Can't control some things.

Yesterday my wife came home from shopping and I was sitting on my backyard steps dressed and having a coffee. When she came out she knew the niebours were on holiday's but she still looked around to make sure nobody was out. She sat down next to me and she told me she has to ask what makes me want to take this risk, what is so worth it that always wants to pull me outside. She said she notices I'm not as content ever since I stopped my Friday drive, I don't want her to buy anything anymore or she can't remember the last time I put on makeup or lipstick. I told her the Friday drive was for me a reason to totally dress, something to look forward to do my makeup wear something nice and in case of something I wanted to be presentable.
She told me she doesn't understand why I want to go out and take risks after all she makes me do whatever I want inside. She told me when I come home from work if we aren't doing anything I dress all night, and if we go out I'm usually underdressed with panties and a bra and sleep with a full slips or nighties. Even though I have all this freedom to do whatever I want indoors she asked me and doesn't understand what is so special about doing it and what drives me to want to be outdoors.
Her theory is whatever I do in the privacy of our own home is nobody's business, but even though my Friday drive was a low risk, it still was a risk and I was in public and she called it a weakness. She said she could tell that I'm always looking for an excuse to maybe go out dressed.
I told her I don't know what it is, it's almost like a magnet pulling me, a driving force in my head that pulls me out. I admitted I have to stop my mind at times from thinking of ways to walk outside, I guess it's just human nature to want what you can't have. I told her it just feels different outside, just walking on cement instead of hardwood floor and feeling the sun on my legs and the breeze.
I wish I had more answers for her but when I think about it I really don't know why I want go outside or take greater risk. It's just a feeling I can't control.

I can't say about you but for me it is a validation of my feminine side.

I am the same Maria, not that I have the same freedom you have inside, no make-up or wigs please, but I really want to be dressed and be outside. I have struggled with the same question as to why. I do not go out dressed (except a couple of times) but have been wearing some more obvious attire and bras when out for my walks, hoping I get a notice. I think it might be that I just want someone to acknowledge me as Mercedes. I know you lovely ladies do, but to have it in person might mean more.

The older I get, the more I wonder if I really control anything, Maria? But, I'm only 82. So, maybe one day I'll figure everything out.:devil:

The first reason most cross dressers go out is to be seen.:daydreaming:

The second is to meet other dressers and finally, vanillas!:hugs:

I spend a lot of time outside in skirts etc, and I understand the pull to go outside more. I'll make excuses to make extra trips between the outbuildings that I wouldn't do in men's clothes. I think maybe it stems from my frustration that I'm not "allowed" to dress as I want in public and this is my way to thumb my nose at society? There's also the thrill of the risk, if a delivery comes up the drive I'd be exposed (and I've had several close calls!)

There have also been a few times I was working out front in a skirt on days I knew there was a delivery coming at some point, and I decided I just didn't care. I made the decision I'd own it as if it was the "perfectly normal" I wish it was. Of course, those days the delivery didn't come til later or not at all. Even then, I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed :)

Do you think she would be willing to accompany you on your Friday night drives? Or pick a less busy night and go for a drive together.

Low hanging fruit tastes good, but nowhere as sweet as the stuff that is very hard to reach.

Hi Maria :hugs:, ^^^^ Nav Lady absolutely just hit the Nail on the HEAD !!!

Like I told someone recently; it?s human nature to move forward , to want more. This is how we got to where we are instead of staying in caves. Some can absolutely stop at a point. Also, without risk , there is no reward. Just my 2cents

I do not know what the attraction to go out is - but I feel it too

Maria
I understand how difficult this is for you.

I think you need a lot more communication on the issues with your wife.

What are her real fears about you going out. Is she worried that someone will take unkindly to you appearance.
Maybe just embarrassment if you happen to meet someone you both know or something worse.

You may feel like a bird that cant get out of a cage.

Is there a third option where you could both go somewhere with you as Maria (as has been suggested).

My first thought was that you're feeling restricted and want to venture out into the larger world that lies just outside your door. Sure, you could do that in your male persona, but that's just not the same thing, is it?

(Hmm. Maybe I'm just project my own feelings here.):thinking:

Thousands of years ago, men(?) invented the wheel - now we need to know how fast it can go
Wright brothers brought us flight, so why did we need to do more, like invent passenger jets, supersonic fighters, spaceships.
I was happy with Bells land line phone system, so why has everyone got a mobile phone now?
Men (and humans) are never content - geared to push the boundaries, faster, deeper, higher, better etc
Maybe, we think, the more we practice being a normal female, the better we will get.
Men were first to wear makeup and stocking and even jeans - so why do women feel the need to wear the same?
Blame Eve and the apple, it's simpler :)