Tell the mother ??

Now ive come across the biggest mind boggling question ever since i started crossdressing wen i was 14 do i tell my mum ??

If so how ?? I mean i would love to be able to talk to her about stuff, and maybe go shopping and that with her, yet will she react differently to the way i hope. Also i find the fact of no one else knowing, and maybe getting caught a litte exciting, a little buzz. I feel naughty for doing it, and it makes me happy, so the thought of getting caught is exciting. Anyway i love to be a girl, i love dressing up, i love being a baby doll, and wearing make up painting my nails, moisterisng my legs, wearing sexy underwear shorts skirts the usual. But is this something a mother needs to know ??

I'd like to know opinions and also experiances thanks loveee Katyeee

xxx Baby Doll xxx

only if you feel so comfortable that no matter what happens you can live with yourself after telling her .. not all mums are supportive . And do you have to tell her ... once your secret is out there you can't take it back
good luck i hope it works out for you ..

My guess is that most Moms want their sons to go off, get a job, be happy, marry a sweet girl (not be one) and have lots of Grandkids for her to spoil. They won't be supportive of your CD, only tolerant because they don't want to lose you. If you don't have to tell her, why do it? Same for your wife or girl friend.

telling mum ? this is a question only can awnser , when I told my mom it ended up being something that she knows but will not discuss. As MJ said can you live with it if it goes badly , I must however disagree with Charlie , to hide something of this magnatude from your wife or SO would/could have a very bad end , cause alot of tension and problems for you. I told my wife the day before our first real date and that was 12 years ago! remember the old saying "honesty is the best policy" good luck in whatever you decide. You will always have us.

I told my mum a year and a half ago as i thought my ex wife would tell her when we split up [she didn,t]. My mum is completely ok with it and told me she had suspected it when i was younger. She even buys me little "girly" gifts sometimes and has seen me as Debs a few times. It,s got to be your decision though, you know your mum better than anyone else. Good luck if you decide to tell her but don,t be too surprised if she,s allready guessed:happy:..:hugs:Debs

There's one thing you should know... mums know EVERYTHING... so it's more than likely she knows anyway ;) If you feel comfortable telling her, then tell her. Mums love their children unconditionally (well I do), so it's up to you :) I wouldn't go overboard though, she may freak out when you tell her... don't expect her to instantly love it and take you out shopping etc... Give her some information, what a CD is, what you expect from her and visa versa... but break it to her gently.

as "charlie90802" said,even if your mother is a tolerant person,
She probably has default expectations of you.
If you do tell her, then I would guess she might be shocked at first, and might flip out, she might feel hurt, she might even be thinking that she raised you wrong, so it would probably take a while for her to get to grips with it.

Im actually thinking about telling my mother about my dressing soon(it would make it easier for me concidering I live with her).
Shes pretty tolerant, but I think she might end up feeling guilty and think it was her fault for not having a male rolemodel around the house or whatever.If I do tell my mother , and she disowns me because of it, she can **** off:p.

But what you tell your mother is completely up to you.

Quote:

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she disowns me because of it, she can **** off.

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:eek:
you must try to tell your mom gently and you should have information she can read and give her time never give up on mum . you'll miss her terribly when she is gone ..you need to give her lots of love and understand as over time your mom as for you

My guess is this: if you have to ask this question, probably not a good idea.

I had to tell my mother about 15 years ago! I had a skirt that needed hemming!:heehee:

I think telling your mom really depends on the kind of relationship you have with her. If it is a good, unconditional relationship, then telling her could actually strengthen it, and as one person above said, she likely already knows, and then you don't have to keep anything secret (though it sounds from what you said that the secretness and potential for getting caught are part of the thrill). But look at the risks and benefits, if it could really hurt her, or your relationship with her, it may be best to keep it to youself.


I do highly disagree with one of the other posters above, though. I think you defnitely need to tell a SO or wife, and sooner rather than later. Honesty in a relationship is very important. I wouldn't necessarily do it on the first date, as it is best if she can get to know you a bit before making huge assumptions that may come with finding out, but hopefully within the first few dates. I can certainly understand a SO who feels betrayed when told later in a relationship. And if you tell her early and she definitely does not like it, you will know that either she will have to tolerate you doing it it without her around, or that she probably isn't the one you should be pursuing.

mom, you mean so much to me i cant put it into words. i have grown up watching you. i cannot begin to tell you how much you are too me. my first memories are of you, and pray god the last will be. you even with your faults, drinking beer, fishing, and having a good time, not to mention spoiling the g/kids, then sending them home all hopped up on sugar, but we wont mention that. it seems there are alot of dont mention thats. god i love em.

You have NO idea how your life will change after "THE TALK"!

You would think that the people who gave us life and nurtured
us would be the most supporting. NOT SO!

In my case, my mother took my stash in shopping bags
around to EVERYONE - family and friends - to try to
embaress me. (I am completely shunned by my family
even to this day).

Then she hit me in the head with cans!
Then she sprayed PLEDGE and other aerosols in my face.
Fortunately I wear glasses or I would be blinded now.
Then on 2 separate occasions she had my dogs put to sleep!!!
The final straw was attempted murder by scissors in the back!

It can get this BAD or it can be be a wonderfully accepting
experience.

Beware, my friend, you have alot to lose...Proceed with
caution! I wish you well.

My mam was told about me the other week ( my sister beat me to it!!), so when i sat her down to tell her, she said she already knew what i was going to say, which was a lot easier to deal with.
She was obviously upset, and would prefer that this was not happening to her son, but she understands how i feel and that its in my genes, and there is nothing i can do about it... She hasnt really said much more on the subject though, guess she is still getting used to the idea of a new part time daughter.
Vicky x

My thoughts on this subject are quite simple, think to yourself "How open-minded is Mom?" Is there anything in our past that would show you that she will be accepting and understanding? From my own experience I have had both reactions from Mom and Mother. Mom immediately sent me to a psychiatrist (our church's minister), and Mother, gave/loaned me clothing to wear until we could go shopping for my own things. This was of course 22/23years ago in my teens. While I have lost "Mom" from my life (she was only mom because she was raising me and was my adoptive mother), Mother is actually my step-mother, but is more of a mother to me than anyone else.

Take some time and think before you speak/act on this thought. You will have to live with the consequences of your decision.

Kandis:love:

All in all, I believe my mom to be a mostly accepting person. However, I honestly think she'd FREAK OUT if she knew about me. Apparently at one point when I was away at college she found a small stash of mine and instantly thought I was gay! She even went so far as to ask my siblings, and not ask me. To this day I wonder if she still suspects me to be gay. That was only a year ago, and since then I've gathered quite the collection of clothes. I fear every day that she'll find my stuff and disown me. I just know its not a good idea for her to know, but I also wonder if telling her would lessen the blow. It really depends on your mother......

Well I was spitefully outed by my ex to my whole family (which is the worse thing someone could have done to me) But really my Mom said it wasn't any of her business. She just treats it like something I do on the side like motorcycles. No Biggie.:happy:

My mother was always telling me not to dress up again when she saw me wearing my sister's clothes, but she never said take them off now. My sister loved to dress me up, and I loved dressing up in her undies and clothes, so we did it a lot. About the time I was 12, mom just gave up telling me not to dress up, so I did it even more then. By that time, I guess she knew I'd never be a real boy. And I never was. :D

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

In my opinion, the only person who NEEDS to know would be your S.O. Anybody else is up to you. I don't plan on telling my family because it's none of their business. I'm a realistic person. Telling somebody you know that you crossdress is a HUGE deal. This is why most of us keep it a secret. But I'm becoming less and less afraid of somebody finding out.

I just wish crossdressing were more socially acceptable so it would be easier to tell people about it. Maybe some day all clothes will be unisex and there won't be gender roles anymore. Everybody will be free to be who they want to be. Probably won't happen in my lifetime, though.

Only you can make the descion as to whether you tell your mum or not. If you do try to have as much info for her to read but don't bombard her all at once, give her time to think things through.

Never did tell. Both of my parents passed away withou ever knowing. They would have opposed it.

Thanks lovelys, for ur kind and supporting messages, i will take on boored all that is said to help come to an answer :) means alot to me =) Mwaah!! xxx

I told my Mom several years ago (when I was in my late 30's), because I could feel that she was curious as to why I had never had a long-term relationship with a woman. I told her about my dressing and that the relationships in the past did not last because I believed in total honesty with those women and none of them were accepting of it (but my Mom is...bless her soul). She sometimes even buys girly stuff for me.....how wonderful is that ? I feel blessed to have her support !!

Alana, that's a true blessing

Before I would tell my mom, I would do something like watch a crossdressing related document or something with her and hear some of her opinions about it. I know she probably would accept me but atm my crossdressing isn't too big of a deal so I don't really need to tell her or anybody else.

Good luck :thumbsup: