Is that common among CDs and TGs? I was born a judge of beauty. Or at least by age 3 I became one. I asked Mom when I was about 4 if I'll be a woman like her when I grow up. I was disappointed by her answer. I liked my own image till I was about 5. Then Dad made me get burr haircuts, which I hated because they looked ugly to me, at least on me they did. When I was 7 or 8, Dad let me go to the barber alone after school. I told the barber to just cut it around my neck and ears, not knowing at first that it was called "a regular haircut". I was relieved when Dad saw my haircut and didn't criticize (He was a Virgo). The new haircut helped my looks, but I still didn't look so good after my early years. I also hated to wear short-sleeved shirts or shorts, because my skinny arms and legs didn't look good to me. At about age 9 for a 4H play I got to wear a fancy dress playing a maid of honor. The wig was probably home made, but the dress was fabulous. I was addicted to dresses, but didn't get a chance to wear one much, just a few times in plays and in secret.
At age 11 I started wearing glasses reluctantly. The guy I sat next to on the bus said I looked funny, but I got used to them and then was afraid to be seen without them. One time the frame cracked by the right lens and while standing doing choir practice with my class the lens fell out. Without taking the glasses off I stooped down and picked up the lens and put it back in the frame and tried to act like nothing happened. Another time I was walking into the school building in the morning just off the bus and I heard my neighbor snickering behind me with his friend. I was self-conscious and wondered if it was about me. When I got out of sight I felt behind and realized I forgot to change my pants. I was wearing my work pants for farmwork, which had a patch on the butt. The rest of the day I tried not to let anyone see the seat of my pants.
I took a few art lessons when I was 9 and painted pictures occasionally till I was 12. I did pretty good, but it was too slow a process for me and the results didn't seem rewarding enough. I figured photographs do a much better job. By the way, probably in first grade, the same neighbor who later snickered, had a desk near me. The nun told us to draw a picture. I don't remember what I drew, but he drew a stick man. It embarrassed me, so I drew over his drawing to make it look like a potbelly stove with stove pipes. Grandma said when I was 3 I drew a picture of her outhouse. She said it was a good drawing, because she could tell what it was supposed to be. She kept it but misplaced it, so I never got to see it again anyway. When I was in 4H I started growing flowers. I did that for several years. When I was a highschool freshman, the teacher asked the class to introduce ourselves and mention our hobbies. I said flower gardening was one of mine. No one snickered because we didn't know any better. In ag class 4 of us classmates went to judge cattle. It was a competition with other local schools. My family raised cattle and other livestock, so I guess I had an edge. I think we won.
At age 22 I was working with Dad on the edge of a boat dock and my glasses fell off into the river. I decided not to get glasses again till I was about 48, when I got a little too far-sighted. I probably look better with glasses. You might guess that I'm self-conscious. That's what Mom called me once. I'm bald and I always cover my head with a cap when I'm around anyone. Actually, I went capless most of the time until I was 38, when I was playing catch with a young girl who had a rubber ball. I had a cap on at first, then I went to rest nearby while she went into her house. I had my cap off when she returned. She asked where the man was who was playing ball with her. I said that was me and that I had my cap on then. She said put it on, so I did, and I think we played some more. Since then I keep my bald head covered.
While I would gladly be an attractive lady, if I could, even the most beautiful body still isn't ideal to my mind, because as they say beauty is only skin deep. I'd prefer a body that's beautiful all the way through. Is that how angels are?
Do CDs and TGs have exceptionally good taste? Are most of us self-conscious? And are most of us introverts?
