Crossdressing Cure

It starts with the person sitting in their living room kneading their hands. Was it too much time sewing or knitting or more likely working in the kitchen slicing onions or other vegetables? Either way it starts with a soreness and stiffness that begins to be more and more noticeable over time. This spreads and soon shoulders and elbows start in and then the legs. The soreness and stiffness continue on and then with the legs strength and balance issues click in. So, it's somewhere between the sore fingers and the eventual wheel chair that I find myself in now and worry about daily now. Yes, I'm talking about arthritis. Not the kind with the rash or the partial type isolated in one particular finger, it's rheumatoid arthritis. They say it won't kill you but it can make you wonder on some days if it wouldn't just be a lot easier if you just "weren't here" anymore. Yet another thought that plays on the mind along with the constant pain even with the powerful weekly injections. I don't know what folks did one hundred years ago but without those shots a wheel chair is likely the only option. I found that out when I visited my arthritis doctor and switched medications. After one month with no meds of any kind my last checkup went with finding the first wheel chair at the clinic door to get around their office. After starting the injections with my original prescription once again it took three weeks to "get back on my feet" once again. But aside from that let me tell you what happens to the crossdressing "hobby".

I noticed the weakness in my legs at first, the ankles go and being where the most joints are the toes go the same route as the fingers and wrists. I used to be able to do my 5 inch stilettos all day but it wasn't long until my feet wouldn't take that position anymore. Imagine taking two rolls of dimes and putting them under your toes at the foot joints then putting on your shoes. I found out that with the RA the toes are far more involved with balance then I ever thought! So with the leg weakness and balance issues the heels, unfortunately have been gone for a couple years now. Even if one could do the heels just the height and the weakness and the wobble are too much to add to the thought of falling. I am nearly certain the old saying "I've fallen and I can't get up" came from someone with arthritis. With weak leg muscles you better have something to pull up on with your arms to get back on your feet for sure!

Gone are the days being able to swirl about the house, heels clicking, nylons zipping and skirts rustling. There is a whole range of dressing issues also associated with the bane of arthritis. I used to be able to do my hair and got pretty good at makeup but over time my hands no longer had the precision needed for the job. I finally quit when I looked like a beginner once again. And jewelry? hooking the small hooks or even putting in earrings is nearly impossible, you might just as well try in in boxing gloves for the same effect.

Clothing is more of the same. Tiny buttons, those multiple hook-and-eye fasteners and even something as simple as a stocking garter are getting to be out-of-the-question. And in thinking of zipping up a long dress back zipper alone? Forget about it, the arms aren't flexible enough anymore.

I could go on but you get the point. Does arthritis "cure crossdressing?" Well in my case it pretty much has. The problem is the thoughts and memories are still there so I guess I will always be the same as I have always been.

Hi Shiny

I don't think RA is a cure for crossdressing, it just make things a little more difficult.

I am not sure if you have tried any of the ideas below.

Also being affected by RA although not quite as severely. I think the best you can do as adapt your wardrobe.

Maybe thigh highs or pantyhose and front closing bras. Maybe top and skirts to eliminate the need for dress zippers. However there are some zipper aids which may help.

May I ask what age this started to appear?
I've thought about your toes helping balance comment before. I've often considered that my large feet have longer toes, which is like a longer lever to more easily adjust balance. While, I often hate my big feet, I feel they are the reason I adapted to heels so easily.

I got diagnosed at 50. At 65 it got really tough, 68 now.

On balance long toes don't matter, it's how they work when you are on your feet. Walk barefoot sometimes and watch your toes, then watch them as you move around the kitchen, they are working all the time and we don't even know it--pretty amazing actually.

I took to the big heels very easily myself but just walking is good enough for me these days.

Well, one way to think of this; women who have RA still dress. It's not as if they get around naked :) Ok, it's not as fabulous as a beautiful dress, stockings and suspender belt, several inch heels, etc. But, you can still dress as a woman.

Sorry, but that's not a cure any more than death would be.
It makes things very difficult and sometimes impossible, but that's not a cure.

No cure Sorry, many lost reationships, Accept what you are , even if it means living alone, thats what happened to me. Fight it all you want , believe me it , it will win

Shiny, thank u for your honest post. I hope it will help others who r similarly afflicted?
So sorry u have to endure this!:thumbsdn:

As for myself? I'm 14 years older than u and altho I don't have RA my ordinary arthritus affects everything I do. My hands r the worst problem, then knees.:sad:

I can still go out in 5" hi spike heels and put on the things u mentioned with my hands. But, I can't dance all nite in those heels and have increasing issues using my hands.

However, my daily floor excersize routine keeps me flexible and Sherry still going!:battingeyelashes:

I'm very sorry to hear this and hope you can still get some of the better days to still get some fem time. I see it with my wife, changing to a sports bra because her shoulders are in pain. She wears stay-ups because she has a hard time putting on pantyhose and she wears mostly flats because the heels hurt her calves. Unfortunately your situation is worse but I seen how my wife had to make adjustments to her health situation. It's sad but maybe a little change you can still have some fun with it.

Hi Shiny,

In this regard this will be relatively easy for me to say. Please note this will not be said from a lack of sympathy, rather its out of support and hope and this applies for all the things you and each of us may or will be going through in our lives.
Through the pain and trouble RA has brought to you, try be thankful for what you still have rather than what has been lost. Maria 60 is right in that you may need to make some necessary adjustments, but there will be solutions. Her recommendation for a sports bra is a great one, and they can be very comfortable.

On a side note, I've read that a common RA medicine called methotrexate can cause gynecomastia. So, perhaps through your struggles and pain you may be rewarded with a pair of girls to put in your bras. Its a thought anyway. Hopefully you;ll find a way to keep RA from making your days filled with rain and gray skies. Best wishes to you.

Death cures all ailments. Arthritis calls for choosing alternatives. A front closure bra rather than closure in the back. I only wear dresses and all the dresses I own do not have those troubling zippers. They're all slip over the head and made of material that has some stretch so they conform to the shape of the body. Even a princess slip overcomes fighting with adjusters of regular slips. Pantyhose over traditional garter hosiery. A low rise heel of a wedge offers stability for the feet. Ready to sit and relax rather than toiling in the kitchen.

I hope I never have a cure.

Hi Shiny, :hugs:, That is such a sad Story, I feel so sorry for your pain,

I will be 83 in 4 Months, I have Slight pain in a couple finger joints and I have no Problems in CDing, Even in 4 & 4.5 Heels, ,

I guess that I am lucky to still have good health,.ORCHID**o:daydreaming:o**