Outed by a friend.

I have been talking online to a guy who is a member of Stitch. He is straight I think.*We have just been talking, nothing untoward. He has told me of his marital status and that he has a daughter. He seems to be financially*secure too if I believe what he says. I think he has picked me out of the Stitch members because of my photograph. Very few of the other GG's put up good photos. I may be the best of a bad bunch, who knows?
He has been telling me how attractive I am.

From the outset he has no knowledge*of what I am or was but he still wanted to keep the conversations*private. Controlling*maybe*?All good on the first day. The next day I hear he has been out to dinner with other Stitch members and they were discussing people they may have in common.*Martin*had met me last Saturday at a dinner and must have asked about me. Luke, the guy who is messaging*me, asked Jayne, who is one of my new friends if she knew me. Between the two men, Jayne told them she was a friend and gave a glowing summation of my character*and how (to Martin) that I was a woman finishing*her transition. Luke must have overheard this or been*party to the conversation.

That last part about my transition I I found to be unnecessary.* I am out and open to my friends but it should have been my choice who I tell* that to.*The idle gossip is not something I expect from a friend.

Luke with his new information has still been talking to me this morning but still wanting our conversations to be private. I only found out about all of this with his innuendos*to my past and then letting me know who he had been talking*to last*night.
It really does not matter to me as I have no interest in a relationship with a man. I guess it does matter to him that he is conversing with a Transsexual.

There is no being partly out or somewhat out. Once the information gets out there it will be shared.

I am a bit cynical by nature and idle gossip is probably something I would expect from a social group. Unfortunate, but not surprising. Apparently, the fellow is not particularly concerned about talking with a transsexual.

I was curious about Stitch. My google search came up with a zany cartoon character. Evidently, I needed to add social media.

You are so right ! It is your choice and only yours who you choose to reveal your crossdressing or gender disphoria to. It is not your friends place to do so. It would make me rethink my friendships.

Real friend should not do such thing. At least without asking you for an approval before making this kind of information public. Either he was completely dumb or tried to make fun on your cost.

Genifer. I think I made it clear that I am out to my friends. I have nothing to hide.
What I felt was wrong was a 'friend' taking about me to a stranger and identifying me.
There will be people who will discuss the person they think is a CD or TS but a friend should not have confirmed it. There was no need for my friend to confirm or identify me.

Sabine. I don't think there was any malice involved just bad judgement.

Kim I would also expect idle gossip. We are all capable of this but should have respect for the individual.

Hi Philippa

I don't think your friend mentioned it in a malicious way either and perhaps feels so confident in you that it just came naturally but I agree she has no right to be saying things so private to others and perhaps needs to know you do feel a bit betrayed.

Good news is it certainly has not put the guy off even though you are not interested and nor will it put off others who find you interesting and attractive.

I have no idea what Stitch is but you certainly seem to have a very fulfilling social calendar.

Good luck you know I admire you tremendously

Amy x

I understand your feelings. Not everyone sees it the same way as we do. If you didn't say don't discuss it, maybe they don't know. It's possible they even thought they were being helpful by saying.Oh yeah, She's already had the surgery or transitioned fully or whatever they were saying. Like no worries, she's not a man anymore. It could seem positive to them to share that information, as opposed to realizing how private it is, and leave it for you to say.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

I am a bit cynical by nature and idle gossip is probably something I would expect from a social group. Unfortunate, but not surprising. Apparently, the fellow is not particularly concerned about talking with a transsexual.

I was curious about Stitch. My google search came up with a zany cartoon character. Evidently, I needed to add social media.

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Hi ,
Just had a shuftie & i wonder if this is who they are --
https://www.stitch.net/

Hi Liz (Jones).
You have the correct site. That is Stitch.
It is a charitable organisation which caters to those over 50 looking to make friends.

Hello Amy.
Thank you for the kind words. I often have a full social calendar and that is down to my contacts with Stitch.
I went to see Teddy Swims with the woman in question and I asked her tactfully about what was said.
I now have the full picture and I am ok with the out come. Jayne was just indiscreet and I don't expect it to happen again. I may just ask the others not to mention anything when talking about me. I don't think they would but who knows.