Having a close friend...

Hi girls,

How many of you long for and need a close friend? I am talking about someone who understands and accepts us and even further - one who we can open up to about our deepest womanly feelings. As I have "matured" as a girl, I find that I have some very deep emotional feelings. These are feelings that I cannot seem to express as a man. I have tried to open up to my spouse about these feelings. I am having a very difficult time, fearing "what if she does not understand".

The "onion" is peeled to the core. Now do I dare let her know what is inside the core?


Victoria

I have someone My best friend for the lsst 40+ years my wife. :hugs:
Angie

Thanks Angie. I also have a good relationship with my wife and she is very supportive. Have you talked to your wife about your very deepest feelings. have you cried?

Victoria

Hi! Wow...can I identify with your thoughts. I long deeply for another to simply talk with...to do girl stuff with...to be best friends. Wife is deceased...travel much with career...hard to make LT friendships. How do you connect with another ts?? I am not seeking romance so much as simple friendship. It is SO lonely out here. Perhaps there is no real solution. Anyhow, thanks for listening to me. I know that there are no simple answers to this need for eye-to-eye friendship with another like me. Well, thanks for this site and the opportunity to share with all of you!! LOL

roni

I have few close friends, and I cannot come out, about cding. I have told a few people, and, they weren't too pleased, or did not understand why.

I think it is absolutely great to have a GG friend in particular who can help, support and critique one's dressing. That may be a wife, gf or SO or it may just be a friend.

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Originally Posted by Victoria Pink

Thanks Angie. I also have a good relationship with my wife and she is very supportive. Have you talked to your wife about your very deepest feelings. have you cried?

Victoria

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Hi Victoria, I have a very supportive wife and only came out to her about 6 weeks ago after 27 years. I too have the deep emotional feelings I am trying to cope with after suppressing them for years, it is very hard. I just had a talk with her tonight and I cried and cried and told her some things but some things I dont know how to put into words. i dont understand some of my feelings myself so I feel how can i expect her to understand? I am trying to work up the nerve to meet someone on this site that lives nearby, she has extended me and my wife an invitation but yet something has so far kept me from following through. I have hid this for so long I think it will just take me time to accept myself and feel comfortable with who I have become or always was. I understand the need for someone like us to talk to. Maybe you can find someone on this site that live close to you. Crying hurts but it seems to help me. May we all find that inner peace and love of ourselves that we need. A big hug Lena

What a great topic. I was thinking earlier today about how members feel about 'sharing secrets' with another. Women traditionally seem to open up to one another about all sorts of topics! amazing. We, even if transgendered to some extent or another, still suffer from the 'male aloofness' that doesn't support being truly open with personal matters.
No, I regret I don't have anyone that I can 'tell all' as a person to person, rather than the anonymity of the Internet. My wife of 26 years knows that I am transgendered, but we don't discuss it-literally the 400 lb gorilla in the room. I don't push crossdressing 'in her face'-keep it private. This always strikes me as so bizarre-not to address the subject. We get along fine otherwise, and I try very hard not to do anything to embarass her. Once in a while, we might talk about something in the news that relates to the issue of transgenders,etc. It is awkward. I wish it were different, but at least we are getting along. helenr

Great topic I have discussed it with my SO to some degree and thought about joining the local TG support group to meet some of the local crowd but he is not real hot on the whole idea.
I don't know if its a jealousy issue with him but it may be. I do have a few GG freinds that know about me and I have been out with in public with them one time but they have their own lives and families and aren't ones I could go too just to "hang" with and girl talk with.It would be nice to have a sis close by.

I can understand your point. I am however very lucky to have a CDer best friend and an accepting wife. I do have a very close friend that is really one of my most important friend that I would love to come out to.

Victoria I'm a simple person The deepest I get is does this skirt look good .:hugs: But after 40 years married I can ask her anything.:hugs:
Angie

After 22 yrs I can talk about anything with my wife as well. It does help to have someone try and help. You understand who and what you are. I have been dressing and purging for about 30 yrs now and only the last 3 have been at all really fun. I have shared with mine all and hope to live and grow more as time goes on. I guess after all that, it just means to all, find someone anyone to be your friend, companion or other and it will really help out with feelings. Also a really good shade of lipstick helps take your mind off problems I find!

Yeah, I'm with you. I'd love to open up to a confidant, some who is unconditionally & completely supportive and would be my sounding board & shoulder to lean on. Don't will all need a girlfirend or boyfriend just like that!

This is an age old problem and exist when I am in either points of my life. I guess my problem is that I have always identified stronger with my feminine side than masculine side. I have always been highly sensitive, cried easy, wanted to share my day, my life, and my secrets. I am passionate, and very deep feeling. My spouse and I can't share that, because if I am on the one end (female) of the feelings that I have, she is on the other (masculine) side of hers. She is the strong type that does not want to share or talk often. That would rather not be disturbed during her favorite show to chat with me. That has little time to open up about what is going on inside of her and does not want to share this with me or anyone else. I have male friends that I can talk to but they are like most guys they want to fix things. I had female friends that I could share with, but we are not that close anymore. Then comes the Lauren feelings. I would love to share my secrets as a cross dresser, as a male that feels and thinks and enjoys being more like a women, but I am not able to open up that with anyone. I would embrace the opportunity to have a gf that could meet for coffee, chat, window shop with, and just enjoy being ladies with. It is a difficult situation sometimes.

