s a chance that the word may get out in the neighborhood. But there is also a chance that it will not matter. The positive is that your neighbor was willing to visit with you in a cordial manner. One less thing to worry about.

I'd assume the word is out. I would not deviate from what I was doing in the neighborhood. I would recommend telling your wife of the encounter so she is not blindsided if approached by her. If you are known to be a good guy in the neighborhood, I suspect she was comfortable enough to strike up a conversation with you.

If your neighborhood is anything like my neighborhood, everyone knows, (and maybe has known for a long time) but doesn't care. If you leave the house, chances are that you will meet someone you know. It sounds like it was a nice encounter so just enjoy your time out,

Don't worry about it girl. I would just let it go

Helen, her daughter is an adult, so that's not something to worry about, at least.

From the sounds of it Grace I suspect she already knew. Possibly she has seen you before or has spoken to someone who already knows. Either way its good that she is not perturbedf at all by the dressing. Is she close friends with your wife, who might have confided in her ?

Maybe a bit like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube after you've squeezed it out, Grace?:battingeyelashes: