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I was checking out at the grocery market, and I really admired the cashier's lipstick. So, I put it all out there. I said, "Is it OK if I complement you and your lipstick, or does that get me slapped across the head?" She replied, "Thank you. That really is a nice complement."
I complement random GGs a lot, and I almost always get a favorable response.
BTW, I was in full dude mode.
Now that I?m older, I think about doing this often. It seems there might be a fine line between creepy old guy and a nice compliment. I?ll be curious what others find are off limits or pushing the envelope. I remember a situation about two months ago where I wanted to tell this woman in line behind me how pretty her lipstick was.
I have two methods I use to compliment a woman on her clothing, her appearance, or whatever.
First, if I am walking along (whether at work or in, say, a shop), I will pause and give the compliment, maybe have just a brief exchange, then keep walking, so it is apparent I was not trying to strike up a conversation.
Second is I will start out by saying, "I'm not hitting on you. I just wanted to say ..."
BTW, Steffi, your BTW was apparent as, if you were presenting en femme, there would be no reason to ask if the compliment might get you slapped.
I don't think it's helping, starting with some kind of excuse or disclaimer. I get why you're doing it but it's not the best way to go ab mbout it. It makes it sound worse in my opinion.
Only once have I complimented a woman on her appearance. I was in a mens shoe store and the cashier had on the most classy dress I have ever seen. This woman was gorgeous. I inquired whether it would be OK to comment on her dress stating I was not hitting on her. She said yes and I told how striking the dress was. She thanked me, told me how it was her favorite and that she appreciated me noticing.
I would not qualify the compliment before giving it.
If I were to see a woman who's outfit was very flattering I would just say "excuse me but your outfit is gorgeous" and I would continue on, at a fast pace so my wife can't hit me LOL.
We all know the truth. Every woman loves to be complimented.
What Traci said. In drab at vanilla venues I don't dare compliment young women for that reason.:doh:
Older women seem to like it!:battingeyelashes:
However, when I'm out clubbing as Sherry? I find even 20 something women openly appreciate my compliments!:love:
I have received compliments out of the blue, and I appreciated them. So, although I seldom do offer a compliment to a stranger, it has happened and the responses have been gracious.
there have been many women I've been inclined to compliment, but i haven't for fear of being considered to be a creepy old guy. I think if I presented as a woman, I would give compliments regularly. In drab, I tend to admire from a distance. If I were to give a compliment, my imagined script would be "I don't want anything from you and I am very married but I just have to say that you look beautiful today". I wouldn't ask permission. I think that would be even more awkward for me.
I always offer compliments to women when I'm out. Living full time means it's a woman to woman conversation, much easier than a man to woman conversation.
I share the concern of not wanting to seem "creepy" I usually keep my compliments limited to coworkers etc who know me well enough to not be uncomfortable. I will sometimes do a "drive by compliment" where I say "love the shoes" smile and keep walking. If there is discomfort it's momentary and since I'm already gone there is no threat.
The goal of a compliment is for someone to feel uplifted slightly not to make them uncomfortable and it makes me sad I never know which situation I'll create.
My rule is to never compliment a stranger on something more or less intimate like clothing or makeup. And for ladies I know personally, it's an exercise in judgment.
I mentioned above I am tempted but have refrained from compliments. The whole creepiness factor of course. But as I get older, I feel less concerned about this factor. Beyond even complimenting a female about her clothes, makeup etc etc, I have wanted to just say to some ? I just have to tell you, you are a very beautiful woman?. Often they are not raving beauties in a traditional sense but just beautiful in their own rite. I just might do it one of these days. I?m prepared to get my face slapped or worse. I hope that it might just make their day.
I have I interacted with many women while crossdressed, and I agree with docrobbysherry. It comes very easy and has always been appreciated . That has helped me quite a bit when paying compliments while in drab mode. A lot of it has to do with context. Waiting in line for example and striking up a compliment is not creepy, but approaching someone who is shopping in the lingerie department might not be a good idea. I have never had a negative response, but then I was always sincere plus they knew they looked good ; )
Sandi
I'm over 70. I don't think that any GG under 50 would think that I'm hitting on them.
I never give a GG a complement about how they look (physically). I limit my complements to what they can control, e.g., clothing, shoes, jewelry makeup or hair. I believe that many GGs try to look pretty for their fashion sense and that's what I complement them on.
I complemented one GG about her up style, braided hair. Her response, "You just made my day. No, you made my whole week."
I usually get a "Thank You" genuine smile. I've even had a short conversation about what she was wearing. I've gotten some neutral responses, but never a negative response.
I have paid Compliments, to GG's,
At the recent wine and spirits event I attended, there was one woman who was absolutely perfectly dressed. IMHO. The most gorgeous dress and heels to die for. She was also working a high end scotch booth so was pretty busy. I wanted to tell her that I loved her dress and leave it at that, but I also thought that she probably would be confused by my comment and also busy so not really having the time to chat about her clothes. I left without making a comment but was just happy to see how wonderfully she was put together.
I couldn’t have afforded the dress and shoes anyway, so I told myself.
Not all women will take a compliment negatively. Some will probably appreciate it. The problem lies in the few (many?) that it will creep out, and they won't necessarily make it apparent. From what I read in these forums, some crossdressers tend to act very familiar with women by means of "complimenting". Problem is, they often wish themselves to receive such compliments. Which means they tend to project their own feelings about it on women they encounter. But these women don't necessarily share them. And for those who don't, it is a kind of violence, as you enter their sphere of intimacy without being invited.
So I'll ask the question: why do you do that? If it is to make them feel good, I suppose you also give similar compliments to men you don't know, right? The love of humanity knows no gender boundaries.
But if you don't give them to men, then it becomes something gender-specific, possibly more sexual, at any rate motivated by attraction (of the girl, or of being the girl). But by trying to share these women's personal experience, you venture into their private space (clothes, hair, makeup). Depending on the level of familiarity exuded by the compliment, this can be viewed as an act of predation, in search of a thrill at the expense of the target. And these "compliment" stories are often told by crossdressers of a certain age*, which may point to CDing as a driver, and older age's disinhibition, as contributing factors.
* But with the average members' age here, I may have a bias here.
I do often compliment GG's on how they look, makeup, eyelashes and clothes. I do this because I appreciate what they have done to cause this reaction. More often than not it is because I just want to start up a conversation and it is common ground.
Would I have done it as a male? Probably not but there again I would not have been having a mani/pedi.
I get compliments and I get embarrassed. Go figure.
I compliment women *and* men, smile, and move on. I have done this for everything from hair style/ colour to jewellery to dress colour.
If someone did that to me, it'd make my day; had that happen with a female barista who liked my nose stud and ear-rings.
I do this quite a lot. If I see something I like or that makes me smile, then I am comfortable commenting on it. This time of year it is bobble hats and scarf's. In summer often hair. I do the same with couples mixed groups family groups. Just makes a change from good morning and adds a personal touch, that is usually replied to with a simple thank you and a smile. Or some times strikes up conversation.