Helping My Dad Be Comfortable W/His Cross Dressing

Hi there!
My Dad is a cross dresser, albeit not a very good one. I have been taking him shopping as his alter ego, and I am not bothered by it at all. Well, I am a little jealous that he is skinnier, but that's about it.

Anyway,I am a little curious to know where you go to buy clothes - I have been taking him to the store and showing him how to pick out well-made, flattering clothes, but we have to take them home for him to try them on. I am afraid (especially now where he is so obviously a dude in a dress) of someone overreacting to him in the women's dressing room and he gets arrested for indecency or something. Is this a realistic concern?? I think it is human nature for him to be snickered at taking them into the men's room... I am getting tired of traipsing back to the store with returns & exchanges though.

There HAS to be a better way, and I would like your input so I can help my Dad be as comfy as possible in his new frocks :-) Thanks.

Stacy

Stacy
I've only bought a few things, but I go late at night at a 24hour retail store. A couple of strange looks but that is about it. The best advice I can think of was given to me and I haven't had the oppritunity to use it yet (my wife is very anti). :eek: Anyway, Macy's, JcPennys, Boscovs, Lane Bryant and other high end store in larger areas will usually be ok. It is recomended that you call ahead and just ask the question. :) Sometimes these stores will close to the general public and allow men to shop for a short time after closing, and some ask that you come in right after opening. In most of these stores the sale people make comission so they will help in order to get sales. There is a web site that helps answer these questions too.
I would be curiouse how Dad manage to get the courage to let the cat out of the bag, but it usually happens. There are some really nice make over places that will provide clothe, make up , wigs and transform him to the woman he would like to be. :p I can't wait to get to one of these. :rolleyes:

I would like to say your are really understanding and you must be a wonderful lady to not judge and let him live out artistic fantasies.

Danielle

I called Nordstrom's in advance, and was hung up on. So it sort of dampened my enthusiasm... the cosmetics counter at Meier & Frank spent all afternoon on him, though, which I thought was really cool of them.

My Dad had a nervous breakdown five years ago when my parents' marriage fell apart (mostly over his cross dressing, I now know). He has spent the last four years with a lousy therapist who tried to "fix" him... I moved him to Portland this year, where the atmosphere is a LOT freer than in upstate NY, and I couldn't stand having him live with me - he was so uptight! Since he has been living as "Christine" he is much more relaxed and easier to get along with. I totally prefer him this way - it has made it easier to live with him - I think that because I work from home, he didn't have a chance to dress up too often, and it really got him all twisted inside. I don't care if he's in a dress or not - he's still my Dad and I love him - and I don't like people laughing at him. I think if we can work on his "look" and develop some more feminine mannerisms, noone will be able to tell.

Since going out in public as Christine, he is so happy - and who am I to deny anyone happiness?? Especially just because they like frilly things?? The two pierced ears was the hardest thing to see, actually.

I am going to call a few other stores to see what their policies are - thanks.

Stacy,
What I recommend is to have him become a member here. Every one here is very understanding and we don't put up with rude behavor. Julie M. runs a very nice job of monitor. We have all been through the experiences and will be glad to take your father in hand and although we are not licensed to practice. We'll put him back in order.
Personally I have lived most of my life as a dresser. I don't like the word Crossdresser. My wife and two daughters treat me as if nothing is different with their Husband and Father. I have very few male clothes. I dress rather conservative. What I buy I buy Quality.
You have choices for shopping. The net is one of the best ways. There are mail order catalogs. And if you find the right shops they will treat you as anyother customer. Your idea of calling ahead is a good one. But with Nordstroms, call a manager of the department you wish to go. You will have better luck and if they hang up and treat you rudely write them a letter Nordstroms will not tolerate this behavor.
Your helping your father is the best thing for him. Try to get him into this forum. I think he will like the way he will be treated by the other ladies.
I hope I have helped and if you want to send a personal message I will answer any questions either you or your father has.
Summer

I buy all my clothes online, 99% of them from ebay. I have bought skirts, dresses, tops, shoes, pantyhose, bras, stockings, and so on all on ebay. I have gotten some great stuff for great prices. I don't have to deal with the anxieties of shopping at a store, and everything that goes along with that, including running into someone that I know. And I save a lot of money. :)

Stacy,

I have heard this over and over, "Once I found this site it gave me the courage to be myself". Although I am paraphrasing this pretty much sums up the experience most of us have had coming here. Summer is right. Get your dad to become a member here. I personally feel no shrink can match the understanding, caring and loving attitude you will see here http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_1_204.gif

He'll be surprised http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_11_8.gif at what a difference this can make in his life!

If he wants he can e-mail me at [email protected] if he has any questions.

https://home.comcast.net/~julimarie/.../Julie_sig.gif

Stacy:

You are a wonderful and understanding daughter to be so accepting of your father's crossdressing. It is not an easy thing to accept and you are terrific for wanting to help. That only comes from your love for him and that is great!

Just be supportive and he'll be fine making the adjustment himself. His knowing that you're not negatively judging him for his behaviour is the biggest help.

Good luck to you and come back to seek advice whenever you need it. The ladies here, including myself, have all faced the guilt and fears that are buried within him...we can be a big resource for both of you.

Paula J.

I am deeply touched with your post and got almost overwhelmed with emotions. I really admire your love. Julie and Paula have said all important things, I am just going to add more support. If you can get him in here, maybe in this thread even it would be possibly a whole new world for him that may give him an ease. It have helped me and many other not to feel isolated. And that is real healing.

Looking forward to see you both here!

All I can do is agree with all the posts above. Hope to see you some more.

About buying clothes.... I prefer to go to large shops. If I have chance to pickup stuff and try them on it is excellent, otherwise I get them home try combinations and decide what I am going to keep and what not. Returning is a bit nuisance but it works. Here in Canada there are large shops and everyone is busy. No shop heeds for returns they are part of shopping. Noone actually makes fuss if you are male in women's change room section. I go with my SO to shopping when she is up to trying something and I hang around in women's dressing to help her with the stuff, that is not out of ordinary. Last time I was trying plenty of things myself. I find it not too much of a big deal actually it was exciting experience. I also been shopping alone but then I shop by my measures. People who sell have in mind selling as we are usually good buyers. I am somewhat reluctant to go shopping online for the time being simply because I have found most of my needs in shops around. But I browse a lot for the items, ideas on what may be good looking on me or items I find I may feel desirable.

There are several threads here on forum that mention shopping. I have had some problem with finding shoes for example. Shopping tips are helpful.