It Never Really Stops- Does It

I have been dressing up since I was around 11 or 12 and fascinated with womens clothing probably before that. I am pretty much a closeted CD and all my dressing has been in my house. My wife doesn?t know or if she suspects we have never talked about it.

Just under two years ago we had our basement finished. My collection/stash was in a suit case hidden under luggage, etc in the basement. To make sure it wasn?t found as we moved stuff around I put it in the garage attic. That attic isn?t easily accessible so my couple times a month dressing up became non-existent. Instead of dressing up myself I was living vicariously through so many of you here on this site. I had gotten to the point where I was thinking that I didn?t need to dress and vicarious living and writing erotic TG fiction would meet my desires and needs.

My wife went out of town on Thursday for a long weekend. The next day I pulled the suitcase down to see if everything was okay in it. I then decided to go through it to see if I wanted to keep the stuff I had accumulated over the years. Bet you can guess what that led to.

For three days I have been loving wearing lingerie, nylons, dresses and heels. I am dreading the idea of having to put all of it back in my hiding place.

No, it doesn?t seem too.

I think you will find that so many of us have gone thru this at one point or another. Stashed everything away thinking it may just go away. Some have gone so far as to purge everything. Only to find out that it truly never does go away. Then all the items have to be purchased again. I think it is best to deal with the internal thoughts and accept this is part of who you are.

I don't think it ever does really go away for good. Maybe for a short time. But not for good.

Well, they say there's a first time for everything, Fire. So, maybe you'll be the first dresser to give it up and forget about it!:heehee:

No it definitely never really stops, I thought it was out of my life for a good long while. Almost 12 years ago it came back with a vengence and I was totally hooked again.
I have to say I am much happier since I accepted crossdressing in my life.

I have come to the conclusion that CDing is a lifelong venture and you are in it for life. I did put it aside once for two years, but I was fooling myself. For whatever reason, it becomes part of you. I just want to embrace it now and try not to create too much heartache for my wife.

Chrissy, It was about 20 years ago that I finally accepted that I was a cross dresser. I found happiness in that. On a lot of occasions I have thought if I could come out to my wife I would be a lot happier. For a lot of reason I have t done that but after this weekend it is on my mind again.

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docrobbysherry- I think you and Karren Hutton are probably the two girls I would consider experts and awesome and amazing older ‘sisters’ so I am taking your comment as gospel. ��

Nope. It?s here for the duration. Like a roller coaster, highs and lows. Then there?s the pink fog. Ever thought about having ?that talk?? She may already know or suspect. Female ESP is scary.

Your situation is how mine used to be regarding having to hide my clothing and dressing when opportunity arose. I have been dressing for 40 years and now am at my peak of crossing dressing and am absolutely in love with the life style. i recently divorced (unrelated to crossdressing). She and no one knew ever. I now have the freedom to have all my clothes in a dedicated closet and am free to be dressed while walking around the house. I have purged 3 to 4 times and always have came back to it at a higher level each time. I really don't think I could ever stop crossdressing as the desire is in me to stay. After getting divorced I've decide to try (slowly) to have relationships with other crossdresser's and men. I am trying to get the courage to go out en femme in public. I find crossdressing has had levels throughout my journey. I don't think I have been this excited about my sexuality and what the future brings as I do now. I believe most of us who try their first panty or bra will never stop having the desire to dress. The feeling is too strong and intoxicating. Relax and accept who you are and experience it whenever you can. Please don't feel guilty. You are hurting no one and need to express your desires.

Sometimes I view crossdressing as an addiction. It can meat most of the criteria, particularly for someone like myself, that saw a marriage end as a direct result. I often have castigated myself for not being willing to kick the habit.

On other occassions, I am more charitable to myself. As a single person, I am no longer putting any strain on a relationship and I have always been quite restrained about spending on personal items , so it?s not an economic burden. In my situation, and if it is indeed a compulsion, it is no worse than collecting commemorative coffee mugs or model train sets. Moments of doubt occur now and then, but for the most part I am allowing myself some grace, reminding myself that (as my therapist once said, “Its not a crime, you know.’’