In Defence of Half Way!

Or 1/4 or 3/4. We all probably make those cutoffs according to our own personal viewpoints anyway. I think it'd be pretty hard to define "all the way" in any practical way. If "all the way", 100%, is 100% passable, we probably all fall a little short. But, we're not talking about passability. To me, we're talking about being intentionally in-between. Gender blending, gender bending... I can think of a list of words that probably all apply but none quite catch. We all know it when we see it (or do it), and it's a little different for everybody. Things that don't show (like panties) don't count.

I had long hair until, well, it's been longer ago now than I care to admit, but up until I was 30 it was not only long, but I wore it in a feminine style. I did not leave the house, including work, without my hair being done, which meant some kind of styling with curlers or a curling iron or flat iron. I also had long nails. So every day I was, I don't know, 10%? Don't get me wrong. I'm all for going all the way, and did it frequently (still). But, I couldn't always do that. Certainly not often enough to satisfy whatever this thing is that drives me (us) to do what we do.

I had (have) my all-the-time things. Always shaved everywhere, brows waxed or threaded, I color my hair (not sure that counts for anything), my toes are almost always polished and, yes, panties. To me, with all this I'm still at zero. It's when I add to all that when it gets divisive. A little surprising, given the title of this site and the various proclivities of the participants, but, OK. I'm not above it myself. Facial hair freaks me out. Enough said.

I've been derided on here and in real life for doing some things that are really at the crux of the matter. I'm perfectly fine with that, btw. 50+ years of publicly wearing women's clothes builds one's immunity to such things. I find it more amusing than anything. I carry a purse (not to work. That's a bridge too far). Not a man bag. Obviously a woman's purse. My purse. Why? Oh, there are practical reasons, but that's not why I carry one. I like the way they look, the choices, the styles, but the bottom line is I carry one because it is a statement, a look, a simple article that means something to me and says something to everybody else. I can't quite define what that something is. It probably changes minute to minute. When I can get away with it, I like to wear a little makeup. At least mascara and concealer. Statements aside, I think I look better with a little makeup. In my younger days I liked wearing full makeup in male mode, but the time for that has unfortunately passed. I wear leggings and long tops a lot. Usually that still feels like zero, but if I'm showing my polished toes that's worth a few percentage points. I used to wear only women's jeans. That ranged from zero (sometimes indistinguishable from men's) to at least 25%. I had some pretty nice jeans! Heels, too.

I've also done things in male mode that are probably coloring outside the lines. I have a LONG standing affinity for salon things. The big one (when I had long hair) was having my hair styled/set in some highly feminine style, and I had that done in male mode more often that I did en femme. Same with nail salons, brows, facials.

Suffice to say I've never been all or nothing. I can see how all or nothing is probably a better way to be, particularly if "nothing" really means nothing. I mean, if "nothing" means you're not even shaving your legs or shaping your brows (even at home), and wearing men's underwear, more power to ya. Do ANY of us ever truly go back to "nothing"?

So does this, as Doc implied in another thread, make me a fetishist? I'm not offended except that it further implies that there is purity in being all or nothing, and that's where I have a problem with it. To play off of Dr. Suess "Oh, the places you'll go!", I'll say, "Oh, the places I've been". Or in the modern vernacular. "Girl, you have no idea!" Love you, Doc, but you're calling ME a fetishist??? OOOO-KAY! I'm not offended. I probably am one! How's that for a confession? And at my age I hope I find some more of them, to be perfectly forthcoming about it! Shit gets boring after you've been on the planet as long as I have!

I very much do go "all the way". I also go 10%, 25%, 76.2%, and I like it! 60% of the time, it works every time! I'd venture to say that almost none of us get to fully dress as often as we'd like. To me, there is A LOT to be said for just adding a feminine thing or two to your usual male presentation. I can't ever quite put it all away.

Well put!

As much as I would like to be 100% every day it turns out that I can be 10% every day and 100% is pretty much gone at this stage in life. Right now, most of my daily dressing comes from the women’s section, it just can’t be pretty or cute.

So, I am embracing what I get

Very well said Rhonda, I'm sure we all have done some if not most of these. As I have been a full time wife to my wife for the last couple of years I am 100% now. Back when I worked it was probably 60 % most of the time at work. Always had my eyebrows shaped and 90% of the time my nails were done, both hands and feet. When I was in High School my hair was about 2 inches below my shoulders.

Rhonda Jean, please don't put words in my mouth. How much or often u dress doesn't make u a fetishist. When u r aroused and fascinated by only certain clothing items does!:o

What your post seems to illustrate is that u r a trans, not a fetishist! And, that I am thankfully, (altho it took me over 10 years to find out), a CD!:)

Your exhaustive description of your fem life is quite complicated compared to mine. I get up, throw on whatever loose, sloppy, men's things r handy. Run a brush thru my hair and I'm out the door. I shave my face about every 3rd day?:heehee:

Every week I start putting together the new pieces I plan to wear for Sherry's next outing or photo shoot. When I dress up it's the whole 9 yards! I come home or finish the shoot: take off everything including my make up, put everything away except for things that need washing. I throw those in the shower and wash them when I bath. They r always dry by the next time I dress in a few days or a week!:battingeyelashes:

Fortunately, that's all the fem it takes to satisfy me!:)

There is nothing at all wrong with dressing 10% or 100%. For any of us, that is a matter of what works in the moment and what works for the individual. The outside observer will likely reach may reach the same conclusions about us regardless of the percentage apparent in the moment.

This brought me back to the days when I was just beginning to emerge publicly. I began adding in subtle, but feminine items, some so subtle only I was aware that the slacks or top were bought in womens wear. Then I risked wearing forms and hip pads, then a hint of makeup. It wasnt long before a hybrid presentation felt confining. Finally, I just went 100% fem from head to toe, and oddly, I felt much less self conscious than when presenting in a hybrid mode.

Obviously, YMMV

I agree with Doc, I saw nothing in your post suggesting you have a fetish, which would include a sexual reaction. Sounds to me like you're CD /slash/ gender bender. In other words, you're a guy who likes to wear women's stuff and who enjoys women's fashions. I read nothing to suggest you're trans or a fetishist.

As I like to tell my friends without suggesting that I actually do such things, "I could put on the pretties dress in the world but it wouldn't make me a woman."

I?d like to be 27.4 % or some days even 62%. For the most part I?ll take what I can get. 100%, takes a lot of work for me to get there and even then, my wife needs to be out of town. Doesn?t happen very often however.

For the first time ever, my wife mentioned that I have gender issues the other day. I?m not sure that is even true. Maybe I?m just a fetish. I can?t figure it out. I do know that unlike Doc, I desperately want to put on my fem stuff in the morning and not my drab things. I can?t wait for a week to go by to fill up.

So like Ronda says, partial dress is fine with me. It soothes my soul to be wearing feminine clothes to varying degrees of visibility. It?s what I need to calm my inner girl I suppose. To each their own.

Dress to make yourself happy - even if it is only 10%

Half way is kind of the way I have been living my life, of late.