Some thoughts on a week en femme

I’ve only been really dressing as an adult for the last four years, encouraged and supported in this by my significant other. I’ve got a closet full of clothes, breast forms, a few pairs of shoes (hard to find stuff I like in sizes 14 or 15), and the opportunity to dress regularly.

One of the trade offs in my relationship is that my girlfriend doesn’t want me to shave my beard, which I’ve had for ~ 30 years, so that limits my options in terms of where and when I can dress. Other than occasionally going out in what I call “undercover femme” (androgynous female clothes, small forms, jacket or sweater), I’ve only gone out fully dressed on Halloween ore once or twice to fetish events.

With my SO on the left coast for 10 days on business I took the time to go to our place in the mountains and was determined to spend at least an entire week en femme, regardless of what I needed to do. This has turned out to be a little more complex due to a need to go out and do some shopping (since I’m wearing long nails) and the minor blizzard that has blown through (since I don’t have any women’s hard core winter outerwear). But I’ve made do, and have been en femme head to toe since last Friday.

In this week I have discovered a few things about myself, which is interesting, since I wasn’t expecting a journey of self discovery here. But I’m happy to take enlightenment where I find it.

1. I’ve never really self-identified as a crossdresser; it was just something I did. I now realize however, that it is a legitimate part of my identity, and that while being a CD does not define who I am it is a part of me that I have no issue accepting.

2. I used to think it was about sex. I knew that there was always a component that allowed me to relax and be more productive when dressed, but that arousal was a primary component of my dressing. After a week on my own I now know that the arousal is linked to my SO; being with her en femme allows the submissive **** side of me come to the fore But after a week on my own I know that I just enjoy being dressed. I like the mechanics of it, the effort I put in to shaving my legs, putting on makeup, picking out an outfit. I’m simply more relaxed and content when dressed than I usually am when in full boy mode.

3. I’m not passable, but I like sharing photos here. That surprises me quite a bit given my level of paranoia.

4. But then, I’m not really that paranoid; I’ve decided I don’t care if people know that I am a crossdresser. My only concern is the more practical one of not wanting my ex to find out because she is always looking for things to use against me in court. But even that can only go on for four more years (at which point none of my kids are minors).

5. I am incredibly lucky to have found a woman who I believe is not only the love of my life, my soulmate, and the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with, but also supportive of me in everything I do, including exploring my crossdressing side.

I'm glad to have found this site. while I haven't encountered anyone who is in a similar situation to myself, the support and care shown by many of the members is quite special.

Kali-