Printable View
There comes a point when you make the shift in attitude. Call it your crossdressing crossover.
Crossdressing is no longer something you do, it becomes who you are. And your feminine self is
like a shadow. You can jump off the high dive and get away from it for a short time
but then you come down to earth and it comes back to you because it IS you.
Besides, life is more fun dressed as a girl.
Life is more fun in a dress
I only feel 'normal' when dressed as a girl. When I'm in male clothing, it sort of feels like a uniform that I have to wear, in order to accomplish a task, or job. When I come home, I change back into girl clothes. Other than the about 10 year period when I didn't crossdress at all, didn't really think about it much, only transient thoughts about it when I'd see something pretty that I would have liked to wear when I was younger. Apparently, when everything else in my life was going well, I subconsciously repressed all the thoughts of being a girl, wanting to crossdress. The key problem occurred after a few years of being married, when I lost my good job, and had to take a 60% cut in salary and work at an entry level job again, while also going back to school full time, and trying to maintain a nice life for my wife and I. It was too much, my mind couldn't keep all those subconscious thoughts pent up anymore, and the desire to crossdress came back with a vengeance, and I secretly purchased some pretty clothes, which I would wear around the house on days when I knew my wife would be at work for 12 hour shifts. Eventually she discovered a slip that I had accidentally left out, and that was the beginning of the end. We divorced a few years later, after therapy didn't help at all. Post divorce, I would study psychology even more extensively, to learn about all these thoughts that I have, and why they are there. So yes, now, crossdressing is just ME, dressing. I found that with the visual and tactile feedback of wearing girl clothes, I felt that I was really a girl; no fanfare, no prancing around, just going through my day being myself. But am I really a girl? Uh, no. I also discovered many of the differences in how men and women think, behave, communicate with each other, along with feelings we developed over time, evolving into what we are. I don't exhibit the feminine things that make people see a woman, as a woman. PM me if you want more info and sources to read about that. Hope that helps.
Yes, this has been my life for several years now.
I can't even define the point at which this just finally became "me". Various stages of coming-out to friends, colleagues and then relatives have obscured the exact timeline.
As an enby i don't think of myself as a woman or as "feminine" like many here do, but instead i think of myself as a person. Me. An individual who is defined by what i do and say and how i live my life, not by what body parts i was born with/without.
(Of course, there is no right or wrong. People should simply be themselves.)
Laser brought me a full step closer, being able to put on very little or even no makeup changed things. Changes the way you think about it. there's no big step from boy to girl. It really is just the clothes I choose to put on
Oh and how I love love love to dress. It is who I truly am.
Can't dress all the time but when I do it can feel so natural that I almost forget there's another me that needs to do things like...change back and go to work. Kind of a nice feeling.
The last time I wore pants (trousers) was to my mother's funeral in 2024 late September. So I wear dresses all the time, and I have 48 dresses.
John
Most mornings you'll find me first thing in the kitchen tidying up and making my SO breakfast in bed. I'll be dressed in a pull on knee length skirt. bra, forms, a tee style top and perhaps a cardi depending upon the weather. No wig or makeup.
And it feels like my natural state of affairs. I'm totally comfortable, happy in being me. It isn't for me at least cross dressing. This is me in my clothes. True the forms have to come off and I cover up to take the SO her breakfast (DADT) but them it's back downstairs and normal service is resumed.
Every day there comes a point were I need to go drab but it always takes a little determination on my part to switch.
Evenings you'll find me in a more "dressy" state, formal skirt/blouse/bra/forms/heels sat in my office upstairs on my PC while my SO watches TV. Again I feel totally comfortable, not CD'ing, just being me again.
I'm sure that having spent many hours out and about enfemme has given me this state of mind. If I can be Helen in public then it's only natural to be Helen when at home.
I was going to post about what was just a fleeting moment that happened a few nights ago. Before going to bed I sit on the bedside writing a few words into my diary. I suddenly realised that I wasn't "aware" of wearing forms. I've worn them so often that it's almost as if they've become a part of me. Something just there, like an arm or a leg. I think it's all part and parcel of finding ourselves in a comfortable place. Our natural state.
It's always been about ME dressing but I didn't realize it for such a long time.
It became apparent after I came out to my wife and we began exploring together.
While not complaining about my arrangements I admit that quietly and nonchalantly integrating wearing whatever I choose to into everyday life would be quite nice. Even if that meant that dressing was not as exciting I believe it would be rather fulfilling on a subconscious level.
I don't see my cross dressing ever becoming dressing for me. I much prefer wearing dresses, bras, forms, panties, nylons, makeup, and feminine bracelets, but since I can't do this 24/7 and not in front of friends, family, and other relatives, it will always remain a hobby. I'm fortunate that I can enjoy my hobby over 60% of the time. But, unless it becomes 100% of the time, it will never be dressing.
I never try to pass as a woman, I'm just a guy in cute clothes. That being said, sometimes I'll forget that whatever I'm wearing might not be appropriate for who might be around, because the skirt or leggings or top is just so comfy and feels so natural.
The other day I made a 10 hour drive requiring 5 stops. I was wearing a very comfy tank top that's racerback and low scoop, obviously from the women's section. I had a t-shirt along to throw on over the tank at stops but at all 5 stops I just didn't care and went in wearing just the tank. Those tanks have become just me apparently.
It seems that you have answered your own question. The difference between a costume and ones identity.
Like sometimes_miss and others, female clothing is my normal clothing. Male clothing is a uniform I wear to accomplish certain tasks.
Like 50 years ago.
Actually always felt my body was wrong. That was 65 years ago at age 5.
Finally it does not matter, so much. When a dress as a male I am me. When I dress as a female I am me. Just how the mood takes me. Mostly driven by what I need to achieve at the time.
In the past there were times when my wife visited our daughter in the mid-west or her cousin in the southwest. She would be gone for seven to ten days,. I was retired already. After I dropped her off at the airport I'd head home and liberate all my femme clothing: dresses and full slips hanging in the closet, bras and panties replaced my BVD's and tee shirts in my armoire, heels lined up at the foot of the bed, nightgowns hanging in the closet. It was femme time 24/7. It felt so natural to just choose a dress (never pants) and undergarments for the day.
Excellent topic! The moment in question is the moment I long for, suddenly I'm Jamie and living that life though I know it's only for a matter of hours. I'm enjoying the activity for that reason, the sometimes subtle switch just puts my psyche back in balance. It varies from the moment I step in front of the mirror to begin but can be as late as the last spritz of perfume or applying lip gloss, either way it's simply awesome. At the moment I can believe I am who I'm dressed to be, no more and no less.
Not having any male clothes at all anymore, it's just me getting dressed.
While I'm still very early in my experiences, the crossdressing-to-dressing journey is kind of the reverse for me.
When I started out I continually denied what I was doing and convinced myself I was just 'dressing'. It took a while to admit that yes I am a crossdresser. So - so far - it has been a dressing-to-crossdressing journey.
I'm not sure if it will reverse.
The only time I would wear trousers is if I needed to replace shingles or pull weeds. This past Wednesday I got up on the roof to trim branches while wearing a dress.Quote:
Originally Posted by CynthiaD
John