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I get this need to cease to exist. To just crawl into a dark hole and hide from the rest of the world, to sleep and not have to care or deal, think or feel anything. To stop breathing... To stop existing.
And why?
Because i find myself spending all my breathing seconds waiting for help.
This waiting is agonising.
But GDB...you need to go out to find the help you need!
At least phone out.
Who knows your pain or your need for assistance if you don't tell someone?
Please?
:idontknow:
I'm in the UK and on a waiting list to see a therapist... a list i've been on for over 18 months now.
I've told my doc how it's getting to me. I've emailed the guys i'm going to see. But apparently there's nothing i can do but wait. And i dont have the money to go private.
Free counseling at school?
Free or co-pay counselling from work?
Advice from a local LGBT org?
What's up with that NHS of yours that can't supply timely treatment for those who need it?
Sheesh!
it's these ass holes that are keeping me waiting.Quote:
Originally Posted by deja true
I dont want to be sat having a chat to some stranger about how i feel while i wait for things to happen. I need to actually be getting somewhere.
Is there any way you can get around it? I'm not very familiar with the NHS so I don't know if there are any walk-in clinics or such that could help speed things up.
Keep pressing your GP...and if you can get a phone number of the place you are going to rather than emailing, call them up and say you've been on the 18months and its not acceptable...im assuming this is for the first initial appt to be referred to the gender clinic thereafter?Quote:
Originally Posted by GalacticDeath Bandit
It took me over 2 years to get any form of therapy except of course the medication they dole out here in the UK. Then it went from bad to worse. They canceled every other week, then she got pregnant refused to transfer me cos i was 'a fascinating case' and she would return in 11 months. But if I needed help during that time I only had to ask - I asked...O no we cant see u your Dr S. case you will have to wait. She returns for one week and then leaves. Meanwhile three OD's 2 hospital admissions nothing. Thats the NHS!
Ended getting referred to a Personality disorder Clinic - no you don't have a PD but we will take u on - but you can't talk about your gender issues! A few more OD's more hospital admissions - wham I have a PD suddenly! Which one did the NHS give me? Thank God my psychologist at the hospital sorted a CPN and other support. She moved hell and earth to get a 2nd consultant to agree with GID and within 5 mins talking to me said he knew as soon as I walked in the room I had GID and has sorted out funding and appointment. Therapy though? NHS have no idea how to help..
But the thing I did learn and Kieron is right about - talk to your GP, get a community psychiatric nurse. Push for help, there is some although it is a bit of a lottery depending where u live. CPN's are in every district, they will often refer you to a Community mental health worker. Try Mind or another mental health group. I started going to an art group for pple suffering from mental health issues. They are a varied bunch, its cheap, you can drop in, drop out, have no talent, talk or be silent. Check out via the internet local groups or ask your GP. My CPN has really helped and she keeps a close eye on me. She often spots me going in a downward spiral long before I can.
It is important to get support, I know you want to hide under the duvet, I think we all have/do and many of us would join you.
The NHS is not perfect but it does eventually move.. just sometimes needs a shove. Try your GP again. Let them know how bad you REALLY feel.
Good Luck, keep posting, vent and know we are all rooting for you!
I am going to pop down on wednesday to the walk in clinic. I'm not usually a depressed person. In fact, quite the opposite! Today i feel fine. I'm my usual general happy self... which i prefer. I just cant stand this fluctuation of mood and depressiveness! And it's all because of this stupid GID crap.
Just before Feb i went to my docs cos of depression and they just shoved me away with some prozac. That was a really bad time for me and i ended up quitting my education because i just simply couldn't even get out of my house without breaking down. Hell will freeze over before that happens to me again. My docs guna do something about it, i swear, if i have to hold her at knife point to get it.
I think we all get that way sometimes.. especially being trans..
It's an uphill climb, and it really sucks.
I am clinically depressed, and have many other mental issues as well.. and before I was medicated, I was a mess. I was cutting myself, and thinking about suicide constantly..
But now, I'm on a medication that stabilizes my moods by regulating the amount of two different types of feel-good chemicals going in and out of my brain.. and I'm doing alot better.
Of course, getting on T also helped.. that totally evened things out.
I also see a counsellor once a week, and I am in Dialectical Behavior therapy (DBT), which totally changes the way you think, act, and approach certain situations and just life in general.
There is help out there.. the best place to start is by talking to a doctor about it. They can usually point you in the right direction, and they CAN prescribe medications.. but remember, medication isn't the only answer.
If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here to listen, okay?
I know what it's like to be where you are right now.