It happens

We start to get comfortable with our situation and I have to remember if I want to keep this in the closet I have to be more careful. My wife got upset with me a few weeks ago. Her sisters car didn't start at a near plaza. She decided to walk to our house and got caught in a rain storm. This was her older sister, a very crusty stick in the mud. She is very verbal how she feels about cross gender and if she ever found out about me I believe she would build a wooden cross and wrap it with the pride flag and hang me on it and burn me on it.
Well when she arrived to my house drenched from the rain she went downstairs to undress and my wife had to give her some of my male clothes because she is taller then my wife.
I went to repair her car and when I got back it seamed like there was some tension in the air. I drove my sister in law back to her car and when I got back I asked my wife what happened. She told me she was getting her sister my track pants and a t-shirt and our granddaughter woke up and was crying and she left her sister downstairs telling her where my sweat socks or whatever else she needed were to finish getting changed. It case you need to know I keep all my male clothes in the basement and mixed with some fem stuff and I guess you know where this is going. My sister in law asked my wife why I have pantyhose and silk panties in my drawers and before my wife had a chance to make a bs excuse her sister stopped her telling her she didn't want to know what we do in our personal lives and there was some tension after. My wife was very upset with me because she dedicated a room for my fem stuff, she took a dresser from her mom and put it in our stare room so I could keep all my fem stuff in one place. She told me I have pantyhose in my male sock drawer and with my work clothes I have leggings and camisoles and feminine t-shirts.
She was so upset she told me that I should really seriously sit down with myself and ask myself where I want to go with this.
I don't like seeing her upset and especially about this and I don't want her feelings to change because I do like where I am with it, but I really had no leg to stand on and she was right and all I did was apologize.
This morning it happened again. I took my car to get detailed earlier this week and my wife drove me to pick it up. When I got home I opened the truck because they put all the stuff they find in the car in a box and put it in the truck. I look in the box and there was a black bra, O S$&t I automatically remember one night we were out and ran into her friends and we went back to there place and I took off the bra in the car and put it under my seat. My wife walks by me and sees the bra and tells me I'm slipping and that I deserved that my friend at the detail shop seen that. She asked if I sat down with myself yet and what I decided because it's going to be a matter of time before our children find something.
Well I decided I'm going to go through my drawers today and put my fem stuff in one place and try to be more responsible if I want to keep this in the closet. Both situations where circumstantial but these things do happen. I believe these are the things that women start to get upset, when we start getting comfortable and start slipping.

Oh my dear! Posting before finishing reading. I do really admire when we make a stand but these fragile agreements we make in DADT and 'well, it does say for better or worse.' Gosh the on the fly answer may have been, "I'm always taking his space with my stuff." But, geez, I live with someone that has that two dimensional trans hater attitude so, IMHO your wife really stepped in there for you. Alright, lemme go read the rest.

Oh Maria.
How could you get so complacent as to mix male and female clothes in the same space.
Nearly every CD on this forum has a place for their 'stash'.

Giving the SIL free rein to just help herself was another mistake. But I guess you know that now.
The bra under the seat could just as easily have been you wife's . No need to explain that one.
I hope that things are back to normal for you both.
A lesson learned.

Its pretty clear that your wife is uncomfortable with other family members knowing what is going on. And your older SIL has obviously reached a conclusion that did not require confirmation. That is unfortunate, but it is reality. Where that knowledge goes from this point is largely beyond your control.

Definitely accommodate your wife as best you can. That being said, there will be slip ups. Even living in a hyper-vigilant state is no guarantee against future mistakes. It might be fair to ask your wife what she wants with ‘this’ too, since you both will deal with the consequences.

I guess a closet isn't a closet if you leave the door open. I have a less open setting than you, so my things are kept in three boxes in the basement where nobody would look. On my occasional opportunities to dress up, I always double check to be sure all my things are stashed when I'm done. I now have the challenge of cleaning and reorganizing the basement and preserving the low profile of my stash.

Hi Maria :hugs: You sure get a lot of Exersize just by Pushing Your Luck, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

I can't imagine what you all go through. So much stress. I wish it didn't have to be like that.

Seems your sister had no problems with putting your clothes on. Turn about is fair play. I see no difference.

Billie, Yep. That's the kicker.

I guess I'm in a good place in that I keep everything femme in our spare bedroom. I have 3 dresser drawers with panties, bras, forms, makeup, nylons, and jewelry. The closet has my dresses and nighties on hangers as well as a wig in a Walmart plastic bag. I have a gym type bag on the closet form with shoes, and other miscellaneous stuff. When we will have guests overnight, I move everything to our bedroom on the other side of the house. I guess I'm fortunate that we don't have anyone that would come to our house in an emergency like what you described. However, everything I have is separated from my male clothing and is easily moved when needed. People coming to visit for a few hours would never have a need to go to the spare bedroom. My point is: Keep your femme things separate from your male clothing and keep it arranged in a manner it's easy to move should you need to move it. Admit your oversight to your wife and tell her you will do your best to never repeat it. Then ask her forgiveness.

R u sure u don't want to be caught, found out, as it were, Maria?:tongueout

Well Maria, your life seems to go from calm water to stormy seas. Not faulting you just going with your posts. This brings me back square on center of traditional female roles. Even though some may call it useless and a waste of thought. Maria?s situation is a good example of just how locked in our society still is. If it wasn?t would we still get all twisted up over a guy wearing women?s clothes? I think not. Not to far in our past men were wearing makeup and lace and women got beat if caught wearing pants. Amazing how things change depending on what group of ?sick in the muds? are pulling the handles. For me my wife supports me and my family got over it. But my sister was an airline captain and my brother a nurse. A little out side the box.
Hugs Rochal

My clothes are all mixed together. Some can be explained easily, some can't. If someone decides to snoop, the first part of the "explanation" is "Why were you snooping? What were you hoping to find? Are you satisfied now?"

Don't forget, pantyhose are warm, and hunters have been wearing them under their pants for a hundred years. Leggings are just long-underwear with patterns. Cami's can be a warm shirt under a man's shirt (I do that all the time).

Shame on you for going out in the rain to fix your sister-in-law's car for free. If that's the appreciation you get, maybe next time you should just look up the number for a tow truck for her.

PS, if your men's clothes fit her, your women's clothes probably would have too, and then she wouldn't have had to crossdress in your clothes.

Wow. I keep my small stash carefully hidden

Ah yes the thing you have to avoid is embarrassing your wife. More than anything that is the issue with my wife, and I am guessing the same with yours. You embarrassed her and that is too much to handle.

An example, the last couple of times I shaved my legs, she did not really get upset that I could tell. BUT, and this is a big one, if any family came over, she expected me to put on long pants. I comply to keep the peace.

Of course your wife is way more tolerant than mine. Still, you may want to lay low for a while. I am guessing it may be worse than you think if she brought up that question again. She is clearly dwelling over it.

Sandi

Looks that way doesn't it Doc. I believe it's more of just getting more comfortable with the situation and just trying to be free with it a little.

Maria, I keep my male and female clothes mixed. When my step daughter, who was a terrible snoop, lived with us, we kept a lock on our bedroom door to prevent her looking through our chest of drawers. I actually think your wife should have got the clothes for her sister, not sent your sister in law diving into your clothes.

yeah, "just rifle through my husband's drawers and pick what you want' seems a little over the top. On the other hand, I kind of agree with Doc, maybe part of u wants to get outted.