who are you ??? Wendy thinks.....

hello Wendy here i don't post a lot over here .... but i did a while ago..... things change....... we change ...... every thing changes..... oh... yes this thread......


OK i have been thinking ... i know your going omg here we go again....... any way here's what i came up with .... before i had a clue about my little hobby ... i thought i was some kinda of a perv.... i mean sneaking womens clothing .... then come to find out omg they have a name (READ LABEL) for what i do cross dresser ..... i stopped for a while and as you know sooner or latter had to revisit it..... soooooooo OK not so bad i am a cross dresser...... could have been worse this i can live with .........or could i ???????

oh i remember dressing when ever i could ......... and shopping omg shopping..... being excessive compulsive and shopping .......and other cross dressers with their threads about what they did and it always seamed like every one had this thing to one up the next...... (must be that guy thing) .......


now i get more so settled in how i dress and what i wear i wear Wendy things ... just what are Wendy things??....... comfy and relaxed .......with a thing for .... heels got to have them ......and comfy heels not those come fuc* me heels .... comfy......

OK i lost my desire to go shopping ...... i just about stopped dressing .... got freaked out by it all..... and cured myself of cross dressing completly..... yes it's true ...... out of thousands of people that have asked if one could or have tried i quit cross dressing .......it's true.... done no longer a cross dresser.......not ever going back finished........... done..........


oh i dress in womens clothing ...... it's Wendy's clothing my other person i share this body with is a guy ..... and "HE" is not about to be some kinda cross dresser ...... and Wendy sure is not going to cross dress.... "HE" wears "HIS" clothes and Wendy hers ....now what the hell am i???? not a cross dresser....... not a GG..... i could be trans........ but who knows ????......what i do know is i am a mess both physically and with some other "ISSUES".........


i have hair down to my butt .... i got boobs ...... and a the drop of a dime my thoughts just go from "HIS" thought to Wendy's thoughts some times it happens with out even being aware of it ......

i laugh when people talk about being fem or acting / playing the part.... i never thought of that as who i am ..... lol if this sounds right i don't do what i do to be like some one else i do this to be who i am......





OK so what is the point to all this ??/? what is this thread all abought????......

going to ask the brave ones that read all this a simple few questions......


for what ever reason you dress........ do you find that over the years you have changed????? do you still look at the part of you that comes out as the same person that you started all this with ????????..........

and lastly if your a cross dresser do you believe that some one can stop????and still dress and not be anything more that who they are???????.........

for what ever reason you dress........ do you find that over the years you have changed????? do you still look at the part of you that comes out as the same person that you started all this with ????????..........

good post Wendy,
yes i have changed over time i am so comfortable with who i am. and there is only me not him and her ...

and lastly if your a cross dresser do you believe that some one can stop????and still dress and not be anything more that who they are???????.........

if i read you right. then i was a cross dresser but not any more i an just me.
and can some one stop ... no i have never met one that as quit

As in many other aspects of my life my crossdressing and my attitude have made gradual changes. I have accepted the fact that crossdressing is a part of my lfe and have become comfortable with that. While I am out only to a few people I make less effort to conceal my dressing.
I can quit dressing any time I wish. I can. Sure I can. I just don't want to right now.

Wendy,

I don't think I have changed so much as my perspective has changed.

Like you, I went most of my life thinking that I was some kind of pervererted freak. I had no idea of the concept of gender identity vs. sexual orientation vs. biological sex. And every time I tried to do any research online, the only search results that I got were porn, which just added fuel to the fire.

Then a few years ago I found a few sites that talked about heterosexual crossdressers. I was amazed to find that I was not alone, there were others out there like me. There were even a few that talked about coming out to their wives, and that their wives did not divorce them. Just over a year ago, I came out to my wife, after almost 30 years of marriage, and my knowledge that she is an amazing woman was reinforced.

Then found a couple more support sites, and in asking questions, and more importantly for me, answering questions, I started to learn about myself. I started to learn what being transgendered meant to me. And then I saw the words "dual gendered", which described exactly how I felt. It was a major revelation.

So, I have changed a bit, but, the way that I see myself, and what I understand myself to be has changed dramaticly.

