Printable View
Wow, we have finally reached a point where we are ready to try being out, not locally, with me dressed. Both of us are nervous about it. We plan to spend a couple days away. What have you learned about the first times out that helps wife increase comfort level with dressed partner.
Thank you.
Time spent away from home enfemme, I'm your girl.
You didn't say what type of accommodation you're staying in but let's opt for hotel. Your first big hurdle is leaving your room and making your way through the lobby. Your only real option is go for it. Deep breath, head up and be as casual as you can be. My guess is both of you will have butterflies but once outside they will start to subside. Oh, Don't overdressed. I guess you might want to go for some retail therapy so sensible shoes will be your friend. Walking in heels for those new to being out and about can soon get very uncomfortable.
Go for a drive. Give yourselves time to acclimatise. Then consider a drive through fast food. It's a quick interaction with someone, someone who's likely not to be paying too much attention. Park up, eat your food and then get out the car to put the litter in the bin. It's a quick intro into being in a public place.
Crowds are your friend. As I've said before. If you're in a hall with 10 others, you'll notice all ten. In a hall of a hundred, you'll still only notice ten. And this is where dressing conservatively pays off. Blend in to the crowd. You'll be surprised just how little attention others pay to their surroundings.
If you do go shopping, actually look for an item. A skirt or dress. Jewelry, shoes. One it stops you looking like shoplifters and two it helps you focus away from thinking everyone is looking at you. Try not to look to see if anyone is looking. Just go about your business.
Once you've been out for even a short while your confidence will grow, nerves will calm, enjoyment will take over. It does help to have a plan mapped out. Places you might want to visit check them out on Google Street View. Helps you feel more confident if you know what a place looks like, parking etc and stops you ending up somewhere that might be " a little rough".
Have a list of things you'd like to do. Visit an art gallery or museum, cinema, zoo. Having predetermined options stops you just floundering about. Being at a loose end. You don't have to do all of them but it gives you options.
There's no magic wand that'll get you over the first few minutes. But be assured, some many here have gone before you and come out not just unscathed but eager for more and that says more than any advice you'll get.
Excellent reply Helen.
dress to blend. Generally I'd recommend picking a mainstream venue. I'm a big fan of museums so I'd opt for that. Generally folks at museums haven't been drinking and they're not looking to antagonize anyone they're jsut there to learn and enjoy the exhibits. Movies are also a great option. You get a chance to interact on a limited basis with ticket sellers and others in line and then you get the break of sitting in the dark for a couple hours where you can kind of forget that you're crossdressed. Afterward go where 'the movie crowd' goes: nearby restaurant or bar, oething quiet and low key.
To help focus replies.. it will either be a pet friendly hotel on coast or a vrbo rental. Ocean views are critical. Outfits are knee length skirts/dresses with non-bold colors and almost no makeup, slight foundation, blending lipstick, touch of eye treatment, wig and boat shoes. Maybe black hose to mute legs. So definitely a blended look. It's more concern about what uncomfortable situations we might encounter. It's california so restrooms should not be a problem. Although there are Karens everywhere. Were mature and somewhat handicaped, so no one would think of picking us up. Mostly looking to walk by ocean/beach and eating a meal out dressed. Sounds simple, right? Just first time, so jittery...
Well, for us it was to act as girlfriends.
You will probably still have the tendency to hold the door for her and things like that. Don't! Girlfriends don't do that.
Don't spend your time looking at others to see who's looking at you. Just do what is natural for wherever you are. On the beach then enjoy the beach and the surf, in a mall, then look at all the pretty clothes, not the shoppers.
Relax, be just another person doing whatever you are doing and forget the world around you.
Donna worry, Donna! U have a Golden Ticket! As long as u r out with a female you'll find u have a pass to go nearly anywhere!:)
T's out by themselves may be considered pervy by some. But, being out with a woman provides validation to everyone that you're NOT up to no good!:thumbsup:
Here's the reality; you are EXTREMELY unlikely to encounter any uncomfortable situations.
Plus, I assume by the coast and your current location you mean California, which is one of the most progressive states in the country if not the world. I've been out dressed (briefly) in LA and San Francisco, and didn't have an issue. My wife and I have spent about four weeks in California the last two plus months, from north of San Francisco to Coronado near San Diego. There are tons of people of all types of dress, nationalities, accents, etc. You'll just be another two of the thousands you will see.
The thing you will mostly find is there are no torches and pitchforks. Most people are doing their own thing OR looking at their phones.
Here's my advice. Just quit worrying and do it. You don't need to do anything special. Get dressed, open the door, walk outside, get in the car, drive somewhere, walk along the beach, go to a mall, go to a coffee shop or cafe, or whatever you want to do. And if people have an issue, that's THEIR problem, not yours.
Wear sunglasses as much a possible. The eyes give away a person's nervousness. Other than that, just relax and enjoy. You may think everyone is staring at you but in reality they're not.