The feeling/desire is gone...

The desire to dress and do all the other things seems to have evaporated with me.

I haven't been in here much over the past few weeks and I haven't even dressed now in about a month I guess.

I've stopped all my subtle "femme" activities...wearing panties 24/7 shaving etc...

It seems to have changed right before my Shepherd was put down...and has carried forwarded to now. I don't feel guilty about dressing...not in any conflict over it...I got bit on both arms several weeks ago when my two male dogs got into a fight in the bedroom at 3AM and I tried to break them up and one of them nailed me pretty good...had about 30 bites, punctures/cuts on both forearms so I couldn't shave...

I'm not going to purge...because I realize I might just be in a funk or something...but the feeling is that I tried it I liked it and I got OK with the look but not to the level of being able to move forward. Plus with the economy and my finacial situation I'm pretty much dead in the water at this time to buy additional items to carry this activity forward....I just feel like I tried it and it was fun and all of that....but now it's time to move on...and I'm not feeling any regret, loss or even joy about it either way...

I really enjoyed the whole experience...learned alot experienced a whole new side of myself and meet a lot of great girls here....buit it just seems that my female side has evaporated away. I guess that's the best way I can explain it....it's like I put a block of ice outside in 50 degree weather and when I went back it was gone....

So I really have no idea where or what tomorrow will bring....I just have to live in the moment and deal with that....

Sooooo, I'll just say everyone take care and until the next time....

Stephanie...

Stephanie,

First off, sorry to hear about the dog. I've been thru a simiar situation and for me, pets are family members so its a tough loss to deal with. The fact that this happened to you during the holiday season (the most stressful time of the year) doesn't make things any easier. So while I am sure you will get plenty of sympatetic responses, allow me to be the first.

Regarding the dressing, my interest has always come and gone over the years, and from what I have read here that seems to be quite normal. Considering what you have gone thru it is no surprise that dressing isn't on your mind.

Smart move not purging. It was always during the down times that I purged and always regretted it a few months later. If you need extra storage space or think you are done for a long time, pack things up well and store them in a safe place.

Hang in there,
Christine

Stephanie,

Over the years I've had these "episodes" of no desire to do anything remotely feminine, and have even purged once or twice, but the desire has always returned (and more often than not, stronger than before). No matter what happens down the road, remember that your brothers and sisters here will still love and appreciate you being here. :hugs:

Alana

Yep.... It happens.... Last summer it left for 3 or 4 months... and I actually forced myself to dress and it finally came back... WHEWWwwwwww!!!

Oh I know things come and go....

As I just mentioned to one of the girls that just e-mailed me that with the Shepherd going down hill about a week before I had to put her down I had my focus on dressing taken away....plus that was the second dog I had to put down in three weeks....so it realy was a hard thing to deal with especially since the Shepherd was my best friend out of all my dogs. I'm still having a very hard time missing her....and I almost daily have "Dakota moments" as my wife and I call them where we'll think of her and simply have a good cry....so is it that we're (or I am) still gieving over her???? maybe...or simply the dressing desire or need isn't there for whatever reason....I don't know...haven't been down this road before....so I really can't say....maybe for me it was simply a curosity thing or maybe I never reached the level that I had hoped for....

I'm just going to sit back and see what happens....if it's passes on and doesn't come back then at least I know I tried it ahd fun with it but it wasn't something that had to be there....if it does come back then that will be fine as well....but I still have a female side regardless and always will have a female side....that will never leave me...simply it jsut might not get brought out into the female clothing.....

You all have been wonderful to talk to share time with and help me with this lifestyle and I hope I have been able to share my thoughts with you as well and haven't bored you to much....

We'll see what happens and who knows maybe Stephanie is just "on vacation" or hiatis of sorts.....
time will tell I guess...

All take care and enjoy the holiday season and I hope Santa is good to you all...

Dressing with my SO is cyclicle. Sometimes he has the urge to dress a lot, and other times just for fun or not all all. Currently he doesn't have an urge to dress, but as I'm comfortable with him either way he doesn't feel pushed to purge. It's all still there for when he wants it.

Don't quite know how he's gonna take the christmas pressie that I bought 'her' if she's not around though :heehee:

Sherry, hope the best of the holidays for you and your family.
Hope to hear from you again.:hugs:

We'll keep the light on for you. :wave: In the mean time take care of that new puppy and tell the other dogs NO MORE FIGHTING.

Hang in there Sherry it'll be back hun.:hugs:
Angie

New puppy???? try two new puppies....one of the wife's customers at her work had some pups and offered to give her whichever one she wanted after he heard about the two we lost....this one is part Daushund, part Beagle and half Pomeranian and she's simply adorable and really sweet as well, but really small....it took me all of 5 seconds to fall for this little gal....plus the new Shepherd....so they're taking my time as well....both are 11 weeks old born two days apart....and they're playing together, eating together and sleeping together as well but they look like David and Golith!!!!