Grace,
Bobbi

I've changed and it's for the better. Because of the amount of information that's is available now as compared to 35 years ago with the knowledge that I am not alone, nor any more perverted than the next person has eliminated the guilt and shame I felt about being a crossdresser for most of my life. With age and experience, the perspective I have gained about this curious little pecadillo of mine has allowed me to finally accept it for what it is and what it means to me. I even finally shared the secret with my wife and her acceptance of it has made all the difference. Like the old saying goes I wish I knew then what I know now.

I've not changed. I've never had any bad notions about crossdressing. It is what I do, what I need to do.

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if your a cross dresser do you believe that some one can stop????and still dress and not be anything more that who they are???????.........

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A former crossdresser who continues to dress and portray a fem image is one who has usually transitioned.

One who portrays a fem image at times and a male image at other times, can label themselves anyway they want, if at all. Society still sees them as crossdressers/transvestites.

If someone wants to say they've stopped being a crossdresser, I'm not one to say different. Doesn't matter to me if they prefer not being labeled.

I'm a transgendered crossdresser and am not ashamed of the label.

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for what ever reason you dress........ do you find that over the years you have changed????? do you still look at the part of you that comes out as the same person that you started all this with ????????..........

and lastly if your a cross dresser do you believe that some one can stop????and still dress and not be anything more that who they are???????.........

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Well of course I have changed. Now that I am older, I generally do not wear my skirts so short. I tend to dress more for comfort. All kidding aside, I am more at ease and accepting with myself instead of living a life of denial.

Can someone stop? I don't know. As for me, sure I could stop if were exiled to some deserted South Pacific island. Then again, I could get really creative with empty coconut shells.

I'm unclear about your last questions. Sorry.

I guess my bottom line is that I am happy with who I am. Therefore, I don't have any motivation to change away from being a crossdresser. Like anyone, regardless of their gender, personality types, or whatever, change of any degree is inevitable because of influences and experiences.

Babette

No, I'm not at all like I was at age 13. The female in me is still there, strong as ever. But she's matured just like the rest of me, and has grown to a comfort level that was not so attainable as an adolescent nor as a young adult. I don't have much of a split personality, but I do act more feminine, of course, when I'm dressed. It's a conduit, in many ways to that part of me that has little means of expression as a male. But my thoughts are really the same whether en femme or in guy mode.

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Originally Posted by Wendy me

1. for what ever reason you dress........ do you find that over the years you have changed?????
2. do you still look at the part of you that comes out as the same person that you started all this with ????????..........
3. and lastly if your a cross dresser do you believe that some one can stop????and
4. still dress and not be anything more that who they are???????.........

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1. Yes, I've come to accept my CDing as a gift and not a burden
2. No, Both Tracy and myself have changed over time
3. All evidence is that no, we can't stop. It may ebb and flow, but it never goes away
4. This final question I don't understand, you may have to clarify

Love, Tracy

When i was young ( the ice age ) i use to dress in what ever i could at the time so it was only odd things and kept it a secret because i thought that there was something odd about me, then when i got married i had the opportunity and access to more cloths , so i took it ( yes i know now that was wrong ) in my self i saw nothing wrong in what i liked to wear but knew that others may not share my view so still kept it a secret, i just thought it was best that way .
Then one day i happened to be at home dressed fem and watching the television ( was going to put tv but that might confuse some ) when a program came on about transvestites, well i was sort of in shock " i am a transvestite " booming hell what do i do now how can i live with this , me yes me being a transvestite , no i am not one of those so this will have to stop , i cannot let anyone know about this .
But also hidden in this shock was a sort of a sense of relief that i knew there are others like me out there some where .
Well to cut a long storey short i tried to stop , but you guessed it not for long , so i made the decision to tell my wife some of what i liked ( yes only some ) because at that time i did not know it all as this was a new stage for me to shear it with someone .
Sorry about the longness so i will get back to the question , do i consider myself as a cross dresser , No i don't and if i had SRS i would not consider myself as TS you might find this odd or some sort of denial on my part but i just feel like i am me and that will not change whatever i wear or have done to my boddy it is just me and i have no lable exept me .

