Super scary

I was reading the Intro's section and there's a post from BlueTempest who I had the pleasure of meeting last November. I voiced my concerns that we'd not heard from her and had Mel and I frightened off. The reply was;

Helen, It was super scary meeting you and Mel but so worth it!

So this got me thinking, always dangerous, and made me think of what had been my scariest moment(s) in my CD'ing journey and two came to mind.

The first time I met other's from out community was in a hotel function room which was also one of the very first times I'd been in a public puilding. Parking up nearby, walking up the hotel steps and then crossing the lobby's marble floor in heels. Each step sounded like a gunshot to me as did each tread as I descended the marble staircase and expecting someone to come and see what all the noise was which of course didn't happen

Posted about this several times before. The other which springs to mind was first time going shopping. Sat parked up, hand on the car door lever, nervous as hell but determined not to chicken out a minute or so passed, one big deep breath and out of the car. Coat and bag off the back seat, hair straightened over collar, bag on shoulder, remember to lock the car, and start walking across the car park. Butterflies like vultures, convinced everyone was looking at me, entering the shop expecting the security to come running over, pulse rate though the roof. And then........ nothing happened. I was just another shopper. Nerves calmed but yes it was scary.

So what's got your pulse rate up? Had your stomach fluttering? Had your heart going fit to burst when dressed?

My scariest moment was when I came out fully to my wife.
I told her, we talked and talked and cried and cried. Then she was going to a function for her company. It was employees only so I told her I was going to dress fully for her and I would be there when she got home. I was shaking so bad I could barely do my makeup or get dressed. I was ready an hour before she got home and couldn't sit still.
Then the door opened and she saw me for the first time.

The next scariest was my first outing to a mall. It was much easier being among hundreds than it was just being with my wife that first time.

Yes, dressing completely before my (ex) came home one day. It did not go well, but at least it was done. Or more accurately that was the beginning of the end.

I had gone the the Keystone Conference and was driving home. I was about half way home and was very tired from not getting enough sleep over the past 4 days. I decided to pull off the road and take a quick nap in the car before continuing home. I parked the car in the rear parking lot at a gas station. I turned off the car but left the key in the ignition so I could find it when I woke up. Bad mistake. I napped for 30 minutes, woke up, and started the care to finish my return trip.

Unfortunately, the car wouldn't start. I did some quick diagnosis and determined that the battery was dead. Unbeknownst to me, my car kept the running lights on whenever the key was in the ignition, even when the engine wasn't running. How was I going to get out of this mess. I was completely en femme, including a skirt and top, makeup and my wig. After running various solutions through my head, I decided call AAA for a jump, even though I expected to be embarrassed, both because I was dressed like a girl and because I had done a very blond maneuver draining my battery. I decided to such it up.

AAA came and the tow truck operator treated me like any other girl and jumped my battery. He treated me very professionality. No harm, no foul, but still very scary.

Along with Cheryl, telling my then fianc?. I would?ve bet the farm, she?d dash to the nearest door. She didn?t, but we had many hours of discussion, reading, etc. That was many years ago. She?s been totally supportive. Yes, it?s the best thing I ever did. I, pretty much am dressed daily, which includes going out for rides. Living in a small community, I do fear an accident, flat tire, but more, the police. We were out, I?m dressed when this police car came roaring up, almost tailgating me. Yes, the pulse increased. After about a mile, he turned. We both sighed, whew.

In the early days of going out dressed, I'd go to a park, and walk around, avoiding going places where others were. On one of these outings, I accidentally locked my keys in the car. I had to go into a nearby boutique clothing store and ask for a coat hanger so I could fish the lock open through the window. I was blown away that it was a non-event-- I passed! When I was trying to get into the car with the coat hanger, still very self-conscious and fearful, a gentleman walking down the sidewalk past my car stopped and helped me get into the car. At that point I realized I could actually go where there were other people, without the consuming fear of being discovered.

I had countless scary moments like u described in my first, week long, trips to T events in Alabama, Minneapolis, and Vegas. Too many to mention or even recall now, tho.:heehee:

But, I'll never forget being alone inside Angkor Tom in Cambodia. Guards everywhere! But, after traveling around the world to portray Angelina as the Tomb Raider I couldn't chicken out!:sad:
So, I found a part collapsed, damp and moldy, room to change into my outfit. Then, sweating bullets I carefully went back to the most remarkable photo sites and began shooting timed camera shots!:battingeyelashes:

Luckily a foreign couple saw me and volunteered to take some unbelievable photos of me high up on tumbled boulders! It was just before closing and getting dark so I quickly returned to my changing spot and left with no guards seeing me!:daydreaming:

I thot I'd gotten away with something until the next day when I was shooting more Tomb Raider photos in front of Angkor Wat and a guard reprimanded me. Not caring a whit that I was a man dressed as a woman or wearing a mask! She said I was presenting as a woman and since my arms and legs were bare I had to cover them up! That was all she cared about!:eek:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cheryl T

My scariest moment was when I came out fully to my wife.

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I agree with you, it was my scariest moment also. I was betting the farm on being accepted, and not losing it all, as I was then into a 20+ year investment of marriage with someone I love very much. After a brief rocky patch of road, everything got much better. Looking back, if I have one regret, it was that I didn't speak up sooner, for the sake of the both us.

The first time I tried wearing a dress in front of my wife was scarier than wearing lingerie into a bar in a high crime area, and the outcome was a lot worse as well. I will not be poking the bear again.

