Retaining femininity

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Originally Posted by Lex

I'm a manly chick, but an average to wimpy guy.

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I feel the same way, and I don't think I should have to act all man all the time to be accepted as such. I'm more of a gay guy than anything. As a girl, I'm tough and people see me as macho and boyish, but only compared to other girls. If I was to present as a man and act the same, everyone would be saying what a wuss and how gay I was. Which isn't fair, because a lot of gay guys are very much into fashion and a lot of feminine things, and that's not me either.
Does anyone feel the need to suppress all feminine aspects of themselves to be considered male? Or just accept being a sort of effeminate man?

in the words of a friend the other night........'you are becoming quite male, i see the girl in you less and less as time goes on'

so in answer to the question maybe subconciously i am suppressing the girls side to come across as being male

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Originally Posted by Fainne the King

Does anyone feel the need to suppress all feminine aspects of themselves to be considered male? Or just accept being a sort of effeminate man?

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I didn't realize how effeminate I really am until my best friend pointed it out. I kept telling him he was mistaken and then he decided to mimic my "fem" movements to prove the point - this coming from an effeminate gay man himself. Turns out I definitely have more of a limp wrist and swishy walk than I could have imagined. :eek: At first I didn't know what to think since I fancied myself a masculine woman, but now I've accepted that I'm both - quite butch for a woman, but definitely a swishy guy. ;)

I guess it depends on your perspective . . .

First off, let me point out that a lot of gay men act and dress just like straight men, and that some are very very masculine. The one's that we tend to notice and assume are gay are effeminate. Two of my co-workers are gay males and no one would ever know, usually people think that the two straight guys in the store are the gay ones.

I think that years of conditioning as a female definitely sticks with you. As the observer mostly, I watch my boyfriend move and talk, and correct his posture and stance and mannerisms a lot of the time. To help him get the hang off stopping those really small feminine nuances we tend to do.
Myself while in drab I never feel manly, I'm too petite to ever feel manly.

Oh and CaptLex, nextime someone says your mannerisms are womanly punch them in the face. That certainly isn't lady like. :p

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Originally posted by Wren
Oh and CaptLex, nextime someone says your mannerisms are womanly punch them in the face. That certainly isn't lady like.

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I love that line Wren. I've had a really bad day but, that made me laugh. Thanks.

I've mentioned before that it seems to me that it seems to me you FtM guys tend toward a genetically female approach to being masculine, and that MtFs like me tend toward a sort of macho approach to being feminine (measure my heels, post provocative pics, etc).

It really seems to me that birth gender is something we never get completely away from, even though we have our various gender issues.

At some level, it seems to me, we never fully transcend the gender we're born to. IMHO.

Hehe. I actually find myself doing things.. like crossing my legs. For the life of me, I notice it one moment, then fix it, then as soon as I stop paying attention they're crossed again. I think it almost physically hurts me not to.

For a girl, I've always seen myself as .. at par with boys in their manuerisms, if that makes any sense. I have been told many times before that I look like a very feminine boy in the way I hold myself. I'm working on it, though.

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Originally Posted by Wren

First off, let me point out that a lot of gay men act and dress just like straight men, and that some are very very masculine. The one's that we tend to notice and assume are gay are effeminate.

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Oh I'm aware, I just like to stereotype. :p You know which sort of gay men I'm referring to.

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Originally Posted by Fainne the King

Oh I'm aware, I just like to stereotype. :p You know which sort of gay men I'm referring to.

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the kind like me <crosses legs and adjusts bra> hehe :cheeky:

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Originally Posted by Wren

Oh and CaptLex, nextime someone says your mannerisms are womanly punch them in the face. That certainly isn't lady like. :p

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LOL, Wren! :haha:

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Originally Posted by Fainne the King

Does anyone feel the need to suppress all feminine aspects of themselves to be considered male?

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I wish I have such super powers. :p It makes a difference not being on the extreme end of the transgender scale.

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Originally Posted by Lex

It just seems that people won'te take me seriously sometimes if I'm not completely macho. Drives me nuts.

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Yeah, a friend sometimes gets on my nerve like that, and I just want to punch him out. But, no, too macho isn't "professional-like". :cool: