Dressed at therapy

As I have written in other posts, I am in therapy to help me deal with my CDing in the context of my marriage (not to get rid of it). I recently went to a therapy appointment as Stephanie and my therapist was very positive. The next appointment I went in drab, and my therapist encouraged me to come to the following appointment as Stephanie. So the question here for all of the gals who are in therapy, do you go en femme, and how does your therapist feel about it? As always, it is great to hear from all my sisters out there....Stephanie

I have been to a number of therapists, both gender-specialists and not. None ever suggested or requested that I come as Robyn nor have I wanted to do so... For me and I guess my therapists, it doesn't matter how I look. If one of them said, "Let's have a session with Robyn," I would come as Robyn. No big deal for me... I am paying them good money for a reason and their therapy better be good no matter what I am wearing!

Robyn P.

Dressing, it was part of my RLT, I'm on my second year, and it has been a living hell, society is not as acceppting, understandably, but we all have the right to persue happiness... don't we. i love dressing up and going out, wish I had the courage to go out more :heehee:

My therapist has said that if i want to turn up as Debs at any time she would encourage me to do so. She has seen photos i,ve shown her and given me a very positive response, but the main reason i won,t go as Debs is because i just don,t feel comfortable about going out, although i really want too.

I went to my therapist on my long lunch-break, so going dressed would not have been an option, as I left and then returned to work. My crossdressing was discussed (I picked a cross-dressing trained therapist) but coming in dressed was never mentioned. I do not think that she would have not allowed it, as she often said 'If you are comfortable in a dress, put one on when you get home each night'. To bad my ex didn't say that to me.

I was told to come dressed if I wanted to. Never did.

I think many of us don't follow a therapy... So when we dress it is not as the result of a therapist advice...

However, dressing "en femme" may be perceived as a therapy for some of us, without having the need for atherapist...

:hugs:
Eugenie

I was in therapy for about 3 and a half years - but not just because of CDing. My therapist was wonderful... she told me I could come dressed how ever I felt comfortable. I went a few times dressed and she was so sweet about it.. it also gave me my first opportunity for a daytime adventure!

She never mentioned it one way or the other. But my issues mainly dealt with social anxieties, so being more anxious would not have helped at that point.

If I may ask, what do therapist do for you? or what are some things they tell you?

In my humble opinion, not as a gender therapist, but as a transgenderist who has lived full time for the past eight years, undergoing real life test (RLT) and being required or even encouraged to go to therapy dressed should only be required for transsexuals following the Harry Benjamin standards, or for those who are considering going full time. For part time or closeted crossdressers, these directions are inappropriate. If you're a crossdresser and your therapist suggests them, get a new therapist.

If you're a crossdresser, permitting you to come to therapy dressed is fine. Encouraging, suggesting, or requiring it are not.

Blessings,
Rikki

I think that for someone that has been aprehensive about going out in public dressed that would be the perfict operatunity to go out and also get an unbiast opinion. If it were me i'd do it.:hugs:

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Originally Posted by Farrah

If I may ask, what do therapist do for you? or what are some things they tell you?

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Your question was "in general, not CDing" so my response will be the same.

For me, it was to help me with any problem that I felt comfortable talking about to the therapist. If it is about smoking, drinking, spending too much time with the guys and not enough with the so, temper, gambling, ect. You inform the therapist what you want to talk about, and they will be there to help you deal with it. You can talk about a multitude of different issues. Remember, some of the things that you talk about are not your problem, but the problem of someone else. Like crossdressing, spending time alone, sports activities and so on. You just have to learn how to appease your mate and still have time to do the things that you enjoy. If you feel that you might benefit from some sessions with a therapist, check with your human resources dept. and they will help you on the road to a therapist. Everything is strictly confidential, and the insurance picks up most of the cost. I only paid $17 out of a $75 weekly charge. Good luck if you decide to go.

I have attended the last three sessions en femme. My therapist is the one who suggested that I come dressed if I felt comfortable in doing so ( my wife told her that I had a different personality when I was dressed). The very next seesion I arrived in full femme. My therapist told me that after our visit she could never envision me as anyone other than Dawn. It is my intent to transition and I feel completely comfortable going to sessions dressed. My wife on the otherhand is not as comfortable or joyous about it. I do not ever intend not to go to therapy again without being myself.

I would agree with others who say that unless it is your intent to live full time, it may not be the best thing to do in showing up dressed. You will be seen and you need to be able to accept the questioning stares and/or gestures made by those who see you on the way to session.



Dawn

Yes dear, I have been going dressed for a long time & of course I do now that I am 24/7. My therapist says that since I have been coming dressed, she has seen a person with many trouble turn into someone with joy over flowing. What can any one say when it makes a person the happiest they have ever been. That's my :2c: worth.
Good luck dear.
Hugs, Janelle

My therapist was very supportive. I dressed at just about every sessions after the first couple, even at sessions held in a local church! It was nice and very helpful to let Jeannie out in public.

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Originally Posted by RikkiOfLA

In my humble opinion, not as a gender therapist, but as a transgenderist who has lived full time for the past eight years, undergoing real life test (RLT) and being required or even encouraged to go to therapy dressed should only be required for transsexuals following the Harry Benjamin standards, or for those who are considering going full time. For part time or closeted crossdressers, these directions are inappropriate. If you're a crossdresser and your therapist suggests them, get a new therapist.
If you're a crossdresser, permitting you to come to therapy dressed is fine. Encouraging, suggesting, or requiring it are not.
Blessings,
Rikki

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This sounds like excellent advice to me. Unless your main purpose in going to therapy is to deal with your gender issues, dressing at sessions is not important.
I was in therapy for awhile. Dealing with my CDing took about 1/2 an hour! But, I'm the same person as Sherry or Robert, only my appearance changes!

If your personality, sexuality, or gender decisions change when u dress, it may be important to dress for your therapist. So that they may understand YOU!
RS

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Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

If your personality, sexuality, or gender decisions change when u dress, it may be important to dress for your therapist. So that they may understand YOU!
RS

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So right! And that is exactly what my therapist has stated. She now understands, she has seen the difference between my male side and my female side. Therefore, she has suggested that I continue to come en femme. I didn't know that I had that distinct of a change in personalities. It must be obvious though, since three others that know of Dawn have also said the same thing.



Dawn

i traveled to dallas a few weeks ago for about a week, met some other girls one from the forum, the main reason for my visit was to see a "new directions coach" which i believe is what she called herself! she diagnosed me with gender dysphoria(duh!) and right now probably expects me to have seen a therapist around here several times and be on my way to becoming a woman( which she said seemed the logical conclusion to her) given my appearance, mannerisms, peacefulness and all around feminity, which she never saw me in drab but said that she saw me as totally feminine and couldnt see how i could be comfortable as a man given the discussions that we had about my childhood and different things and the overall presentation that she saw when i walked into her office! she told me that some are meant to be women , some have fetishes and i seemed to be interested in just being a normal(not a drag queen) female! right now i am still not sure of what to do! when other people are concerned it gets so complicated! i know that i had such a great time just being "me" and could see how i could just blend in with a few adjustments, i dont feel comfortable going to a couselor in drab actually because its kind of embarassing to think about talking of such things while not full dressed!, suzanne

I was in counseling at one point with my SO. She wanted to address the subject of CD'ing but I was able to avoid it- just wasnt ready to tlk about with her and a 3rd party thn. I went by myself one time and was dying to go en femme and surprise her but chickened out at the last minute. I dread tht every once in a while. What fun tht would have been!!!

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Originally Posted by Sinthia

...'If you are comfortable in a dress, put one on when you get home each night'. To bad my ex didn't say that to me.

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We wouldn't need therapists if our wives were more accepting, would we?

I have always worn a dress when I see my gender therapist. She likes that I do it and always tells me that I am more than welcome to wear a dress to therapy sessions.

A few years ago I went to a male "gender" therapist in Dallas. He had some strange contraption in the chair that was comprised of several electromagnetic coils inside leather sleeves on the arms, seat and back of the chair. Being an electronics designer I asked him what it was. He responded that the system generated low frequency magentic waves that were supposed to induce a deep relaxation in the patient. Sounded kind of wierd but I sat on it after carefully checking for exposed wiring. I felt nothing from it nor did I feel more relaxed.

What really was unexpected was that he had several dolls around the office dressed in the most dramatically frilly and lacey clothes you can imagine. he placed several of the dolls within easy reach of me while he asked questions. I assume he was waiting for me to grab one and scream" make me like her doc"

He tried to direct me quickly into accepting that I was a transsexual and should immediately start hormones and SRS living under the Harry Benjamin standards. All this without me saying anything along the lines of feeling like I was TS. To make matters even stranger, I came from work and was totally en drab- nothing remotely feminie in appearance or demeanor when I walked in.

Anyone else have this typpe of experience?

Then on a trip to a second therapist, I was treated to MY hour's worth of time listening to HER problems.

So I think I will pass on the therapy angle for a while and just enjoy myself.

Christine

she asked that I do just that. So, of course, since I did anyway all the time, I did.

I had to pass by a building that was being re-constructed/re-done at the time.

Every one of those guys stopped work to watch me walk from my car to the therapist's office, and made a LOT of hooting noises.

I told the therapist I didn't need to dress this way or that way.

I was what I was regardless of clothes.

(what a turn on though!)