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I Passed Yesterday!
At the Grocery Store. In the checkout line... :battingeyelashes:
I had stopped by to buy some things on my way home. Just some basics. Eggs, milk, bread, and a few other items.
The only sticking point was the package of adult beverage in my cart.
Once I had everything I was ready to pay and go home. I usually do the self-checkout. But there was an empty checkout line and the woman at the register was just standing around. So I thought it might be more fun to do it this way.
I was wearing an above-the-knee patterned skirt. That was paired with a floral-patterned top that wraps in at the waist and has a plunging V neckline. With my standard padding plus a waist cincher I had an outrageous hour-glass shape going. The icing on the cake was light colored stockings with some black 3" sling back heels.
So now I'm loading my items on the conveyor, and the woman starts scanning. She had gotten a great look at me as I was approaching her lane. She kind of looked me over and didn't say anything. I wasn't too sure what she was thinking, but felt I was passing. It was all very low-key until she scanned the adult beverage. I had strategically placed it at the end of all my items, so she scanned it last.
Of course she asks for my ID. Usually they just scan the back of my DL as I hold it, so my picture is never showing. For whatever reason she wanted me to hand it to her. So I did with the back facing her. The scanner didn't work after a few tries so she turned the card over and saw my guy picture on the license. She kind of did a double take and looked at me a couple of times. Then she said...
"This isn't you..."
She said it in a genuine way, and almost expressionless. After an awkward moment passed I said...
"That *is* me."
She was completely confused, so I repeated it again, saying...
"That is me" while I nodded my head, smiling sweetly.
It still took her a few seconds as the gears were spinning in her mind. Finally the scanner worked, and she moved on with finishing the transaction. Now there was a guy in line right behind me and within easy earshot. I think he missed all that discussion while he was distracted loading his things on the conveyor.
I'll say the cashier was politely discreet. The only other thing she said was...
"Do you get that a lot?"
I just said "Not often!". LOL
I'd liked to have talked to her a little more. I'm sure she had questions. This was probably the most interesting thing that happened during her shift! But we just finished the transaction while a young kid bagged my groceries. I left with no other interactions.
When out in public I'm constantly evaluating people's reactions to me. I don't get much in the way of reactions these days, so it seems I'm doing OK with passing as a woman in general.
It's not often I've had the chance to get direct and honest feedback on whether I'm passing. So this event was kind of unusual and fun.
I told my GF about this last night when we went to bed. She's just like "why would you ever think you aren't passing? You are!"
:<3: :<3: :<3: :<3: :<3:
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Your GF is totally right. Perhaps, your mindset is you know you are a man presenting as a woman, so you're too critical of yourself. To me, the pictures you post of yourself do not hint of a man. Any woman in her early sixties would be envious of you.
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Good for you, Tricia!
It builds confidence, doesn't it. And having confidence builds more confidence, not that I think you are in any way lacking in that department.
I have done the same thing in the checkout line, with the same puzzled reaction. I have also gone into the national park close to my home many times and since I have a lifetime pass, they have to check my ID. One time, the young female park ranger looked at the DL and up at me several times, clearly confused, then said "Is this you??" I said "It sure is" and she responded "Wow, you look great!".
I have also now flown several times in girl mode, and with the TSA camera ID system it is easy because the machine checks for a biometric match, it doesn't get confused by long hair and makeup. Never an issue.
One time however, there was no camera and a female TSA agent checked my ID manually. She did the same, looked up and down several times. I said with a smile "I promise you, that is me" she flashed a big smile, handed me my ID, and said "I can see it is you, and you look great girl!" Nice!
It is very validating, isn't it! One thing is to apparently go unnoticed when out and about just doing your thing, but it feels like a different level when it is made clear to the other person who you are, and they accept you anyway.
Yes, at that moment the cover is blown, but up until that point, they took you for being a woman 100%, and even when told, they had doubts! That's pretty good in my book.
My wife has said the same to me "You totally pass!" I know that's not entirely true, certainly not when up close and directly interacting with people, but in the sense of Nobody suspects anything, it actually might be.
Love reading your out and about stories!
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I am not shocked by this interaction. Unless your photos are all doctored up which I doubt.
I know we are share our best photos here but still everything I see says woman.
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Yeah, I’ve been carded in female mode. I get strange looks and I usually say something like, "I don't want to look like that."
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I tell people that if u think u passed, u didn't. Because when people think u r female without a second thot they treat u very differently!:eek:
It sounds like u passed, Trish!:battingeyelashes:
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A similar thing happened to me last week entering Costco. You have to scan your membership card and then generally walk by the attendantt at the door. As I was walking by the attendant asked "Is he with you"/ She had to repeat it as I was surprised, then i answered That's me. She apologized. Although I don't think I was passing to most (who knows) it was a pleasant thing to hear.
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I would agree with your GF on this one.
As a general rule, it?s always best to assume that one is read, but what a gratifying experience it is when you realized that at least in that moment, you have passed. It has happened to me more often than I would ever imagine. I usually chalk it up to people being focused on their own lives, and perhaps giving the benefit of the doubt to the tall, elderly woman.
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Passing... is one of the best feelings that I have ever had. Dressed normally (as Kim, not in a woman's costume) I do okay.....until I need to speak. Damned voice gives my away every time.
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Yep, tomorrow I'm going to a retail establishment where they check your ID -- by 2 people in separate areas.
Did I mention that I'll be all dolled-up in a GG Halloween costume? :battingeyelashes:
And this will be the 1st time for them. :devil:
Ah, they've seen me in guy-mode before, as well as "might-as-well-be-a-GG" mode. :heehee:
So, it's all good. They know me & my femmy ways.
What's even better, is I know that at least some of the GG's who work there will be wearing costumes, too! :GD:
Anyway, always fun & sometimes even unexpected when that kind of stuff happens, Tricia. :thumbsup:
BTW, anyone ever *not* be able to do whatever with one's ID, because they truly believed that it wasn't actually the person?
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Hi Tricia,
I'm not surprised, in any of the photos you post here, you pass easily, if it weren't for the fact we are on this forum, I would never think you weren't female. I think I actually replied on one of your previous posts telling you that you pass. I know there's more to passing than what we see in a photo, but, it's a great start, first impressions and all that!
It's obviously great to get this feedback from a total stranger as it confirms that you pass, you obviously look the part, but, you also act the part, so I think it's safe to say most people see you as a woman. Delighted for you
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Tricia, That is a great interaction. Of course you pass. Your pictures always make me jealous.
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I got a 'who's this?' when a Costco employee looked at my ID once, so went through the red tape of getting a new pic.
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You went to the grocery store in 3" heels?!? That's going to draw attention to yourself for sure! :D
Congratulations on passing!
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Hi Tricia Lee, I can sure understand the cashier confusion,,
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I'm not shocked, you percent 100% women. I would think you would get that evertime you show ID.
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Not surprised at all Tricia you are a very pretty lady. Your girlfriend is spot on!
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I'm with your girlfriend on this.
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What a great experience! From your pictures here I'm not at all surprised though. I think a couple of things trigger people to look closer at us when out. One is the voice and the other is the way you carry yourself. I've never heard your voice so I couldn't comment on that. But knowing that you've been out in public frequently I believe you've developed the appropriate female mannerisms plus that's given you the confidence to own it.
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Looking at you, I can't say I'm surprised! What a great experience!