For sometime now

For Sometime now I have just logged in and read the post of everyones. Trying to get to the point of self acceptance. And I think I arrived.:)
The past 18 months or so like others was pretty rocky.
Went through 2 relationships that crashed. Both new of my feminine side from the word get go. The first had been divorced for a couple of years and went back to her former Husband . Her and I got a long super well.

About 4 months ago We ran into each other and she let me know that her realtionship with her husband didn't work out and she has been in the non dating mode since. She asked if I was seeing any one I said no. Sooooo we mutually agreed that hanging out with each other could be a good thing to do.

And so we started hanging out. And I learned a few things.

(1) She really dosen't mind my dressing.

(2) She does mind my insecurity with it.

Now she wants to date.

I know this will sound crazy when we first quit seeing each other I kind of felt like my heart got yanked out of my chest, thrown down on the ground, jumped up and down on, threw out in front of a oncoming 18 wheeler loaded with nothing but steel, had my heart picked up , run through a meatgrinder and then thrown in some remote waters with pirahnas in them.

OK I have to take a deep breath here......... Ok so the question is do I go back and see if there is anything really there?

Is this just a rebound thing for her??

I do know that the most important issues to me in a relationship is honesty, and being able to communicate. My dressing actually is like , Ok its part of me, Yes I do dress often But I do not want it to be the center of my life.

I want someone in my life that I can cherish , That I can make feel special. And Someone that just dosen't give a damn if I wake up one day and just want to dress and feel pretty.

Ok oK Ok I'm starting to ramble now... Anyway Thanks for listening and I'll try not to be a stranger......

Perhaps she is just lonely, but perhaps she wanted to give her husband that second chance. Just be who you are and see how things go with her. If she develops a strong love for you she will let you know, but you have to let her know how you feel as well.

Rory -- I'm not exactly the Love Doctor, so keep that in mind. No matter what type of relationship it is -- rebound or not -- communicate with her. Show her you love her. Let her reciprocate. And take it easy. If it's for real, she'll be there. Well, you probably know more that I do, but that's my advice for the day.

You wouldn't be the first I have heard of someone going back and making a much more successful time of it the second time around. My parents tried marriage to each other twice and the second time was a bigger shorter flop, but that doesn't mean that all would all be that way.

I suggest you have a good heart to heart talk with her, being 100% honest with her. This is not as easy as it may sound. Tell her how you feel. (First, you have to have some idea yourself). Ask her what each of you thinks they learned from the mistakes the first time around. Ask her if she would be able to help you overcome your insecurity with crossdressing. Share what each of you want from a second try. The more honest you both are, the better the chances that the best path will become evident to both of you.

Has she told you why their relationship ended in divorce the first time, and why it didn't work out the second time? Did she explain why she went back to her husband?

If it had anything to do with your CDing then, if you started dating again, the question would be, will she leave you again?

If she left her husband both times, not him leaving her, and then she left you once before, then the question that comes to mind is, can she remain in a relationship?

thanks for the input from everyone.

Hi Donna,

Her marriage ended because he was abusive to her and her son, He got help but they just couldn't make it work.

Her and I really do get along great. I think I am just concerned about getting involved and then have something happen. My daughter and I were talking abit earlier and she thinks that I should just be me and not worry about it, and have fun.

Sounds like good advice.

I would take it slow and exercise caution, while she may have the best intentions, subcontiously she may be drawn back to you because of the familiarity and safety and only believes she is OK with the dressing. Time will tell, so give it time. You sure don't want the same thing to happen again, and should it happen again, it is more likely your friendship with her will be over for good.

Julia

Hi Rory,I have not been on line much lately but felt a desire to comment on your thread.Your comment--
I want someone in my life that I can cherish , That I can make feel special. And Someone that just dosen't give a damn if I wake up one day and just want to dress and feel pretty.--seems to me to say go for it,have a close girlfriend relationship and see where it may lead and I'll bet it will be benifical for both of you.0.02

Hi rory when I read your post it almost sounded lie me. I was im a long term relationship she had been devorced for just about the same reasons she also knew about my dressing and had no problem about it in fact she encoraged me to step out of the norm and be myself she liked my nails long she talke me into a more fem hairstyle she was my dream. evertime the x came over the get the kids even thoug all she talked about how bad he was she would act different. one dayt out of the blue she lold me thay were gettinbg back togethet . to this day I slill cant belive it I have coe to the conclusion that theay are ment for each outher. all I can say If she did this onhe she can and wii most likly do it again best of luck
jennig0.02

That if you love something or someone in this case let them go. If they don't come back they were never yours to begin with. If they come back they're yours for ever. So take it one step at a time and give her a second chance. What do you have to lose? But you could gain something a wonderful relationship if you try it again. JUst give it a shot.

Be sure to let us know what you did and the outcome.

ttfn

Hello rory: I'm no relationship expert but a couple of stron points have been mentioned - first the lady gives it her all in her relationships. You were truthful to her and she was a good friend. She probably didn't mean to rip out your heart and stomp all over it, she was still half committed to her first and was trying to make it work. second - she trying to be truthful to you and also appears to want to make it work. All I know is that life is to short to sit back and talk about it - go for it - as an old Brit once said "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Hi Rory, First of all WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY your post really touches my heart with all the pain that you must have suffered. Should you decide to really take that plunge again and put your heart on your sleeve then I think a very open and honest discussion with her is of the utmost importance. You mentioned her child and yours as well, could an issue of the children be a reason for the first break-up? Could your cd'ing be an issue even though she said it wasn't? Good luck with whatever you decide to do but PLS keep us informed, OK?


Love; BonnieAnne0.02


PS: Beautiful profile pic