So I'm back in the puppy mode again.....the Shepherd though is "full of the devil"...but very smart and is learning commnads very quickly...but her claws and teeth are like razors!!!! but she'll do very well in time....won't be like my deceased Shepherd but then again I knew that I won't ever get another one like she was...she was a very special dog that comes along only once in a lifetime....just like special SO's or wives....or truly special friends....

Anyway.....down the road of life we go.....

Sherry, hang in there, honey. What you are experiencing happens to many of us from time to time. You're a smart girl... you'll get through this! You have a great support system in place, both at home and here on the forum, so don't be afraid to use it. In the meantime, enjoy getting to know your new pups.

Yeah, as I mentioned to you I'm on kind of a hiatus myself and actually I'm enjoying my mustache and just being Rich for awhile. For myself it has to do with total unification as a person though, which I'm still trying to totally understand. If I get my thoughts together I may just post a thread about it. Even though I'm not dressing right now, my life is better for exploring who I am and the feelings as I was always suppressing them for most of my life. True freedom to be one's self is a valuable possession and one I don't take lightly in any case. Just be yourself my friend and be true to that self and you will always be happy.:)

For me, when my dad passed away I didn't dress up for a good two months solid and then I started to wear my shoes again and a few days later I fell back into the deep end...

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Yep.... It happens.... Last summer it left for 3 or 4 months... and I actually forced myself to dress and it finally came back... WHEWWwwwwww!!!

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Yep, what Karren said happened to me as well. Except the forcing part. LOL!!! You'll get that feeling back and everything will be alright again. Hang in there Babe. Let it come to you at your pace and if it's a few months to a couple of weeks, then cool. It's going to happen when "YOU" want it. Sometimes I feel that viewing pictures and such here gets my urge up and sometimes I feel like I HAVE to. It's up to you. Hope everything outside of CDing is going very well for you and yours. Hugs and kisses always. :GD:

Sherry

I am a newbie on here so please forgive me for responding to your posting.

I am so sorry to hear about your problems and difficulties.

Who knows what the future may hold and you sound like someone who needs a huge hug :hugs: as you move forward.

Whatever you find tomorrow and whichever direction you head, please never forget that you have friends on this site who are hear to listen.

Whether you dressup in the future is not the question, your happiness is what is important and I wish you the very best of luck in finding what that is.

:love:

Steph, I can relate about pets lost. I lost the two best cats i had 13 1/2 yrs, then another new dear cat , to coyotes. A friend of mine has a big mastiff, then got a small lab/terrier mix, like your David and Goliath- very funny! How those fighting dogs did a number on your arms! I haven't dress either for a few weeks. I am older, and just too tired to do it most of the time, also worried about my parents passing any day, 2000 miles away, also am low on work and income, and suffering from a nervous disorder. Life is all about change, I've been told. Karren, when you started again, did you wear jeans?

You've gone through something that brings life back to the basics. The other stuff just isn't as important and for many of us dressing is part of the other stuff. MY dressing has run through peaks and valleys over my entire life. Sometimes I've gone years without doing it like when I was in the military. Then something will come along out of the blue and lite the fire once again. I just hope you're not too far out of style when the urge returns!

First off Steph, hugs to you hun. The loss of a family member is absolutely devastating. Even if you aren't going to dress feel free to come chat with us, we'll be here :)

It comes and goes with me also. I haven't dresed up fully and gone out since March of this year. I have, however, underdressed frequently and worn stuff around the house. I'm sure I'll dress up fully and go out again eventually, I'm just not sure when :)

Depression or injury depresses sex drive. It'll come back.

Stephanie I think the feeling will return after this period of depression subsides. I have gone through three distinct periods in my life where I was convinced that I had 'kicked the habit'. I purged all of my fem things because I was convinced the feeling was gone for good. I was wrong all three times and the feeling returned stronger than before each time. That was many years ago and I know now that I will always be this way and I have come to accept this as being a permanent part of me. I hope you will save your fem things. When Stephanie returns she will want them.

This is a part of our lives.......not our whole lives. At times there are other things that consume our emotions and energies. When the time is right, you'll reach for Steph or she'll reach for you and you'll be there. This is who you are, too.

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Originally Posted by Ze xx

Don't quite know how he's gonna take the christmas pressie that I bought 'her' if she's not around though :heehee:

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Ya better buy him a extra pressie then ;) power tools are a good standby :heehee:

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Originally Posted by CD Susan

Stephanie I think the feeling will return after this period of depression subsides. I have gone through three distinct periods in my life where I was convinced that I had 'kicked the habit'. I purged all of my fem things because I was convinced the feeling was gone for good. I was wrong all three times and the feeling returned stronger than before each time. That was many years ago and I know now that I will always be this way and I have come to accept this as being a permanent part of me. I hope you will save your fem things. When Stephanie returns she will want them.

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Three purges for me as well. All during times of stress or crisis. New job, new house, family memebr seriously ill etc. Whatever happens I offer you best wishes.

~Amanda