Lauren

The short answer is yes, I would love to have someone to talk to about dressing, emotional issues and the how and whys of CD. My best friend however, my wife wants the man she married, and does not want to hear about the evil topic of CD. She is totally non-supportive. When I made friends with another CD, she listened and was most supportive to the extent that she wanted to become my lover. So far, I can't win!

Thanks for your input on this topic. I have loving spouse who knows and shares a lot with me. She has helped me imensley! I am finding now that some very deep rooted feelings are bubbling up in me. I have told my wife a lot. The dificult part has been opening up and letting these feelings flow.

I am open to visiting with others who have these feelings. I can understand what you are going through.

I think some of these discussions with others could help me too.

Victoria

I have the most wonderful best friend for the last 17 years. She was the first one I came out to 14 years ago. She has helped me understand what I really am, and is standing side by side with me on the path I am now on. I would not be here at all if not for her love and support, love her to bits.

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Originally Posted by Victoria Pink

Hi girls,

How many of you long for and need a close friend? I am talking about someone who understands and accepts us and even further - one who we can open up to about our deepest womanly feelings. As I have "matured" as a girl, I find that I have some very deep emotional feelings. These are feelings that I cannot seem to express as a man.
Victoria

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Greetings Victoria:

I do not have a spouse. I live alone. And I SHARE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. I long for someone often with whom I can share my feelings, thoughts, emotions and intimate talks. I crave it more than sex or love-making. I would enjoy having a friend with whom I can sit down, look in the face, and share my Self with and be accepted without judgment. Someone besides the counselor with whom I talk every couple of weeks. Someone who will give me a hug when I need or feel the need for a hug. Someone who will be truly concerned.

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Originally Posted by Roberta Llyan

Greetings Victoria:

I do not have a spouse. I live alone. And I SHARE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. I long for someone often with whom I can share my feelings, thoughts, emotions and intimate talks. I crave it more than sex or love-making. I would enjoy having a friend with whom I can sit down, look in the face, and share my Self with and be accepted without judgment. Someone who will give me a hug when I need or feel the need for a hug. Someone who will be truly concerned.

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My thoughts entirely Roberta, you said exactly what i was thinking :)

I understand your feelings Roberta. It has to be someone you can trust very much and who has lived this experience. I am finding that these feelings that I have go back a very long way and they are very hard to bring out in a way that someone could understand.

As I told my wife, I have witnessed birth of a child, but there will never be a way that I could actually "experience it". What I mean is that I can tell her what I feel and I can speak about what it has done to me - and she can listen - but does she fully understand?

One thing that has been very good is that when I have explained or talked about some of the things inside she has said that this is how it is for a girl. That is how she feels. So that validates some of my feelings.

Victoria

Victoria

I can honestly say that I never had a friend as close as the friend I have in my wife, Debbie, because she is the one person on earth that I have let see all of the me that is me. She knows both the girl and boy that is me, and loves me totally.

You must tell her. There can be no question to that, for you can't keep it bottled up inside, and to not tell her would be devastating should she ever find out, for that breeds mistrust.

You should also stress that it in no way changes who you are, for you are still the same loving man who married her, who she fell in love with. In fact, if anything, it shows how deeply you love her, for you surely fear hurting her, and trust her totally.

Invite her to join her, be very open and above board. The rewards will be great

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

Roberta, Yep, Iloated, no one to be close with, at all, or open up about cding with. I am closest to my two new cats, after losing my last dear cat, to coyotes. I also am in a church, which is condemning of all cding, and masturbation, but, I am somewhat accepted, but, I think some there might suspect i am homosexual, or effeminite, as I am about the only old single man, with no family . I have no close relatives, either, pretty much a loner.

I thought my ex wife was that best friend - the person I could tell anything too.. and at first she was. But now, even though having lost a wife, I have many, many more friends who love and accept me for just who I am - including psychologists, lawyers, teachers, business owners. I think when you take that big step towards accepting yourself, the next logical step is to reach out... You will know the time and place and the who... Trust me dear friend, there are many GGs out there who who will gladly accept us as friends. Have faith.. believe....

I have a female friend, and although I was dating and she would always ask me how it went, I think she knew..

Now I have an SO and we still talk about how wonderful our lives are, she has an SO also...but I KNOW if I came out to her I'd be OK.

She is a true close friend, my SO is my best friend though ...

I have several close friends, none I feel I could express my innermost feelings with, including my wife. For some reason that I don't understand, I can't come right out and say what I need or want to say in verbal communication, especially if emotions are involved. For some reason my brain slips a cog and continues to slip and I can't for the life of me say what I want or need to.

But, I'm able to put my thoughts in written form rather well. Some time ago I got acquainted with a girl on this forum that I correspond with all the time and we share things that I wouldn't dare share with others friends and I plan to keep it that way.