That was a bit long for me :heehee:



joanne :fairy2: Poo i think i have missed most of the question so you can have it moved if you like

I've gone from hiding it in my early years to finally coming "out" and being an ultra-feminine prude (Victoria) to being an in your face tomboy (Ericka) to amalgamation of feelings and just being myself (Salandra/Arianna). Looking back it seems like much ado about nothing sometimes. Mostly because I'm where I was originally as a youngster in just being who I am and wondering why there was ever any "problem" with that. What happened along the way was necessary to experience I guess. Being a husband and father was all fine and good and I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

The payoff, however, at this point is simply being myself without all the societal and sometimes self imposed dysphoria and drama. It's like a fine wine I suppose and just gets better with age. I use all the terms (CD, TG, TS, etc.) for points of reference mostly but really only consider myself just me. The dressing is a conscious choice for expressing myself but when all is said and done, I'm just myself inside. Really, at this point in my life what can anyone do to me? I'm myself for better or worse my friend.:)

Wendy,

I have nothing brilliant to add to your comments. Well stated and thx for sharing.

Hugs,
Kiera :coffee2:

Good question Wendy,
I sure have changed over the years,went through the same "guilty perv" feelings, then found out I wasnt alone, thanks to the internet and found myself,, accepted who I am.
Next was the rush of getting out, meeting friends taking girl trips going to events,, I was hooked !!
Now I have turned into some sort of recluse cd hermit or something,, I can dress at home whenever I want,,not often latley, we all know how that goes, but when it comes to going out I have lost the urge or excitement ? Cant explain why,, dont know if its another phase ?
I feel bad knowing I havnt gone out when invited to some local girls nights out's,mainly because I still want to meet up with everyone. The last time I planned a night out I ended up with unexpected guests and it didnt work out.
SCC is here 30 miles from home and for the second year in a row I dont think I will make it. I used to plan all year for this event so why dont I make the effort to get fixed up and drive downtown where there are hundreds of us having a great time ?Is there a name for someone turning anti social ? I miss seeing everyone but something has changed.
Ok that was a bit of a rant , but yes I have changed
Cindy

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Originally Posted by Wendy me

for what ever reason you dress........ do you find that over the years you have changed?????
do you still look at the part of you that comes out as the same person that you started all this with ????????..........

and lastly if your a cross dresser do you believe that some one can stop????and still dress and not be anything more that who they are???????.........

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Wendy I think we all evolve over time and I am no exception

My dressing used to be limited to just underwear especially when I had to hide things. Now I would say when I have the chance, I dress to the point where I could walk out the door and not really look out of place.

Yes it is the same person but they are now older and wiser

I have no doubt some people can stop dressing but that is not really the question

It's more can you dress but not see it as crossdressing

If you see your self as two seperate personalities then how can it be crossdressing they dont swap clothes

However the general observer will still see it as crossdressing

Wendy, I know I've changed a bit over time. The desire comes and goes, but never leaves completely. Circumstances and events in our lives may cause us to change directions. Over time I have come to understand myself better (not completely, just better), but still question myself, and wonder if it is all worth it. I am definitely no expert on this subject, but I do know it never hurts to talk about it, and get things off your chest. That is why we are all here together. Any time you need to talk, my ears, and many others, are wide open. :hugs:

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Originally Posted by Wendy me

for what ever reason you dress........ do you find that over the years you have changed????? do you still look at the part of you that comes out as the same person that you started all this with ????????..........

and lastly if your a cross dresser do you believe that some one can stop????and still dress and not be anything more that who they are???????.........

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omg,here we go again...lol,just kidding.Somebody had to say it :)

Ive changed a lot over the years.From hideing in my bedroom to walking around a day spa with my toes freshly painted is a lot.Takeing all the negative comments,all the reasons why Im "weird",everything that says this is not right and throwing it all away and out of my mind.Finally realizing that this is who I am and not what everybody thinks I am or who I should be for them.Never again.

I dont feel like Im the same person that I started with because I allowed myself to grow by not conforming and letting myself be myself.

In the way you mean stop,I could see it.I understand your meaning completely.

Being you is what its all about.I applaud you DD'sgirl I feel the same way.

I wish i knew...
Sometimes i,m him, sometimes i,m her, but the pair of of us only have the one body to share!!

Good question Wendy, one day i hope i can answer it properly!!