Sandi

My scariest moment was also car related. In my early days of going out in public, I was driving through a local town when the driver behind ran into my car. It was fairly busy and there was a number of people watching. I stayed in my car for a couple of minutes before getting out to look at the damage. Fortunately my car was fitted with a towbar, which probably saved me from too much damage. Not so the car behind which suffered extensive frontal damage. Anyway, the driver, an older man, was full of apologies and admitted full responsibility, but I don't know if his referral to me as Miss was due to politeness, or his poor eyesight. He told his insurance that my car was a small hatchback, when in fact it was a large suv

This is a great question Helen!

My scariest moment was a very powerful day for me. I was in my early twenties, and dating a wonderful young lady "Sarah" (not real name, of course). She and I were very close. One day completely out of the blue with no prompting or lead in of any kind she said she wanted to see me in pantyhose. To this day I don't know what prompted that, and neither does she (more on that bit later). When we started dating, I'd purged what little stash I had at the time. I figured, as many here have, she was the one and crossdressing was going to be a thing of the past. We all know how that works out. Or rather, doesn't work out.

Endeavoring to fulfill her wish, I bought some pantyhose a couple of days later. I've related this portion of the story before, but it bears repeating here. I couldn't wait to get home with them. My hands were trembling as I got them out of their package and tried to get them on. I had to calm myself down. When I did finally get them on, the reaction that happened inside of me was absolutely enormous. Trapped inside for two years, my femme self suddenly had release. I could not believe the reaction. It was overwhelming, powerful, and unnerving. Prior to this, I had always told myself this was a strange thing, and I needed to do away with it in my life. I was weird for doing it, I had to stop, and if I just repressed it enough it would go away. On this day, I finally took my first ever step on the path of self acceptance, rather than the constant self rejection I'd dealt to myself for years. It's been a very long process that continues to this day, but that was day one of my journey forward with crossdressing. I knew at that moment it was always going to be part of me forever more.

Now I had the pantyhose on, and it was time to go over to Sarah's place. We were to spend the evening together. Nobody in my life had ever seen me in pantyhose by my own intention. I think a neighbor once briefly did when I was a young teenager. Nobody had known my secret except for one friend (who accepted it with grace) and my mother (who read me the riot act). The friend I told, my mom discovered my stash. While I cared about my friend whom I told, it wasn't anything like how I cared about Sarah. Eventually that evening, she was sitting in my lap and I tried hard to screw up the courage to tell her. It was extremely difficult. I was absolutely shaking like a leaf in a hurricane in fear of what was about to happen, from so many perspectives. That moment was absolutely terrifying for me.

Sarah and I broke up about a year and a half later, but remained very close. Years later, I met my now wife. A couple of months into our dating, I told her about Sarah and that while we were still very close, there was no 'fire'. With my (now) wife's total knowledge and support, Sarah and I remain exceptionally close. I came out to Sarah about 6-7 years ago. She was astonished, and took it mostly in stride. She asked me one time why I hadn't told her about my crossdressing while we were dating. I told her, "I had only just barely begun accepting myself. Asking you to accept this part of me when I could barely do so myself was too much." As mentioned before, Sarah to this day doesn't recall what prompted her to ask me to wear pantyhose. She does clearly remember how intensely I was shaking.

In sum; my most terrifying day was also a pivotal day of the beginning of self acceptance. What a day!

First time out in NYC going to some club for girls like us. It was a seedy (CD lol) tranny bar. I kept getting hit on by the same guy. I kept walking away but he was persistent. Eventually I left to get away from him.

Another time I went to NYC about (2 years later) on the Saturday after 9/11. The scary part was a soldier looking in every car before being allowed to cross the bridge into Manhattan. He pretty much just waved me through. The moments leading up to him were scary not knowing what he might say.

My scariest moment that comes to mind is wearing a way to short sundress and wedges buying a bottle of wine somehow I ended up stuck in line between six rowdy construction workers buying their alcohol for the evening nothing happened but I could feel them staring at me not sure if they were disgusted or wanting me to join them anyway I was sweating bullets.
My most terrifying moment is yet to come when I tell my wife about my desire to wear womens clothing not sure how that will go.

Nowhere near as intense as some of these stories, but still scary. Around 2018, I was shopping at Macy's on or just before Halloween - the only time of year I would go out until recently. I found a top I really liked, but I wanted to go to some other stores in the mall as well. I asked a sales clerk to hold the top until I came back. She asked me what name to hold it under. I just sort of stared at her. I knew the name Colleen in my mind, but I had almost never said it out loud. Not knowing my own name? I felt like a complete fool. I was so embarrassed and my heart stopped - if she had not yet read me, I clearly had just outed myself. Fortunately, she was nice enough to give me a moment to respond. When I came back to buy the top, I was prepared and could actually say my name.

My other scariest moment happened last May. I scheduled a makeover at Ulta. The whole time driving over - and especially walking into the store - my mind was racing with thoughts along the lines of "What am I doing?" and "I so don't belong here." It all turned out fine in the end, however. I have never been much for makeup, but the gal doing my makeover was new in the role and had no other appointment, so rather than spending 30-45 minutes with me, she took two hours and gave me a thorough makeup instruction session. She also made a nice bit of sales for the store and got herself a nice tip. Going for a makeover, though, was one of my three biggest pink fog moments - along with the first time walking into a ladies' room and a moment too personal to share here.

Like some said, telling my wife was unnerving. As was the first time she saw me (per her suggestion) in MIAD. But I didn't have what I'd call a scary moment. From what I read a few wives had theirs too.